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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/6/2008 1:14:12 PM
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2shaye
Posts: 5463
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: So. Cal.
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I'm in the process of writing a book about it, but basically, it sounds like you are doing what I start out doing. In your case, though, it sounds like your dd is not quite ready if she hasn't had any success "for days". Are you giving her lot's of liquid in order for her to have success? Are you offering any type of reward for trying? For going? Are you using diapers, pull-ups or training pants? Are you putting a diaper on her at any time other than when she is in her bed to sleep?
You may want to put if off for a few weeks or so.
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aka Skipperjoe
I Love New York!
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/6/2008 3:01:49 PM
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manda59
Posts: 5744
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: VisitorinWaiting
She will wait until she's in her bed and wet there, or in the middle of the living room on the floor...
I had a potty in every room and found that helped a lot.
_____________________________
"I love Manda's suggestion to just laugh most of it off.."
Tinkerbell, September 2008
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/6/2008 3:10:34 PM
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manda59
Posts: 5744
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 2shaye
Are you offering any type of reward for trying? For going?
I used to give my two something to hold while they were sitting there - with my son it was a tub of Vaseline and a cotton bud, which he loved poking around in it, lol.
But I didn't give rewards for going, nor did I give an excessive amount of praise or show excitement, because that can put pressure on the child to please the parent and leave the child disappointed if they haven't managed to go. Or give them a bit of a power trip that leads them to hold on to it in order to control the parent.
With my two I emphasised the benefits for them and acted like it was a matter of fact thing that everyone did sooner or later. And we sang made-up songs about bodily functions, which kept them focussed on what they were there for. Plus listened to the various noises, looked at the shapes of the poo and then always said "bye bye wee" or "bye bye poo" as the toilet was flushed.
_____________________________
"I love Manda's suggestion to just laugh most of it off.."
Tinkerbell, September 2008
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/6/2008 4:30:40 PM
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nicole6598
Posts: 4000
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
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same here manda, they NEED to go to the toilet, they should not need a sticker or treat to go because that could be their motivation, where as going because you have to is the reward.
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Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/10/2008 1:01:21 PM
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VisitorinWaiting
Posts: 801
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DD tells me "Done," when she has wet her "panties" or after sleep-times (yes, nap time and bed time are the only times she wears pull-ups)...when she is on the potty, she will sit there for a while and say, "Done." So, it's almost like she knows what she's supposed to do...since she uses the same word for wetting her diaper and when she's sitting on the potty, but she hasn't done anything yet. I praise her for trying...and she loves to sit there. She gets out of the bed in the morning and says, "Potty," and runs to get there. She LOVES it. I have told her that she will get a prize if she goes, but since she hasn't yet, she doesn't even get it, I don't think.
_____________________________
Hebrews 11:13,16 "...They said they were like visitors and strangers on earth...they were waiting for a better country, a heavenly country." (NCV)
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 3/10/2008 8:32:49 PM
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VisitorinWaiting
Posts: 801
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*Sigh* of relief...well, a little bit of success today...after much trial. So, she woke up from her nap. I took her to go potty. This was around 3:30. So, she sat there, but didn't do anything. So, I give her some Kool-Aide...and then take her every thirty minutes until dinner. She eats dinner and drinks another cup of Kool-Aide. Then after she finishes all of that, I give her another cup of Kool-Aide. Still taking her every 30 minutes. So, we'd just got back from going, and she looks at me and says, "Potty." So, I take her...she does nothing. I bring her back. She says, "Potty" again...no more than 2 minutes after we sat down. I said, "No, you don't have to go again." Well, she wet me...so I took her to the potty...nothing... Then brought her back, and she said, "Potty." I said, "You just went. You can wait." (I guess I didn't learn the first time.) She wets me again. So, I take her to the potty and I say, "You are sitting there until you do SOMETHING." So, I go back in there, after changing clothes AGAIN, and she gets up...there is something in there...only about a quarter-sized little spot, but SOMETHING. Wow...I thought she didn't know what the thing was for...except just a nice little seat for her bottom!!!
_____________________________
Hebrews 11:13,16 "...They said they were like visitors and strangers on earth...they were waiting for a better country, a heavenly country." (NCV)
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 6/19/2008 3:03:20 PM
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PoorlyKnitSweater
Posts: 3
Joined: 2/23/2007
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My son is 90 percent trained. He knows the logistics behind it all, but averages about an accident, sometimes 2, daily. They are usually urinary in nature, occaisionally poop. He attends daycare full time weekly so the accidents usually occur there. Sometimes they're at naptime, others he's just distracted and suddenly wet. He used to tell them when he needed to go, and has recently ceased so that they either have to ask him or just take him. He only wears pullups at naptime and underwear all other times. He'll be 4 next month, and I'm frazzled with not having any accident free days. I've tried all the tricks, even trying to offer a toy after 3 days accident free. I'm kinda pushing an end Aug deadline due to the fact he will begin public preschool. Can you offer me any advice to get rid of that dreaded daily accident??
