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Ever felt alone? - 9/29/2008 10:25:56 PM
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Love2play
Posts: 119
Status: offline
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I am 18 yrs old, going to turn 19 yrs old.
Even though I got a family that loves me, I still feel pretty alone.
My mom and dad basically work the whole day so I hardly get to see them, my older sister pretty much focuses on university and her engagement/fiancee and my little brother .... well, he's still a little kid lol
I don't really have a church right now because I left my previous one a month back, so it's hard to keep in touch with some of the people that I thought were my friends
I'm going to start college in January so right now I am just working
I know I have a God who will never forsake me and I can't even begin how to show my gratitude, but God created other human beings for a reason right?
I don't really have any close friends that I can rely on since most of them moved away or we just lost touch
*sigh*
I read my Bible daily, watch preachings online/on tv so I can keep my relationship with God on a good flow, but sometimes I just feel like I need someone to spend time with, hang out and just have a few laughs.
Am I being selfish or something? Is something wrong with me feeling this way?
It's painful feeling this way.
Anybody else in a similar situation? Or has been in one?
_____________________________
"I've also concluded that whatever God does, that's the way it's going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God's done it and that's it. That's so we'll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear."
Ecclesiastes 03:14 - The Message
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RE: Ever felt alone? - 9/29/2008 10:51:15 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 789
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: online
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Make every effort to get plugged in at a church Love2play.
I don't know what happened at the church you left but
I hope whatever the issues are will be resolved.
Remember - even Christians make bad decisions/choices...
the hardest thing to do is choosing to forgive those who have
hurt you regardless... even if they haven't apologized.
Forgive them, give it to God in prayer and take a step each day
to move ahead of what's happened.
Renew your mind upon the Word of God (read your Bible and apply
it in your life.)
You aren't alone... many others deal with feelings of loneliness...
I know I do from time to time.
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RE: Ever felt alone? - 9/29/2008 11:10:31 PM
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shadowspring
Posts: 1638
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
Am I being selfish or something? Is something wrong with me feeling this way?
It's painful feeling this way.
Anybody else in a similar situation? Or has been in one?
((((Love2play))))
Yes, it hurts, but there are things you can do to lessen the pain. I think it is something that we will all face in our lives, and more than once. But it will pass, I assure you. 
I have definitely been alone, in fact over and over again. Life seems to come in cycles for me. Loneliness followed by plenty of social activity, move again and start it all over. Even after being married I have been through lonely times!
There are some things you can do to get you through this time more easily. I will list my suggestions in no particular order:
Exercise every day. A brisk walk is better than nothing. Walk the dog if you have one! Exercise keeps the endorphins flowing- very important to fighting off the loneliness blues.
Join groups. You recently left your youth group? Look for a new one. Or join a fitness group like jazzzercise or yoga, a running club or a school club.
Ask the Lord to love people through you. Next time you think of someone, write them a note and mail it to them, or message their myspace/facebook. Call someone and invite them over to watch a movie.
Look for unlikely friends: an elderly neighbor, your younger sibling, etc. Don't turn anyone away unless they would be a danger to your walk with God.
Do volunteer work. Work in the nursery at your new church, volunteer at a local mission, just do nice things for your family. You'll stay busy, which is always a plus during lonely times.
Start projects. Sew something. Work on a scrapbook. Write a short story. Plant a garden. Rent a movie you wanted to see but skipped. Do anything other than nothing!
The hardest part for me is facing the truth that it takes time to build up a worthwhile friendship. I want a bff now, ya know?!  But people don't work that way, so get yourself mentally prepared to weather this lonely period.
If you stay busy and focused on helping/loving others, you probably won't even notice when it happened, but I guarantee your life will fill up with people again. 
_____________________________
"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
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RE: Ever felt alone? - 9/30/2008 10:43:50 AM
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Love2play
Posts: 119
Status: offline
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Well I didn't have any personal problems with anybody at my previous church.
I just didn't agree with how the church ran and the rules and stuff.
I have been startin to go to a new church near my home and I have been tryin to go to their youth services, but something has always been comin up.
Sooner or later, I'll go to youth service haha.
But thanks Jaime and Shawdowspring ...
I appreciate your comforting responses
God bless you guys :)
_____________________________
"I've also concluded that whatever God does, that's the way it's going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God's done it and that's it. That's so we'll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear."
Ecclesiastes 03:14 - The Message
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RE: Ever felt alone? - 9/30/2008 11:57:54 AM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 6958
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
Status: offline
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I could have written your post. My Mom and Dad work all day also,I don't have that many close friends,and my brother isn't living at home right now.He will be moving back home at the end of October though. When I am lonely and bored I play video games,watch tv,or go online.I do get lonely alot though and am trying to get into doing volunteer work too. If you ever want someone to talk to I am here for you,cause I totally understand where you are.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
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RE: Ever felt alone? - 9/30/2008 12:49:49 PM
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DaveW
Posts: 4070
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Love2play
I read my Bible daily, watch preachings online/on tv so I can keep my relationship with God on a good flow, but sometimes I just feel like I need someone to spend time with, hang out and just have a few laughs.
Am I being selfish or something? Is something wrong with me feeling this way?
It's painful feeling this way.
Anybody else in a similar situation? Or has been in one? I think what you are experiencing is not unusual. Probably most people have seasons where they feel just like that. I know I have at times.
CS Lewis once said that the bible knows nothing of solitary religion.
