|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
Teton Rambler - 7/6/2005 4:02:28 PM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
|
Hi everybody. 
When I went on my hiatus this past March (back when we were just Crosswalk and not as we are now - Faith Community), I let my blog lapse into archivedom.
There's a 3-month waiting period for people with archived blogs to be able to blog again.
Initially, I had intended to reactivate this blog mid-June . . . but of course, during mid-June other things were happening of greater importance. Click Here
So!!! Here I am again, with my own blog. Currently, I live out in the shadows of the majestic Grand Tetons in the Beautiful Wild Wild West of Wyoming; hence the title of this blog . . . which also is the title of a newsletter I've been writing for the past 4 years.
As with my other blog, I'll use this space for my newsletters (that are actually snail-mailed to my offline friends here, there and everywhere). I'm sure I'll also talk about the beauty of where I live. And, most probably, I'll also share with y'all some of the various ramblin' thoughts that zing into my head from time to time.
I hope you enjoy your visits to my little corner of this beautiful world that our Abba has created for us.
HIS Peace and HIS Joy,
Sharon-Marie
< Message edited by karlie -- 1/3/2007 1:15:11 PM >
|
|
|
|
RE: Teton Rambler - 7/7/2005 10:37:08 AM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
|
CS Paints His Toenails
. . . or rather, CS lets me paint his toenails. 
We had been dating only about 3 weeks. That night we had been invited to a going-away party for one of my friends. He came to pick me up and I was "almost" ready.
I was in the midst of painting my toenails . . . and I looked up at him . . . and smiled. 
"Sweetie, can I paint your toenails?"
"Well, I guess so. Sure! Why not?!"
During the infamous pedicure, we're laughing with each other and making all kinds of silly comments.
I tell him that we're going to hafta remember to remove the polish before the weekend (which was to be our very first Mountain Man Rendezvous together; he had been several times; I never had).
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I'm sure, over the next couple of days, CS was "reminded" about his pretty pink toenails every time he was putting his socks and shoes on . . . but somehow, neither one of us remembered to actually remove the stuff.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
So, we're at the Ft Bridger Mountain Man Rendezvous; one of the largest, if not the largest annual event of its kind.
It's the 2nd day that we're there (although really, the 1st full day as we arrived the evening before). We had been walking around the renedezvous for several hours; CS in his mountain-man regalia; me in a black tank top and jeans (cuz back then, I was a newbie rookie and didn't have the "proper" attire).
We see a stream and decide to take our respective beaded moccasins and birkenstocks off and cool our feet in the water.
. . . OH!!!   The look on both of our faces when we saw that first size 13 foot with 5 pretty little (or rather not so little) splotches of pink!!!
I wanted to crawl under a rock; hide behind a tree, spontaneously lift off in flight . . . anything that would get me away. I was just sure that CS was going to at least be embarassed and put his moccasin back on and forgoe the cooling refreshing lil stream. I was also feeling chagrinned that I had not remembered to remove the blasted stuff.
But instead of becoming upset, CS started laughing . . . and then I started laughing . . . and pretty soon, we were both laughing so hard that we're holding onto each other because neither one of us could stand up very well.
He then shrugs his shoulders, makes cute eyes at me (and then gives me a hug and a peck on the cheek), takes off his other moccasin, stretches out his feet in the water, flashes me a big smile and offers me a hand and helps me sit down next to him.
Then, being the photog man that he was, he takes out his camera and takes a picture to commemorate the occasion.
The cream topping was when these 3 little girls who had been playing nearby in the stream noticed this manly, bearded individual, dressed in mountain-man regalia, wearing bright fuschia pink toenail polish. The looks on their faces were absolutely priceless!
--Edited to correct too many typos! 
< Message edited by whiteroseblessings -- 7/7/2005 10:54:15 AM >
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teton Rambler - 7/10/2005 10:40:53 AM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
|
Rambling Thoughts . . .
"Items-Request" Etiquette 101
If someone you know dies, and you would like something of theirs (either something specific or just "something"), please do not immediately start bombarding the widow or widower (or parent, etc.) of the deceased loved one with your requests. Please allow them time . . . more time . . . and even more time before you bring the subject up of what "you want."
Better yet, please allow them the opportunity to make the offer to you; rather than you making the request to them. Again, this will take time . . . please be compassionate and patient.