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 6/20/2008 5:24:00 PM
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manda59
Posts: 5744
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PoorlyKnitSweater
My son is 90 percent trained. He knows the logistics behind it all, but averages about an accident, sometimes 2, daily. They are usually urinary in nature, occaisionally poop. He attends daycare full time weekly so the accidents usually occur there. Sometimes they're at naptime, others he's just distracted and suddenly wet. He used to tell them when he needed to go, and has recently ceased so that they either have to ask him or just take him. He only wears pullups at naptime and underwear all other times. He'll be 4 next month, and I'm frazzled with not having any accident free days. I've tried all the tricks, even trying to offer a toy after 3 days accident free. I'm kinda pushing an end Aug deadline due to the fact he will begin public preschool. Can you offer me any advice to get rid of that dreaded daily accident??
Is he going to be at full-time daycare all the time between now and when he starts public preschool?
Actually I am having trouble understanding why daycare haven't *always* asked him if he wanted to go, or reminded him to go at certain times - it might honestly have been better if they had, rather than waiting for him to tell them. 3 is still quite young for a boy to remember to tell someone that he needs to go, especially within the environment of daycare, where there are presumably lots of distractions.
_____________________________
"I love Manda's suggestion to just laugh most of it off.."
Tinkerbell, September 2008
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 6/23/2008 10:38:16 AM
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PoorlyKnitSweater
Posts: 3
Joined: 2/23/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: PoorlyKnitSweater
My son is 90 percent trained. He knows the logistics behind it all, but averages about an accident, sometimes 2, daily. They are usually urinary in nature, occaisionally poop. He attends daycare full time weekly so the accidents usually occur there. Sometimes they're at naptime, others he's just distracted and suddenly wet. He used to tell them when he needed to go, and has recently ceased so that they either have to ask him or just take him. He only wears pullups at naptime and underwear all other times. He'll be 4 next month, and I'm frazzled with not having any accident free days. I've tried all the tricks, even trying to offer a toy after 3 days accident free. I'm kinda pushing an end Aug deadline due to the fact he will begin public preschool. Can you offer me any advice to get rid of that dreaded daily accident??
Is he going to be at full-time daycare all the time between now and when he starts public preschool?
Actually I am having trouble understanding why daycare haven't *always* asked him if he wanted to go, or reminded him to go at certain times - it might honestly have been better if they had, rather than waiting for him to tell them. 3 is still quite young for a boy to remember to tell someone that he needs to go, especially within the environment of daycare, where there are presumably lots of distractions.
Well.. depending on whether the daycare wishes to help me out is whether he will be there until Preschool at the end of August. I've said I want to take the next step to getting him as consistant as possilbe and take away pullups at naptime. The main reason being, sometimes they use the pullups during other times of day. If I don't bring them, they can't use them, so he's in undies all day. They've told me "no" because of the cot/carpet getting wet. I was actually upset by this, because other daycares I've spoken to side with me on this. I wrote a note to the pastor that oversees the ministry that runs this daycare, offering to bring a waterproof sheet and all. It just seems they don't see it to be in a big hurry after I've been at this for so long. I can take him out with me and he always tells me when he has to go. He does still have some accidents at home if distracted. I've drawn him a little book with pictures about the bladder/bowels and how they talk to the brain, and how if we don't hear them it causes accidents. He's going barebutt at home and still has some bm's start to come out before he gets to the bathroom, so he does the clench maneuver to the toilet  He's doing better all around.. I just need consistancy, and he's not getting it being put in pullups when I've told them not to 
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 6/23/2008 11:16:59 AM
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pbaribeault
Posts: 1084
Joined: 4/29/2005
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I had this problem with my dd having accidents when wearing panties at Sunday school... other than that she was completely trained, but SS was very exciting for her, and they wanted her in pull-ups in case of accident. This was a no-go for me, because of the inconsistency & mixed message, like you are seeing in your situation.
Anyhow, we came to a compromise of putting plastic panties (elastic waist) with absorbent cloth inserts on over her panties for SS and other exciting situations (play dates etc.).
You could also do a cloth diaper (waterproof) over his underwear. This way he is 'diapered' without fear of (much) leakage in case of accident, which makes the staff more comfortable... but he doesn't see this as a diaper, but more as an article of clothing, and his underwear (and the rest of it) still get very noticeably wet if he 'goes'.
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 6/23/2008 11:17:25 AM
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manda59
Posts: 5744
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PoorlyKnitSweater
Well.. depending on whether the daycare wishes to help me out is whether he will be there until Preschool at the end of August.
Do you mean that you *could* have him home full-time from now till then? You know, I am not wanting to appear at all critical of your situation, because I imagine you are just trying to do what is right for your family and your situation, but to my mind toilet training works better if it's done at home, by a parent. If your circumstances *could* alllow you to be at home with him full-time, or at least part-time, it is likely that he will "get" it more quickly, as you would be able to provide the consistency that he's not getting at daycare.
And after all, it's not actually the daycare's responsibility to toilet train your child, it's yours (again, I am not meaning to appear critical here, just trying to speak plainly).
