RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 5/30/2007 12:10:45 PM
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SENClander
Posts: 24
Joined: 5/28/2007
From: SouthEastenNorthCarolina
Status: offline
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There is nothing that will help until you decide to totally and completely commit yourself to God. Surrender completely to Him. You need to find another brother in Christ who will hold you accountable, ask the hard questions and pray for you. One of the best books I have read regarding this is Every Man's Battle, it was like I was reading about my life written by someone I didn't even know. And don't think this is a new problem for men, oh it is easier to get caught up in porn today because of the internet but is it as old as Job. Read Job 31:1. The NIV says it the best, "I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl." There are also accountability software available that you can load and will send a report to an accountability brother to assist in holding you accountable. But don't despair, remember God is in control and if you will yield yourself to Him and surrender to Him he will help you to overcome. That is how I had to overcome my desire to view porn. Will you be tempted, YES. But " Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." James 4:7-8 NASB
_____________________________
Having so fond an affection for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives. 1 Thessalonians 2:8
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 5/31/2007 11:53:46 AM
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mikle
Posts: 1
Joined: 5/31/2007
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I completely understand what you are going through. 1st, find an accountability partner. Someone who will be understanding, who has been through the same thing, who will keep you in check daily and last but not least someone who no problem letting you have it if you begin to backslide continuously. It helps if this person is a good friend, because after they let you have it they will pray and cry with you.
Also one of the most important sites for ANY kind of that I have found is http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/ . It is an awesome site that provides you with a online mentor and a 60 day course. We have a recovery program at our church and we use the lessons from Setting Captives Free as a guide line for our program. http://www.livingword.com/
If you need anything feel free to shoot me an email.
Michael
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 6/5/2007 1:15:37 AM
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SavedToo
Posts: 73
Joined: 4/12/2005
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What specific changes have you made?
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 6/16/2007 12:32:00 AM
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Marksman
Posts: 283
Joined: 6/7/2007
From: Drouin, Victoria, Australia
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I notice that most of the posts tell you how to get rid of the fruit, but do not deal with the root. In addition it seems that success is dependent on your own efforts. Maybe they work for some people, but I would be much happier addressing the root problem, which has nothing to do with the porn.
Most of these addictions, sex, porn, lust, alchohol, homosexuality, promiscuity etc. are the product of an emotional deficiency in childhood. In most cases, a sense of rejection by the primary carer. Until that is dealt with, a person is going to be burdened with their particular problem.
I had this experience myself and during some meetings I was prayed for to be delivered from rejection. I spent 30 minutes on the floor under the power of the Spirit as God healed me and set me free from rejection.
If you can find someone who has the faith to pray for you in this way, I am sure that the struggle will go as you find acceptance in God as his son. Whilst I was talking to God one day he said he was crazy about me. Now that is what I call acceptance. Wy do I need anything else?
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 7/6/2007 9:57:45 AM
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SinglenClean
Posts: 5
Joined: 7/4/2007
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I had a very strong addiction to porn, when I would look at it, I would get so charged up, I would turn my computer off, get in my car and go searching for a quick release, it would work, but the guilt and shame was so unbearable , I would think everyone that would see me, knew my dirty little secret,My 1st step into recovery was without being a true Christian, I admitted to myself that I have an addiction to Alcohol, I also have an addiction to drugs, those two were easy to admit to, but when I had to admit that I had an addiction to sex, my secret was out. It took me 5 more years to finally ask Jesus to help and I confessed my sins and become a new creature in Christ, through the nudging of the Holy Spirit I started ridding myself of the porn in my home, all movies, books, magazines, photos, then I went on my computer and started deleting all my porn photos in my photo files, Then as I kept getting e-mails from porn sites, I went into my mail management and blocked their addresses, sometimes I would go to my profile on the web sites, I deleted my profiles, ended on my subscriptions to yahoo, google and msn groups,all the time Jesus was standing close by me so I didn't stay too long at the fair, Then I deleted all my x-rated porn buddies out of my address/contact lists, I found that I had porn hidden all over my apartment, hidden in books, boxes, drawers, files, in my computer I had so many places I had it hidden, I think I've cleaned them all out and there's another file I missed because it was hidden, Then I tossed out all my CD's of porn in the trash bin, Trust me they were of no use to anyone, I took a hammer to them and p-ut holes in them before tossing them, So, to sum it up I feel you should
1. Give your life over to Jesus and be born again
2. Ask Jesus to be with you when you're getting rid of your porn
3. Ask a Christian brother to be with you to support you and make sure you don't stay too long at the fair
4. It's all or nothing,rid yourself of Hard/Soft porn, cancel all yourr subscriptions to porn sites, and block the addresses.