Please do not live in the mentality of, "I've got to ask early because I want to be the first in line; I really want "this". You will have the rest of your life to enjoy whatever object it is that you are wanting. The spouse, however, has just lost their soulmate; they will never again be able to enjoy the physical company, friendship and presence of the one they love. In the grand scheme of things . . . things are just things; it's people who matter.
And speaking of time . . . it's not a matter of days or even a couple of weeks. I'm guessing, at the minimum, 2-4 months would be needed before people begin the process of, "This is what I want." The stuff that you want is not going to go anywhere in that time period. To be approached, however politely, with what people want when it's only been a few days, a couple of weeks, etc. is almost dehumanizing to the surviving spouse. It feels quite "vulture-istic." It is, in fact, exceedingly painful.
Additionally, if you absolutely have to voice your wants "early on" at least please do so directly to the spouse and not "secretly" to other people. Please do not call, phone or write to a friend of the spouse. That puts the friend in a very awkward position and just intensifies painful feelings for the surviving spouse. I would suggest if a person feels uncomfortable asking the spouse for whatever it is they want, that perhaps they ought to go with those feelings and realize that it may be because the timing is too soon.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Buyer Responsibility . . . (specifically regarding self-employed / sole propietors)
If you have a business relationship with a sole propietor, please do not automatically assume that the spouse is an "employee" of the business.
Please do be aware that if the business owner dies, the spouse may not know the intricacies of the business. (If I had died before CS, he wouldn't know the first thing about how I run and operate either one of my businesses. Likewise, I do not know how CS ran his business).
If you have long-time outstanding projects with a sole propietor and the reason lies with your not getting around to placing the order, picking up the project, etc., please do not expect the surviving spouse to be able to help you "immediately."
Also, if your business relationship is with any type of artist, please remember that if the artist dies, noone is going to be able to do the work they did exactly as they did it. (CS personally developed and brown-toned all his sepia photos). Waiting until after the artist dies to have something done by them just doesn't seem to make sense to me.
Specifically concerning the photo business . . .
If you have photos taken, please order your prints in a timely fashion. 3 years, even 1 year is not a timely fashion. If you want the pictures, make it a priority in your current life to order them - as soon you are notified that the proofs are ready.
I've been approached twice so far by people, now that CS has died, wanting to hurry up and place orders for pictures of long-past photo shoots. Frankly, it's just not a priority right now. (In these instances, I have asked people to write me a letter detailing the specifics of the when, where, etc. I have also told them it will be several months down the road before I even begin to address these projects). The entire process is stressful.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
OK . . . so these were rants; not ramblings.
BUT!!!  I'm ok; truly I am. Just processing things . . .
Thanks, y'all!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teton Rambler - 7/10/2005 11:41:27 AM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
|
Those First 12 Hours
I usually wake up anywhere between 5:00 and 6:30 each morning. Normally, CS would wake up around 8am. When I'd hear him in the kitchen (feeding the cat), I'd go in to greet him, and we would start our day.
Then he started sleeping till 9am. Then, till 10am.
The day before he died, CS slept till 2pm.
June 13, 2005; 7am
"Wow; he's up early!"
I go into the kitchen and said something to the effect of his being up early. He replied to the effect of making up for lost time from the day before.
Retrospectively, he was behaving strangely. He wouldn't make eye contact with me.
CS then went over to the coat rack and put on one of his jackets.
He told me where he was going. It was one of his and our favorite spots for quiet time. Sometimes he'd go alone; sometimes he'd ask me to go with him. We would just sit next to each other and enjoy the surroundings . . . in peaceful silence.
I asked him if he wanted some company and he said no. I must have look astonished at his tone because he softened and said, "I just need to be by myself."
He came over and hugged me and kissed me, told me that he loved me and always would. He looked into my eyes and then hugged me one more time.
I told him to enjoy his quiet time and he gave me a strange look and walked out the door.
That was the last time I saw him alive. He left the house around 7:15am; they found his body at 7:37am.
Around 9am, I was getting a bit worried; even if he had stopped for a quick cup of coffee or had ran into someone and stopped to chat, he should have been back by now.
During the next hour, 3 times I started to get on my bike and go look for him. And 3 times, Abba gently distracted me from my mission; twice I got phone calls and once Misty started demanding my attention. God was protecting me from seeing something He didn't want me to see.
At 10am, I was debating whether or not to call a friend and have him come get me so we could go find CS.
A few minutes later, I see 3 people walking up to my door. It was the coroner, a deputy sheriff and a victim advocate.
