7arrows
Posts: 92
Joined: 4/2/2009
From: Georgia
Status: offline
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I'm not going to say why I am struggling and going through so much with my mouth, but I have narrowed it down to about three. This doesn't mean these are all the reasons, neither does it mean I am correct about them. I just am feeling this way. Is it okay to say how I feel to God? Probably one reason is, or I believe it is; me reaping what I have sown into my flesh. Since I have sown so much into my flesh, perhaps its just me reaping the corruption that follows(Gal 6:8). My life and my faith, or lack thereof has reflected the amount of time I have sown into my flesh, and the amount of time I have sown into my Spirit. I have seen the fruit of sowing fleshly seeds more than spiritual seeds.
I admit to you Father that once again I have comitted idolatry. I also once again repent. I do want you to control me my LORD, my(Owner). My flesh has been my Owner, my(LORD). If my heart is sincere, because you know if it is or not. My heart, or my feelings you said are fradulent above all things, and desperately incurable: who can discern and understand them? You LORD are the one who examines my feelings, you are the one who investigates my mind. You do it to pay me and every person according to their own way of life, and for our character which is determined by our deeds(Jer 17:9-10). If my heart or feelings are sincere in asking this; show me your salvation, and deliver me from the control and lordship of my flesh.
Secondly, the problems may have risen because I am a valuable warrior of Jesus Christ. All warriors must suffer troubles and afflictions. These things come with war. Overcoming and prevailing also come with war, which you always, with such faithfulness make me victorious no matter how small, or big the battle is. After each battle, knowing it was you who brought the victory is made manifest like the fragrance of a man's cologne deeply applied, which all those in all places he goes recognizes(2Tim2:3, 2Cor 2:14). Overcoming and prevailing is what makes me valuable. Although you are the one who makes me valuable. This goodness is too remarkable for me to understand. This goodness is too strong. I cannot overcome it(Psalm139:6).
Thirdly, the problems may have risen because satan desires to sift me as wheat. You LORD, as my intercessor have prayed that my faith fail not, and is seated at the right hand of God, for me(Lu22:32,Rom8:34). He desires to stop me from fulfilling my vision. he thought I wouldn't find my vision, although I believe he hid it. That battle has been won. Now that the vision is clear, you are teaching me to focus on that vision. This battle to is won. Thank you, In Jesus name Amen. 
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1Ti 3:5 (For if a man know nothow to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
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Spiritual Journal 06/19/09 - 
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