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Why DID the Chicken Cross the Road ? - 5/17/2008 10:34:00 AM
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inthysite
Posts: 763
Joined: 2/12/2008
Status: offline
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Why DID the Chicken Cross the Road ?
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue
with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me
uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that
every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to
cross the road. But then, this really isn't about
me.......
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on
'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the
problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we
need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting
by not taking on h is 'CURRENT' problems before
adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead
of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take
falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the
road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.
There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of
the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was
misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it
now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to
sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No
little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed
I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth?' That's why they ca ll it the
'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say
we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless
phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be
crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and
that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of
molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of
crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2008, which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your check book. Internet
Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never
cra...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens
_____________________________
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Thy sight, O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer - Psalm 19:14
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RE: Why DID the Chicken Cross the Road ? - 5/17/2008 10:45:14 AM
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rcjames
Posts: 5291
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline
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Kudos for the post, I needed a good giggle this morning.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: Why DID the Chicken Cross the Road ? - 5/17/2008 4:41:32 PM
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walkin2e
Posts: 170
Joined: 7/4/2005
From: Blackshear, Georgia
Status: offline
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Norman Vincent Peale;
The chicken crossed the road to show a 'possum "it could be done"...The power of positive thinking, and How to Win Friends and influence 'possums.
walkin2e
_____________________________
"And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him." Gen 5.24 http://www.myspace.com/wwwmyspacecomwalkin2e
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RE: Why DID the Chicken Cross the Road ? - 5/17/2008 5:48:27 PM
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rcjames
Posts: 5291
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline
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A Calvinist;
The chicken crossed the road, but had absolutely nothing to do with it as it was predestined that he be on the other side..
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: Why DID the Chicken Cross the Road ? - 5/17/2008 6:39:53 PM
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1dblthnk02
Posts: 647
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline
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Global Warming Critic:
Al Gore says that it is Chicken Little trying to run away from the coming Global Warming doomsday. But, in fact, we all know that the chicken has been back and forth across the road several times leading us to conclude that she isn't really crossing because of her industrial progress, rather it is the road itself moving beneath her feet according to completely natural cylces of fluctuation.
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RE: Why DID the Chicken Cross the Road ? - 5/19/2008 10:55:02 AM
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freakofnature
Posts: 761
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline
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Global warming scientist:
"The chicken had to cross the road because it was standing next to a cow which is emmitting vast amounts of CO2 into the air. But alas, it is snowing on the other side of the road, so now we shall call it global climate change..."
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