jhuperetes
Posts: 472
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Thanks
I called You my God
hoped You crush my enemies
Saw You as a monster
with pleasure in tormenting
I had no chance
I was nothing but sin
smallest runt in a line of giants
I could never amount to anything
So I left You
I hated You for not loving me
I knew You just tolerated my life
How I wished You did not
and just took it back
years grew to decades
and I made things happen
I was the lead
I made my own heaven
but it was all a charade
i simply poured liquid lead
in my eyes and ears
smiling at all
while screaming in agony alone
then You nudged my life
and the whole house of cards
begun to tumble
pomp, riches, pride, and love
and nothing was left
but the gutter and slop
and I blamed You for all
everything was Your fault
I vowed to use and abuse
I vowed never to look back
Told them dare to ask for more,
and I won't even leave a track
The darkness became the norm
callus form on my heart
You are nothing!
Are you done, my son?
Like an other item
She walked into my life
but I feared something else
cut my thick as a knife
loved me from a distance
and I warmed to a new life
but torment of the past
kept calling with persistence
and my past kept sweet noises
bringing the doses in just
so I could not let go
was blind to the ploys
till she had enough
confronting my ills
ripping the past open
exposing the rough
It is the lighting Father I waited for!
thank You for the past
thank You for patience
thank You for the future
I will hold fast
Now I walk with You
But she wont
She is stuck in my past
and nothing seems to renew
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