You know, they have scenes in tv shows and movies where the coroner knocks on someone's door. I never fully appreciated the gravity of it until June 13th. I don't even think I can adequately articulate it. Even now, I cannot think or speak of it without crying and remembering those awful first moments and ensuing hours.
I called Jack, and then I called CS's brother. Then someone called my pastor. All 3 came. Jack called Bob, CS's best friend. His wife had to drive out to his worksite to tell him. He came right over as soon as he heard. Throughout the day, many other people came and went; several stayed for quite a while. It's kind of a blur. So many people calling on the phone, coming by in person, bringing stuff.
At one point, CS's brother and CS's best friend took me up to the mortuary so I could see and be with CS. Even when I saw him, it just wouldn't register as being real. I just knew that any minute I was going to wake up and everything was going to be back to normal . . . and CS and I would be together.
Around 7pm that same day, I look at the clock . . . and realized that it had been 12 hours since CS left the house. And then I realized that every since we had first started dating back in 2002, we had never been apart for 12 hours. This was the first time we had ever been apart that long. It was a very hard reality for me to comprehend.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I sure these past two posts may have some of y'all worrying about me. Truly, I'm ok. I'm just getting things out of my head.
Thanks for reading!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teton Rambler - 7/10/2005 12:36:34 PM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
|
. . . and now it's time for an encouraging post; a post about Abba's Love and Protection and Promises! . . .
Be Not Afraid
Be Not Afraid
I go before you always.
Come follow Me
and I will give you Rest.
. . . So, as I mentioned, CS left the house around 7:15am on that fateful day.
As background information, about 2-3 weeks before CS died, I had begun exploring my Catholic roots. I had started going to Daily Mass, but the mornings were getting really hard for CS and I didn't want to leave him alone in the mornings, so I decided to stop going to Daily Mass.
About the time that I started my "Catholic Root Exploration," Abba reminded me of one of my very favorite childhood songs, "Be Not Afraid" (here's the link to the entire song - http://members.cox.net/rss1910/blessing.html - you may need to highlight your screen in order to be able to see the words clearly) And of course, you can also read Joshua 1:9.
So off and on for the next couple of weeks, a line or two from the song would pop into my head.
After CS left the house that morning, I decided to go to Daily Mass. I put a note on the door, telling him where I had gone and asking him to pick me up at 8:30am. My plan was to take him out to breakfast afterwards.
But, of course, he never came. In fact, what I didn't know at the time, was that even before I had gotten on the bus to go to church, CS had already died.
So, after waiting at the church for a few minutes, I decide to walk home (as opposed to taking the bus - because I thought we might pass each other). At one point, I became so completely fearful. What CS did was actually a very real fear I had - and whenever the fear would crop up, I would give it to Jesus. So, I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and prayed, "Jesus, I give you this fear and I ask you to absolutely take anything that isn't of You away and to completely fill me and saturate me with everything that is of You."
I continue my walk, and within about a minute, I started singing the entire song, "Be Not Afraid." I was singing it through the 2nd time when, once again, I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.
I suddenly knew that I was not singing a worship song to God; but rather Abba was singing to me! I knew that I knew that I knew this. (Besides, I was singing on key and in tune - definitely not a Sharon-Marie thing! )
At that time, I thought that perhaps God was telling me that the doctors were going to find something in the blood tests that CS was scheduled to take later that week. So, I said, "Well, God, you're telling me to trust you and to not be afraid and that I am going to be ok. Whatever it is, we'll get through this."
So I continued my walk home - still looking for CS along the way. When I got home and saw the truck, my heart just sank. I felt the hood of the truck and it was cold. I walked to the door, and the note was still there.
So, I started praying. And doing dishes. And praying. And finishing a calligraphy project. And praying.
And then the coroner came.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I mentioned before that I am realizing and walking through one of the very worst fears and quite possibly the most painful experience I've ever had.
I misss CS terribly. I feel as if I have literally been ripped apart. The "why" of what happened will never be answered this side of Heaven (and quite frankly, I'm sure it will be a moot point then) - so I try very hard to not ponder the "why" of it - there's just no good purpose in it.
God tells us that we are to trust Him. We are to look to Him as our source of Strength; we are to look to Him for our Peace and our Comfort and our Joy. He is to be our Guidance. It is His Wisdom that we seek after.
Walking home that morning, Abba knew what I would encounter that day and the days following (and even the days following this one). He knew it would be hard for me. But He told me as deeply as God does tell us things to not be afraid; to trust in Him.