_____________________________
"I love Manda's suggestion to just laugh most of it off.."
Tinkerbell, September 2008
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 6/23/2008 3:34:03 PM
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PoorlyKnitSweater
Posts: 3
Joined: 2/23/2007
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I understand, but no.. circumstances do not allow me to be at home. If he doesn't remain there, he will have to go to my mother in law's. I've tried the undies with vinyl covers, as stated above, but they are so thick, and wetness doesn't really bother him unless it gets him all wet. If he has to go to grandma's house, it's not the end of the world. I just don't want to take him out of a routine for a couple months before embarking on a new one. It could do more harm than good.
I understand it is my responisibility.. that's why I've been doing it for well over a year. On the other side of that coin, however.. when you pay a daycare (in the business of watching children and preparing them for public school.. since people like me have to rely on others to raise our kids during the week, unfortunately) you expect a little more cooperation. I've spoken to other daycares that agree it's in the best interest of everybody, the kid especially, to get them toileting independantly asap. I know I might seem hasty.. but like I said I've been at it a lonnng time, and he's nearing 4. By putting him in a pullup at times I've requested them not to.. I'm fairly sure it's holding him back because one day he can pee and feel dry, the next he gets his clothes messed up.
This is such an inexpensive daycare, to help people, but it just has an unprofessional feel.. and sadly I've realized it too close to time for school to start, and I just kinda want him out, but need him a little more prepared, and I need their help to get out from their place. It's frustrating.
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 7/5/2008 10:43:52 PM
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drmomjoyce
Posts: 94
Joined: 11/9/2006
From: hamilton, canada via perth aust
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HI
im not sure if i can just jump in here but i will anyhow
I am the mother of a 4yo boy who spent almost 4 years in foster care until he came home to me a month before his 4th birthday. In his time in foster care he has had constipation issues - something i believe is extremely common to foster children (they cant control much in their lives so they try by controling what goes into and out of their bodies.)
So when he came home (oh and BTW i had been doing relief fostering for him for the past 2 years so he knew me pretty well) he occasionally would poo on the potty and he would pee on command ;) I never pushed potty training other than putting him on the pot 2-3 times a day. But the pooing thing was really going to be an issue as he would only poo when he was standing bolt upright. He was on a laxative which sometimes helped and sometimes didnt. There was no rhyme or reason about when he went poo. The only pattern was that every 3 days we would have awful days where he would need to go and couldnt and so would spend the entire day trying to poo (like every hour or so ) until about 5pm he would really need to go. The whinyness picked up about then accompanied by screaming, crying, .... Not a pretty time. I was really frustrated but then decided to jsut use the laxative every day and see how that went. Still wasnt too successful and he would need a supp every few days.
Then i started toilet training and really compounded the problem. The thing is he was so ready to be trained - he got it in a day and loved this new found toy - the toilet and of course the sink with running water which was soooo entertaining. But then the constipation problem went right out of control. I finally called the paediatrican - well her secretary who told me to up the laxative. That was really effective - now he has no control at all and i have poo running down his leg all over the floor. Finally i bit the bullet and called Goodness me - a natural medication place (oh the reason i avoided that before is that he is on meds for his heart and i didnt think that the natural stuff was drug tested enough and was wary giving it to my boy.)
Her advice was pro biotic and flaxseed. Well i am the happiest person these days. It still took a couple weeks but he is now off the laxative and on fibre (flaxseed) every day and the probiotic. It was the best 37 bucks i have ever spent. Instead of me controling his body with laxative and supps (which BTW he despised so much that he would often go blue as i was giving them), he now has control. And tonight for the first time he said he needed to go and promptly pooed on the dunny.
Sorry about my long windedness but i posted also so that if anyone is in the same boat with the constipation - this was my answer and i am sticking to it.
Joyce
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RE: The Potty Training Thread - 7/6/2008 9:59:41 PM
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delete123
Posts: 789
Joined: 6/1/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ladyichigo
My son is 2.5 years old. He wasn't really interested in the potty until just recently. We just bought a potty for him and decorated it with drawings of the things he likes and placed in next to the big potty. We have not forced him to sit on it. He knows what it's for. He sits on it with his diaper on every time he sees one of us using the restroom. He knows how to take his diaper off, but he just doesn't take it off when he "uses" his potty.
I wonder if we're taking the right steps for him to be potty-trained? 
Hi Mari~
I do the same with my son. Except he understands the concepts, and has only gone twice using it. But I usually get, "Momma WET!" instead of he needs to go.
The reason why I know he understands is when I had to sit with my mom for a few days, lol he scolded her when I had to change her. He pointed to her potty and said, "Pee!"
My main concern is he has a delayed digestive system, so worry about once I get the #1 achieved, what do I do about the #2 function. 
I know when I first brought the potty home it was a novelty (like a new toy.) Now everytime he automatically sits, but if he has to go, he removes the insert and wants to sit on the big potty.
Your son will catch on and will soon become routine for him.
I also try to get him to sit on it in the morning after his juice with no diaper, but beware, the toilet paper starts to disappear!
CRH
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