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Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 12:10:43 PM
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manda59
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What do you think of this?
Was this ever done to you?
I've read elsewhere about hot sauce being put on a child's tongue (I think it was recommended by Lisa Welchel). What do you think about that?
I am personally against both practices - for a number of reasons that I will go into later, once others have had a chance to respond.
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 12:21:23 PM
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Mrs.X
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I had it done to me once by my grandpa, and I learned my lesson. Pears soap is the nastyest thing on the planet.
I know if a kid swallows too much soap they can get the runs, so I probably wouldn't do the soap thing with my boys. But, I'm not opposed to the hot sauce idea except that I think they might be immune to it since I make spicy food. But, if they weren't I'm all for punishing the offending part.
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 12:28:34 PM
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stateofgrace
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I didn't do either the soap or the hot sauce to my children.
I've discovered over time that punishment doesn't have to be humiliating or potentially unhealthy to be effective.
I remember the hot sauce thing being one example, I felt, of somewhat vindictive punishment (in Lisa's book). It sounded to me like she relished some of her "creative" punishments. Perhaps she had meant some of her comments in the book in a humorous way, but that's not how I read them at the time.
< Message edited by stateofgrace -- 7/10/2007 12:30:37 PM >
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 12:39:35 PM
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JoyfulLady
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I never had it done to me, and haven't decided if i will do it to my children.
My SIL has one child who is extremely stubborn. SIL will tell her they need to "wash the naughty bugs out" and puts soap on a washcloth and rubs it around a little in the mouth. She says it's very effective.
I think in the right situation it's acceptable. It shouldn't be overdone or done in a vindictive, out-of-control-angry way.
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 12:50:40 PM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SteelMagnolia
I had it done to me once by my grandpa, and I learned my lesson. Pears soap is the nastyest thing on the planet.
If you don't mind saying, what did you have it done for? (ie was it for lying, swearing, answering back or ??? )
quote:
I know if a kid swallows too much soap they can get the runs, so I probably wouldn't do the soap thing with my boys. But, I'm not opposed to the hot sauce idea except that I think they might be immune to it since I make spicy food. But, if they weren't I'm all for punishing the offending part.
One question that comes to mind is: is the mouth truly the offending part?
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 12:57:39 PM
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Homegrownkids
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No, the mouth isn't the true offending part, it is the heart. But there is a Bible verse that says that if your eye offends, pluck it out, or if your arm offends pluck it off.... but those aren't the offending parts either.
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 12:58:24 PM
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laura...
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My youngest had a problem with biting. I could never bring myself to bite back. Instead I gave him something else to bite -- a bar of soap. He never bit anyone again.
I don't recall ever having a problem with them related to bad language. Correcting them once or twice seemed sufficient for any inappropriate language.
My youngest did have a problem with lying. I didn't use soap for that. It was a longer process of him learning that lying caused loss of trust and if he wanted to be trusted he needed to prove that he was truthful. The consequence for lying depended on the situation involving the lie. I can't recall any specifics. That was a looooonnnnng time ago.
< Message edited by laura... -- 7/10/2007 1:01:59 PM >
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 1:01:15 PM
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BarbBlessed
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Foul language never came up with my daughter, but no, I would not have put soap or hot sauce in her mouth if it had.
My mother had 6 of us, fairly close together and we picked up some inappropriate language playing ball with the neighbor kids. Each time she'd hear one of her kids swearing, she'd send the offender to spit in the toilet. ("Dirty talk like that belongs in the sewer!")
Looking back on it now, I'm surprised that none of us made a joke of it. I remember my brother having to head to the toilet when he was 8 or 9.
I suppose it was the shame/embarrassment of seeing my mom so disgusted by something we'd done.
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 1:23:23 PM
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Forest-Lady
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It's never been done to me. I remember once a babysitter tried to put soap in my sister's mouth. The sitter was a teenager and wanted me to help her catch my sister and hold her down. I don't remember exactly what my sister said.. may be she talked back or she let the sitter know she didn't like her. Anyway, I was very upset about it and told my mother the minute she returned -- she was never asked to babysit again. I had never heard of putting soap in a child's mouth before that.
Now as parent, I wouldn't put anything in my child's mouth for punishment.
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 2:00:51 PM
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3cappuccinosmom
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The thought of washing their mouths with soap makes me cringe. I don't think I ever had it done to me, and I doubt I'll ever have the gumption to do it. Certainly not with a young child. If a small child of mine is using bad words, the fault is mine, not theirs.
Right now, Mr. Spanky Spoon corrects just fine, on the rare occasions he's needed. 
OTOH, if I had a teenager who for some reason thought it was acceptable to curse out his mother, or something, I imagine a mouth wash would be far preferable to what would happen to him should dh catch him spewing foul language. In a case like that, I might give them a choice--wash your own mouth out with soap and never speak those words again, or suffer your father's righteous wrath. 
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 2:11:10 PM
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peculiar_lady2
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quote:
My youngest had a problem with biting. I could never bring myself to bite back. Instead I gave him something else to bite -- a bar of soap. He never bit anyone again.