So I do. I get up in the morning and I try to remember to give the day to Him. He reminds me many times throughout the day to not be afraid. Yes, this is a command; but it is a command of encouragement! "Don't be afraid, Sharon-Marie; I'm right here with you; I will not leave you; you are going to be ok."
Is it easy? Yes, sometimes it is . . . AND . . . No, sometimes, it's not. Is it pain-free? Nope; absolutely not. Am I always able to remember His Encouragement? Frankly, no . . . but then He's very glad to remind me as often as I need.
Every day, I can see His Hand in my life. I can see how He is leading me through this abysss. I can see and feel His Love . . . through the beautiful days; through a hug from a friend; through a kindness shown to me; through laughter that hasn't died but is still within me; through friends allowing me to help them with their daily struggles; through the innocent eyes of babies; through the many cards and phone calls and emails; through even being able to sit at the coffee shop and just be by myself in the midst of friends. HIS Love is surrounding me, enveloping me and totally saturating me.
And in the darkest times, when all I can do is just cry . . . even then, I know that I am going to be ok and that Jesus loves me.
How do I know this? Because he tells me so. And because He does tell me so, I choose to believe Him.
HIS Peace and HIS Joy, y'all!
Sharon-Marie
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teton Rambler - 7/17/2005 10:45:06 PM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
|
Uhm, Thank You . . . I guess
I really do understand that people do not know what to say when they encounter someone who is grieving. Truly I do.
For quite some time now (years), I've maintained that if a person doesn't know what to say (in any situation; not just grieving - but maybe especially grieving), it's always best not to say anything.
Telling someone, "You know I just don't know what to say" is perfectly acceptable . . . and much more appreciated than trying to "come up" with something to say.
Hugs say more than any words can convey (more on hugs in the following post)
Most people have the hang of this . . . not saying something rather than saying something, uhm, strange, weird, even downright inappropriate.
Some people, however, still haven't quite grasped the "silence-is-golden" concept.
Strangely enough, when certain people don't know what to say (and also don't know not to say anything), they tend to focus on a person's looks . . . at least that seems to be the majority of what I have experience lately from well-meaning but not-so-clearly-thinking individuals.
"Wow! You look SO good. I mean you REALLY look good."
The surprise in their voice always throws me off. The emphasis in their words amuse me while I silently wonder if, at other times, I look REALLY bad . . . 
"Why do you look so good right now?"
Huh??? Well, lessee, hmmm, I'm not sure. Why? Am I not allowed to "look good" right now?
I walk away from such encounters wondering if people think I'm supposed to be wearing sack cloths and ashes. (According to Scriptures, I'm not. )
Yes, I am grieving.
Yes, I miss CS terribly. Deeply. Excrutiatingly so.
I cry until I think I have cried my body completely dry.
I cry until I literally cannot breathe.
I cry until, at that particular time, I do not need to cry anymore.
And then I wipe my tears, wash my face and go on with my life.
For you see, I am still living.
With everything in me, I also wish that CS was still living; but he's not.
But I am still alive and I intend to live my life. That means that sometimes I will need to cry; sometimes I will need to laugh. I do what I need to do - when I need to do it. And I get up every day and get dressed. I comb my hair and brush my teeth and go out to meet my day. Some days I may look REALLY good; some days I probably don't (but then, that's pretty much me anyway; even when CS was alive).
But please don't expect me to "put on" mourning for you. Please take me as you get me.
(I never thought I'd feel "guilty" for "looking good.")
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teton Rambler - 7/17/2005 10:50:51 PM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
|
. . . and now, let's have a Happy Post! . . .
{ { { Hugs } } }
While I was up at Town Square this past Saturday morning, a friend of mine tapped me on the shoulder and gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. As we were still hugging, I felt another tap on my shoulder and heard, "my turn." I looked to see another friend of mine who also gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.
I've known these guys for about 2 years now; I met them both through CS (and I think they both know each other; it just occurred to me, I really don't know and I forgot to take the time to introduce the two of them - oops  ).
This past Saturday morning, they were both very much Heaven-sent; I was having quite a difficult time at the very moment I ran into these two men.
I thanked them both for the hugs. They started discussing how people should hug more; especially when someone is going through a crisis.
Of course, I wholeheartedly agreed and then jokingly said that until more people starting hugging that they would just have to hug twice as much.
. . . So they each hugged me and kissed me on my cheek again - both at the same time . . . which made all 3 of us laugh.
We all 3 then went our separate ways.
I don't know about them, but I sure was feeling happier . . . and very loved.