Much of what we are taught in the pages of scripture only makes sense in the redeemed community. So find a congregation and get plugged in, even if it is only until you go off to college. Find one there as well.
Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you.
Kingdom = the King and the "dum," that is his people.
_____________________________
Avatar is Saphira 5 months and Louvena at 23 months!
We are now grandparents TWICE!!
====================================
Our CD is now available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
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RE: Ever felt alone? - 9/30/2008 1:26:56 PM
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rgod
Posts: 1475
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Love2play
I am 18 yrs old, going to turn 19 yrs old.
Even though I got a family that loves me, I still feel pretty alone.
My mom and dad basically work the whole day so I hardly get to see them, my older sister pretty much focuses on university and her engagement/fiancee and my little brother .... well, he's still a little kid lol
I don't really have a church right now because I left my previous one a month back, so it's hard to keep in touch with some of the people that I thought were my friends
I'm going to start college in January so right now I am just working
I know I have a God who will never forsake me and I can't even begin how to show my gratitude, but God created other human beings for a reason right?
I don't really have any close friends that I can rely on since most of them moved away or we just lost touch
*sigh*
I read my Bible daily, watch preachings online/on tv so I can keep my relationship with God on a good flow, but sometimes I just feel like I need someone to spend time with, hang out and just have a few laughs.
Am I being selfish or something? Is something wrong with me feeling this way?
It's painful feeling this way.
Anybody else in a similar situation? Or has been in one?
I don't know if this will comfort you any, but I think that what you are experiencing is fairly common. You said you are 18 right? So, that probably means that you graduated from high school recently - which means that a lot of your friends are probably off to college or maybe got married or otherwise moved away - or are traveling in different circles now. You are working - possibly in a workplace where everyone isn't your age. And they might be new people even if they are your age. Your parents have always worked all day probably - but you were busy so it might not have been so apparent. Your sister is trying to build a relationship with her fiance - and that takes time. She's also in university. Now, you've also transitioned out of your church and you've not found a new one yet. You've had major life changes, although you might not have physically gone anywhere.
It is normal to feel lonely during a life change. You aren't selfish, there's nothing wrong. This is part of the reason why people often resist change, because it often includes a period like the one that you are facing now - that in-between time when you are lonely and starting to build a new life. I've been lonely many times in my life. I've been alone more than I've been in a group. But, I've had to learn how to cultivate relationships. And you'll learn how to do this too.
I'd say, take the time to look for a good church. Pray and ask God about it. Try to find something that has lots of young people in it and that has relationship-building type activities (like fellowships). Try to build the bridges with your sister. Tell her that you'd like to talk with her a bit more - maybe she can carve out a bit of time for you. But know she might only be able to do so much since she has a lot on her plate. Maybe you can keep in touch by text message or some other form of communication - something to keep the connection. In January, when you go to college, you'll have more contact with people your age. You might have an easier time making friends and meeting people. Also, intiate contact with your old friends - through myspace, facebook etc. Some might come home for fall break or for Christmas and you can catch up with them. Some of these relationships might not last, but maybe a few will. And keep your eyes open. This is a great time to cultivate friendships with people who are not in your age group. Older people, or those that you might not necessarily talk with - can often make good friends. Keep those friendships going when you are in college. I deliberately try to cultivate friendships with my aunts, my sister, and my family in addition to others. As far as your parents - maybe you can ask your mom or dad if they'd like to have lunch with you one day. Maybe you can drive and meet them someplace close to their workplace if you have a day off. Doing little things like that can be really helpful - even if you do them every once in a while.
Turn to God in your loneliness as well. When it gets to be too much, just tell Him you are lonely. Don't fight it - just ask Him to comfort you. It is absolutely amazing how your lonely feelings can just cease so quickly when you do that. I feel for you because I've been there. But you'll make it through this time and move into a season when you aren't so lonely. The good thing about times like this, is that you'll be able to relate to another person who is lonely - it will give you compassion. In fact, both joy and compassion are usually developed as a result of sorrow.
_____________________________
Please take my news poll: http://forums.crosswalk.com/Current+Events/m_3896304/mpage_1/tm.htm#3897243
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RE: Ever felt alone? - 9/30/2008 1:39:59 PM
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RubySparkles
Posts: 266
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
So find a congregation and get plugged in, even if it is only until you go off to college. Find one there as well.
This is a good idea. Keep yourself busy and three months will fly by.
XX
_____________________________
Lord, all our success is because of what you have done, so give us peace.
Is 26:12
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RE: Ever felt alone? - 9/30/2008 2:15:54 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1857
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
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(((Love2play)))
God put us in the body of Christ; we aren't meant to be alone and the loneliness is real.
I can't say it any better than what Shadowspring said. And make it a priority to get to those youth services. Reach other to others, as there are probably lonely people there who might love to get to know you better, too. I am praying for you, dear one.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Ever felt alone? - 10/1/2008 9:58:39 AM
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Love2play
Posts: 119
Status: offline
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Thanks guys for all of your replies
I'm actually feeling a bit better now thanks all of your advice and kind words
God bless you all
_____________________________
"I've also concluded that whatever God does, that's the way it's going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God's done it and that's it. That's so we'll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear."
Ecclesiastes 03:14 - The Message
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RE: Ever felt alone? - 10/2/2008 11:38:29 AM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 6958
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
Status: offline
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You're very welcome!
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
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