5. Be praising Jesus the whole time thanking him for protecting and guiding you through the process
Well that's how I did it, I've not been in a video arcade in over 2 years, I lost the desire of lurking around in the darkness, I want to stay in the Light of Jesus.
God Bless You,
Rich
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 7/8/2007 10:38:40 PM
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jk99
Posts: 29
Joined: 5/24/2005
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There are a few problems that make this a problem for you and all the other men out there that unfortunately creates some serious challenges. Here they are to make a short list.
1) it’s a personal and private sin making it a un-seen sin which requires your willingness to stand up to it, this can be very difficult to fight because you will struggle with this silently believing it won’t really affect you, but my friend it can and will over time.
2) Many people will struggle with it (your sin) this only makes it more difficult to fight. You will need to pick your support very carefully.
3) Accessibility to pornography is far too easy today. Once you needed to make a concentrated effort to view porno now it is brought conveniently to the secret corners of your room.
4) Because others struggle with it (and they themselves keep it a secret) the truth is very few will understand your issues or you may find it difficult to find sincere support….BUT YOU WILL FIND SURPORT. YOU MUST TRY AND ACTIVELY SEEK IT.
My first suggestion to you is when you decided to come clean (and please do it soon, the sooner the better) be very careful how you present the information to others.
Many say they will want to support you but some may find it difficult to stomach.
Mankind seems to struggle with sins they themselves don’t understand. (Note # 3) on the below list.
For the sake of discretion I would strongly advise you to go about it in the following couple of ways listed below.
1) Read some of the following articles it may help you to understand the path one can be lead down.
http://www.family.org/lifechallenges/A000000208.cfm
2) Contact a counselor at focus on the family. They have support for guys like you. Just explain how old you are and that you need to speak to someone who can help you with pornography addition. Here are the numbers.
(800) 232-6459. The toll line is (719) 531-5181.
This organization has a ministry regarding pornography. You can be anonymous and you should ask them for what advice you should proceed with. Have a sheet of paper and a pen for anything you might need to write down. When you first call ask to speak to someone about on-line pornography addiction.
3) Because your sin can be quite challenging for some people remember you should consider you words carefully when you tell others. You don’t and I would offer advice and suggest you keep your honesty to what is important (THE MAIN POINTS ONLY.). For example when you decide to expose this sin keep it to the basics. For example some men visit certain sites that cater to certain deviancies….etc.
The truth is your dirty little details is not what needs to be exposed making you feel worse than you already feel it’s the act of viewing pornography that needs to be exposed. It will be challenging enough for you to admit it without being dragged through the mud more than you have to.
4) find help.... it may seem like others are unreachable or you may feel uncomfortable but believe me they should be in your camp. there is help out there.
5) As far as filters….ahh I’m not always to greatest supporter of these because pornography sites have worked ways around these and quite often you have to type in the websites to block them which means you have to visit them first. The best way honestly is to have a program that monitors web behavior so someone else can view your activities. (That’s accountability) and keep the computer in a public place. Where everyone in your family can see each others activities.
I posted this on another post.....just changed it a little.
good luck.
jk
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 7/31/2007 12:46:19 PM
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harry41
Posts: 1
Joined: 7/30/2007
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It is possible to quit porn for everyone that earnestly desires to follow Christ. I was once a homosexual prostitute addicted to everything bad for me. Today 20 years after being saved I am heterosexual, I have no hint of sexual immorality amongst me, I have made a covenant with my eyes and brain with the Lord to never look upon a beautiful woman in lustfulness. Praying can only get you so far. One day you must take the responsibility to quit. When you take full responsibility and love God out of His love for you, you will suceed in eliminating even a hint of sexual immorality amongst you. That includes masturbation. Bless you brother.
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 7/31/2007 5:09:46 PM
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Pauley464
Posts: 516
Joined: 7/29/2007
From: Washington, Indiana
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I haven't read all of the posts on this thread yet but I am a recovered porn addict. This worked for me.