Thank You, Jesus.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teton Rambler - 7/19/2005 12:12:52 PM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
|
Just some Ramblings . . .
Lil Miss Ellie
Ellie is one of my neighbors. She's about 3 years old now. She's a very happy, joyous child - and she's also a very gentle, obedient little girl.
She absolutely loved CS. Whenever she'd see him, she run up to him, with her arms spread wide, grinning from ear-to-ear and calling his name.
He'd always pick her up and give her big hugs and kisses. Then they'd spend a few minutes chatting - she telling him everything she had learned since the last time they saw each other, and he listening very intently and encouragingly to what she was saying and popping in a question every now and then.
Even when we were out and about, if Ellie saw CS, she was gonna run up to him; expecting him to swoop her up in his arms . . . and he always did.
About a week ago, I saw Ellie's mom out in her yard and went over to talk to her. She told me that Ellie had been asking about CS . . . she (Ellie) had been seeing me, but not CS. Her mom told her that CS had to leave, but that she (Ellie) should always think good thoughts about him and should always remember the fun memories she had of CS and that she should also always remember how much CS loved her.
. . . Yesterday, as I was on my way to catch a bus, I saw Ellie and her parents. They were getting ready to go do family stuff; in fact, they were already in their truck and Lil Miss Ellie was safely buckled in. As they saw me approaching, they turned the truck's engine off and waved me over. As I was talking to Ellie's parents, she started grinning and holding her arms out real wide. I said, "Hi, Ellie; how are you today?" She responded by grinning at me (with her arms still wide) and said, "I love CS."
. . . (Yeah, Sweet Ellie; so do I. Thank you for loving CS. You were such a joy to him.)
Just a sweet little gift our Lord gave me yesterday.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jackson Hole
and
"Sunset Magazine"
He told me about it a couple of months ago. (Actually, he told both CS and me.)
I even put it on my calendar . . . and then subscribed to "Sunset" so we would be sure to get a copy. For the past week, I have been checking my post office box in a most hopeful manner. My copy still hasn't arrived yet; but the magazines are now out on the newstand (the August 2005 issue).
"Sunset" was in Jackson a couple of months ago to showcase, well, Jackson - and all the splendors that it offers.
One of the showcases just happens to be "my" coffee shop!  Yep, the coffee shop where CS and I met (although, at the time, the business -not the building- was at a different location); the coffee shop where CS and I got married last year; the very same coffee shop where I've put in so much bar stool time these past 3½ years.
It's a great picture! It's on page 111, I think.
That guy standing up on the porch? That's Jack! He's the owner. He's also one of my very good friends. (He's the one, btw, that so lovingly "scandalized" me during CS's memorial service - remember? I said it was going to be one of my favorite memories of that day).
The dog is Henry. And anyone who knows anything about the coffee shop knows the vast importance of Henry!
The view? Well, that's the view (as you see it from the picture's perspective) that CS and I had as we stood under the tree in the front lawn during our wedding ceremony.
Go Jack! I'm so proud of you! 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Paint Your Wagon
Y'all remember the ole 1969 musical western comedy, "Paint Your Wagon" (starring Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood, among others)?
The first time I saw it was with CS. It was just one of the many movies he introduced me to. We first saw it together early in our "dating" time. It was one of his favorite movies for several decades. Over the years, we probably saw it together a total of about 3 times.
After the first time we saw it together, we decided that the theme song of the movie should be OUR theme song.
For CS's first birthday that we shared together (2002), I calligraphed (and framed) the chorus of the theme song, "Paint Your Wagon" (also known as, "I'm on My Way"):
Where are ya going?
I don't kow.
What'cha gonna do there?
I ain't certain.
All I know is . . .
I am on My Way!!!
Got a Dream, Boys.
Got a Song.
Paint Your Wagon
and Come along!
(For all you purists out there, no this is not the exact wording of the original song; but it is how CS said them . . . and how I calligraphed them)
. . . Last night I joined a couple of friends (who are also married to each other) and we went to see the play, "Paint Your Wagon." The Jackson Hole Playhouse puts on a different musical each year through the summer season. This year, they're doing, "Paint Your Wagon."
Happy Memories.
Isn't God's timing so good?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teton Rambler - 7/25/2005 5:53:41 PM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
|
"Working From Home"
Hi everyone.
Periodically, someone will pm me about my working from home. I've decided to use "my" chat thread as a reference point for anyone interested this topic.