ROFLOL!!!! Now THAT situation I can see using this in...lol...but it's honestly one of the few I would feel were appropriate. I can also see using the hot sauce for thumb sucking...to deter it..if it were to even work. HOWEVER, those IMO are not really punishments as much as deterrents.
I personally don't like things like soap or hot sauce in the mouth, or kids being forced to sit on their knees on rice, or having to stand in the corner for hours on end, or a few others (that I won't bring up because there is a whole one stop thread on it already). I think we have found some very effective punishments for our kids, and they are quick, so it doesn't drag it out forever, and they learn their lesson from them quickly. You can punish without humiliating and when you do that you deal with the core issue of the heart instead of the outward appearance of the issue at hand.
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 2:24:30 PM
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brotherbrian
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I was the one who origionally brought up the "soap in the mouth" deal, and yes I've been on both ends of the bar.
There's nothing harmful, degrading, or damaging about it.
It's quick and attention-getting, just like a timely and judiciously delivered spanking is.
I suppose it's a difference in child rearing philosophy for some of us.
Some parents believe that they should appeal to the child's sense of right and wrong which will eventually result in the kids abandoning the bad behaviour.
"My camp", on the other hand, believes that the first point of business is stopping the bad behaviour immediately, THEN appealing to the child's emotions, and building character traits.
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 2:31:34 PM
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peculiar_lady2
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quote:
I suppose it's a difference in child rearing philosophy for some of us.
Some parents believe that they should appeal to the child's sense of right and wrong which will eventually result in the kids abandoning the bad behaviour.
"My camp", on the other hand, believes that the first point of business is stopping the bad behaviour immediately, THEN appealing to the child's emotions, and building character traits.
that's not true...we are all trying to accomplish the same goal, just using different methods and approaches. What one person feels is necessary isn't in my book...with my kids...and our situation...in our home. It's not to say that every person that does something differently wants a different result from it then you who do things totally differently then me. Sometimes I discipline for the heart issues and sometimes I do it for the immediate response and deal with the heart later. But that isn't determined by my method of approach
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 2:34:33 PM
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dramagirl4God
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No, I will not use soap or hot sauce. Soap is dangerous, even using a little bit can cause a soap bubble form in the back of the throat, and choke the child, I know a woman who's been a nurse for years, and has seen this happen. You cannot control what happens once it's in you child's mouth and I do not think there should be any risk involved in disciplining your child.
Homegrown: the connection with hot sauce is the concept of where naughty words come from...h-e-double toothpicks...this is what it will feel like if you continue with naughty words kind of thing.
Personally I won't do this either, to me, doing something physically miserable to a child doesn't stop the behavior, it just stops it from happening around YOU. I think that discipline should be involved with natural consequences of hurtful actions...like Laura said, her son lied and had to deal with the loss of trust. That just makes more sense to me.
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 2:48:21 PM
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Room2Grow
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I got my mouth scrubbed out for saying "OH my Gosh"- and yes, I mean gosh. To my grandma, it was the same thing- Lava soap- yuck, yuck...
I have put a dot of hot sauce on my daughters tongue for bad language. Other things (ignoring, redirecting, time out, spanking) were not working- for her, I have only had to do it 4 times in the two years that we have been having issues. To her it is like , wow, she won't do that...yep, she did, but will she do it twice- yep. Okay, enough testing. 6 months later, same issue, same result. She discovered some new bad words on our last trip to visit family and all I had to do was explain that it was not okay and she needed to fix it. The next time, I set some hot sauce on the counter- she got the point, no problems in two weeks.
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 2:56:26 PM
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manda59
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So, those of you who advocate using soap or hot sauce or whatever.
How do you get the child to open their mouth? What do you do if they won't?
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 3:00:32 PM
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JeffSexton
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I've been on the recieving end of soap a couple of times... you learned to make SURE mom did NOT buy Ivory!!
As far as my style goes though, I get loud and physical. Between the two, the lesson is learned, fast and efficient. I'm a firm believer that pain is the best and most efficient teacher.
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 3:07:20 PM
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Auben
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I'm not officially against it. Children are different. Parents are different. I know a few parents who use the tabasco on the tongue in place of a spanking for very difficult children.
That said, I'm glad my children have responded to other correction because I've always considered that punishment a bit silly. I've never known a child who it stopped in full. Usually all it did was teach them what not to do around Mom and Dad. (Or give them a love of vinegar or tabasco.)
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 3:24:16 PM
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Bro_Shane
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
So, those of you who advocate using soap or hot sauce or whatever.
How do you get the child to open their mouth? What do you do if they won't?
Tell them to open their mouth. If they do not, then either I will sit there with them until they do or spank them for not minding me when I told them to do something. Then they get the soap after the spanking.
Life is much easier when you listen to and obey Daddy.
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RE: Washing a child's mouth out with soap?? - 7/10/2007 3:25:52 PM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Bro_Shane
Tell them to open their mouth. If they do not, then either I will sit there with them until they do or spank them for not minding me when I told them to do something. Then they get the soap after the spanking.
Out of interest - what age child would this apply to, and for what kind of offence?
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(not that I would do that, I"m not even sure if that is possible! 
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