First, I made sure that I had given my entire life to God. Not just letting him into part of me but all of me entirely. I let him shine His light on the reasons that I turned to porn for my comfort and not Him. Then I took responsibility for my eyes and mind. I got rid of my computer. I didn't just put on a filter, I completely removed it from my home. I also got rid of my television, because most of television programming is sexually oriented. As Wall Street says, "Sex sells." I quit taking magazines, especially Sports Illustrated, because of the swim suit issue, No looking at catalogs. The lingerie section can be a trigger. I quit driving past the video store. I might be tempted to go in. I took a different route specfically to avoid going past. With the help of God to reveal all of my triggers, I completely and utterly eliminated them from my life and home.
Then I went to church and sought out an older and wiser, more experienced man to hold me accountable. Fortunately, he had already fought the same battle in his own life and succeeded, so he knew what I was going through and didn't condemn me for my addiction. He called me on a regular basis to make sure I wasn't slipping or falling down. He prayed with me studied the Bible with me so I would have my mind filled with good things and not allow the filth to come back.
It wasn't easy and it didn't happen quickly. I also fell down alot. There were even times when I got frustrated and wanted to give up, but my friends and accountability partner didn't give up on me.
Trust God for your strength and not yourself and lean on your friends as well.
God Bless
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 7/31/2007 8:01:49 PM
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epitome
Posts: 70
Joined: 2/10/2006
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first you realy have to want to.
next you realy have to know that if you can take another breath.
that God telling you he has given you another chance at it.
so ask his help and every breath you take is Gods promise of another chance,
Gods blessings
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/2/2007 8:19:05 AM
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DKnowles
Posts: 12
Joined: 7/26/2006
From: A corn field
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I would recomend taking a hobby. I asked the lord, on what I could do, and I found RP. RP is role playing, a type of story telling, I felt as if he was wanting me to take that path. That was over a year of more. Now, I have opened my own RP christian site.
My advice, seek the lord. He used my problem, and the way out, to help further me. Truthfully, I probably wouldn't be as good a writer, if I hadn't had the addiction, and the lord telling me to focus on something else, and giving me a way out. Other then that, I would agree on the suggestions of filters, and having your family invovled. Just, don't throw your computer out the window, that is a last resort, and even then, sell it.
_____________________________
God will give you the chance. It is up to you to take it!
Join us at Walk of Faith RP.
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/2/2007 5:31:45 PM
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ElucidaLearning
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Joined: 8/2/2007
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Don't feel like you're the only one in this situation. A recent survey showed that nearly 50% of Christian men and 20% of Christian women admit that they are struggling with an addiction to pornography! Of course, those percentages are only representative of the individuals who participated in the survey, but it's still pretty alarming! There's no way to know exactly how many people there are. It doesn't matter though. There is currently software available to you that will monitor your internet activity, and give a report. Not to get you in trouble, but to keep you accountable. Check out http://www.covenanteyes.com/
As mentioned, xxxchurch.com is another great resource.
Also,
*self promotion time*, Elucida Learning is currently in producing a toolkit to help individuals who are struggling with sexual addictions of this sort to find freedom from its stronghold! You wouldn't believe some of the emails we get from counselors! There is hope though! Don't let yourself get discouraged. I'd encourage you to find a counselor! We have a directory available as well. Definitely check out the site, and just look around if nothing else. www.elucidalearning.com
As far as seeking help... hopefully, if you're involved in a church you should have no problem at least findind someone to talk to. However, many times church counselors or pastors are ill equipped to really help you out long term. We're really excited about the kit to further train church leaders and counselors on how to help people who are struggling. Here's the link to the promo we just tossed up on YouTube to see how the response is from the "public".
Promo 1
I hope, that if nothing else, you feel encouraged and can find some hope in all of these posts.
Lastly, be transparent about it. Be open. If you're feeling shame, it's because you're probably afraid someone will find out... or worry what people will think. Anyone that loves you will only lift you up and help you out, so you don't have to worry at all! It's all about baby steps. God is your strength, and He will stand by your side.
< Message edited by ElucidaLearning -- 8/2/2007 5:50:36 PM >
_____________________________
http://www.freedombeginshere.com
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/7/2007 6:59:09 PM
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caboosem1
Posts: 2
Joined: 8/7/2007
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Two things will help you with this. One is the SINCERE want to change. Not just the words but the action. I know, I've been there and it nearly killed my marriage before it began. Second and most importantly is find someone else who is also strugling and seek encouragement from them. Be brother in Christ and keep each other from stumbling. There is nothing better than having someone else who knows how these urges feel and can help you through the when the Spirit of Jezebelle rears her ugly soot covered head. I hope this helped.
Caboosem1
(James)
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/8/2007 7:57:46 AM
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Kofi2007
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Joined: 7/30/2007
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Well first of all that name, the LOST traveller
is a cause for satan to try to veer u off what God
has purposed in your life.
You know? sometimes what we say abt ourselves is what we
end up believing.
So if u say u are lost, you can do this, do that, i dont know
u sensitise your Godly spirit within, and that's when the devil
try to manipulate.
Be strong in your affirmation and declarations and pray ceaselessly
abt it. Go before God and just let it all out, confess to Him
and let Him know how hard you are finding it to stop this habit
and that you NEED HIS help. Invite Him into your heart and life.That guiding grace.
All in prayer!!!!
And believe me you will be THEFOUND&SAVEDTRAVELLER.
God bless!
_____________________________
I got Jesus
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/10/2007 2:32:04 PM
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terryjohn
Posts: 445
Joined: 3/23/2007
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What occurred to me was that in all that goes with being addicted to porn, was that we are not really looking for sexual stimulation in life but rather true love. A love that last a life time; a love that drives me to go home as soon as I can every night after work to be with my family; a love that empowers me into the day of suffering and pain; a love that restores my shattered dreams day after day, a love that encourages me to be all I can be in Christ, a love that strengthens me when satan comes calling, a love that drives the fear that haunts me when I am alone; a love the angers me when I see in justice and evil; a love that overpowers the sin in my life and a love that says not how can I use you, but rather how can I help you?
I fear no woman can provide us with such love and God never intended them to supplant the need for His love. Nevertheless, it should be every man's dream of finding a Godly, loving, righteous, caring woman as it too must be for every woman to find similar men of God.
In the end, all addictions are simply our response to our inability to cope with other matters in life, hence, we would be better off facing the issues as men of strength, honour, dignity, courage, honesty and love rather than simply treating the symptoms or even worse aggravating the symptoms by giving into temporal distractions of the flesh. If we need sex and not love then we are nothing and like beasts. Are we really happier with the bird in the cage and not happier to set it free?
Yesterday I met a woman that was obviously addicted to drugs, alcohol and sex and she actually told me, a total stranger, that her problem was loneliness. Perhaps I should have asked her if she would give it all up if she could find the perfect love of her life. As men I guess we all need to ask ourselves what will we give up for Christ? I think porn never satisfies like all drugs for it never controls the emptiness and never helps us overcome the loneliness but simply scratches at what are simply symptoms of loneliness, self pity and unloving attitudes to others.
In the end I can say it is only when I began to see women through he eyes of Christ every thing that bound me began fall away. Porn is nothing, drugs are nothing, alcohol is nothing but Christ is everything. Go looking for love not sex, go looking for righteousness and honour not self pity and self degradation. Fall in love for we don't need sex, we need love!
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/11/2007 2:41:20 AM
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FlashAce
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Joined: 10/26/2006
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quote:
In the end I can say it is only when I began to see women through he eyes of Christ every thing that bound me began fall away.
That is a major part of it. Those women are God's daughters and if it were your own daughter then you would understand why God despises that trash.
_____________________________
Who among them can show us the http://www.formerthings.com
Isaiah 43
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/13/2007 3:55:55 PM
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ElucidaLearning
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Joined: 8/2/2007
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I posted a link to a little snippet of content from a video series that will be released late 2007 / early 2008 to help individuals that are struggling with sexual addictions. However, that link is no longer active, here's the new one... link 1 Should be safe for work, the content is not inappropriate (but they do talk about sexual addiction and pornography, so you may not want to have your speakers blairing).
I really hope seeing that there is soon to be content such as this available brings you hope. It's not an impossible battle at all. As I also mentioned, there are programs such as covenanteyes.com and XXXchurch offers a lot of great material.
Along with that, check out the link in my sig. Freedom Begins Here is the name of the series that will soon be released. The feature segments that are available now feature Dr. Gary Smalley and his church pastor Ted Cunningham. Dr. Smalley has written several books on marriage and family, and Ted has such a passion for people struggling with these addictions, it's truly amazing. Also, there is a segment featuring CCM artist Clay Crosse. His talks about his own struggle with sexual addiction.
Man, I've really been getting into some forums lately and the encouragement people are offering to guys that are dealing with this stuff is just awesome. I'd definitely like to commend everyone that's posted in all of these threads about "porn" in the Men Only section... there is definitely a war going on, and unfortunately it's not the topic most peole want to talk about openly. Forums are a safe place (most of the time) to seek encouragement. So, definitely continue to encourage one another, be more open and transparent about it... They don't call it "every mans struggle" for nothing...
I posted another thread that got deleted because I guess a mod took it as spam. I'm wasn't trying to spam, just to encourage people to find hope in even the smallest things. Not to mention I'm excited about the content these series will feature once they're released. There is so much porn around the net today, it will be nice to have something on the other end of the spectrum to help fight it.
_____________________________
http://www.freedombeginshere.com
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/28/2007 1:59:48 AM
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JNATTE4CHRIST
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Joined: 8/27/2007
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you are not alone i to struggle with lust, we just need to pray for gods help and try to focus our minds on all that is good, i have come a long way, but i still struggle, god is our helper, we need to learn how to control our thoughts, our minds are our own, we should not alow the devil to control them. only with god can we do this, porn and lust you will no longer torment my mind, in jesus name amen
_____________________________
LIFE IS SHORT AND SOON WILL PASS, ONLY WHAT IS DONE FOR CHRIST WILL LAST!
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 8/28/2007 3:55:32 AM
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kkthxby3
Posts: 14
Joined: 8/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RatherDashing
Briefly reading the songs of Solomon lately has really emancipated my feelings concerning the whole sexual aspect of addiction. I would recommend doing the same. It truly brings about an additional, fresh, light of hope in waiting.
Walk everyday. Begin to notice God and His creation more. Of how the birds sing so harmoniously, the trees swaying in perfect sync, and as the flowers unearth their splendour with each blossom. He loves it, I promise you.
quote:
ally emancipated my feelings concerning the whole sexual aspect of addiction. I would recommend doing the same. It truly brings about an additional, fresh, light of hope in waiting.
Walk everyday. Begin to notice God and His creation more. Of how the birds sing so harmoniously, the trees swaying in perfect sync, and as the flowers unearth their splendour with each blossom. He loves it, I promise you.
/agree
The Sons of Solomon really hit a note with me too... Even the last few verses of Proverbs, I think it was, the description of the wife... These writings make you aspire for something more, something real and lasting.
And ever since really reading the Bible, I've been noticing so much more of God's work in just the environment around me whenever I'm driving my car or outside. My whole point of view has changed greatly and one of the greatest changes, which I'm most grateful for, is that God is constantly on my mind and because of that, His opinion matters greatly.
So with sex or porn, anything of that nature, it is impure and unholy. The Lord doesn't want to bear witness of that or be near it, especially when He sees it ensnare His youth. So knowing He's here with me, and I wanna keep that way, I give greater thought to things.
_____________________________
SmokersUnion.com
Myspace
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RE: how do i stop looking at porn PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! - 9/21/2007 5:04:32 AM
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Bibleman7
Posts: 239
Joined: 11/26/2006
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Dear brothers,
Watching pornography is 1 of 6 forms of fornication. The bible clearly condemns fornicators. I will mention all of them. Please read and avoid pornography. Best solution=prayer.
1. pre-martial sex
2. adultery
3. prostitution
4. watching pornography
5. sexual fantasies
6. looking at women with lust
< Message edited by Bibleman7 -- 9/22/2007 6:30:23 PM >
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I had been living in a lie for many yrs. Those are powerful lies,yet, God is more powerful and He has sent His Son to carry our burdens... that is the truth we must hold on to. Some day it is crying eyes out, some other day it is easier. I cannot give you good advise because I'm struggling myself but I'll be there with you and I know how it is. Secondly, If u are from the states use the material&counselling and everything possible christian help you can get. I come from Finland with a population of just over 5million ppl, so here it is quite a lonely battle. Just keep praying&attached to His Word and remember to live this moment and day by day... Do not think you will be saved from this devastating sin someday or that you cannot hold it for a lifetime... God gives you all the power you need for the day! Do not be in despair for tomorrow "34. Be not therefore anxious for the morrow: for the morrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof". 