The discussion begins at Post #865. Here's the link to get ya there easily.
http://forums.crosswalk.com/m_7422/mpage_35/key_/tm.htm#322781
Thanks!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teton Rambler - 7/27/2005 7:47:22 PM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
|
Big Brother /
Little Brother . . .
. . . Together Again
CS was the 2nd oldest sibling of five kids. He had an older brother, a younger brother and two younger sisters.
CS had very special love for all his siblings. When he was younger, he had a very special relationship with his older brother. Among all the big brother / little brother experiences they shared, one of them would, in fact, help mold CS into the person he was . . . it was CS's older brother that instilled into him a life-long passion for photography. I guess it was an "inherited" trait.
Sadly, CS's older brother was killed in an automobile accident when he was 17 (1953). CS was 14 at the time. CS had quite a few fond memories of those 14 years he had with his brother, and he so generously shared many of them with me these past 3 years.
In fact, a few weeks ago when I received CS's ashes, I remembered that he had once expressed a wish to have his ashes mixed in with the soil of his brother's grave site.
Today marked the 52nd death anniversary of CS's older brother. I thought it was the most fitting day to honor CS's request regarding his ashes.
So, a few of us - a couple of cousins, his brother, his best friend & best friend's wife . . . and I gathered up at the cemetary today. Bob dug a hole and I buried CS's ashes in the ground of his brother's grave site. I also put my wedding bouquet from last year in there. Some of y'all may remember that in the center of my bouquet were 3 white roses. There were two intentional reasons for these roses; signifying (1) Abba, Jesus & His Holy Spirt and (2) God, CS & me.
Rest in Peace, CS. I love you, Sweetie.
< Message edited by whiteroseblessings -- 7/27/2005 7:52:27 PM >
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teton Rambler - 8/3/2005 12:01:32 PM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
|
To My Cowboy Sweetie,
with Much Love . . .
"I must admit I think about you
every now and then.
Like when I open my eyes,
when I lay down at night
Every moment ever since
the day you said goodbye."
from "Of Course I'm Alright," written by Billy Kirsch, sung by Alabama
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/a/alabama/5077.html
< Message edited by whiteroseblessings -- 8/3/2005 12:05:23 PM >
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teton Rambler - 8/3/2005 6:06:26 PM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
|
Wonderful, Precious
Memories . . .
. . . One Year Ago, Today
The following is my blog entry from last year, 8/4/04 . . .
Oh, it was such a beautiful day! It had stormed the day before; starting in the early afternoon and lasting pretty much throughout the entire night. But!!! Tuesday, August 3rd (2004) was absolutely gorgeous! It was as if the previous day's storm was intentional so as to brighten everything up for "our" day. Thank you so much, Jesus!
Around 9:00am, CS and I went out to breakfast; the plan was for it to be a nice, relaxing breakfast before continuing on with the day.
But apparently, I was not going to be relaxed . . . at least not for a little while.
After breakfast, I bought more crème cheese and then went home and frosted the 2nd carrot cake. When I was buying the ingredients for the cakes on Sunday, I should have trusted my instincts about the amount of cream cheese the recipe called for; but I didn’t. I found out Monday night when I was frosting the 1st cake and used all the frosting for both cakes on just the one.
After getting the cakes ready, it was now time for me to get dressed . . . which thankfully and surprisingly was much easier than I had anticipated would be on this particular day.
And, before I knew it, CS and I were in the truck and on our way – one cake was on the seat in between the two of us (being anchored by my left hand) and the other cake was on my lap (being anchored by my right hand). Thankfully, CS didn’t have to slam on brakes during this little trip.
Our first stop was Jack’s – where we needed to leave everything: the cakes, all the eating paraphernalia (for the cake and also the custom-ordered sub sandwiches for each person), the paperwork, Caryn’s gift, CS’s camera and the picture of “The Cowboy and The Lady (a sepia-toned black & white of CS and me taken during one of our “photo shoots” about a month after we had started dating – our outfits in the picture were also the same outfits we both were wearing on this particular day . . . with a few “extras” added to mine).
We had only invited just a few people; and I had asked everyone to not come early. Of course, when we got to Jack’s to drop everything off, Jack was there . . . because well, it’s his coffee shop; he has to be there. CS’s brother was there, but that was a good thing because he was going to be the “official photographer” and CS wanted to give him some last minute instructions on what kind of photos CS wanted. And of course, Bob was there . . . but we kinda figured that; Bob does coffee every day at noon and usually hangs around for about an hour; no sense in leaving and then coming back in 30 minutes.
While CS was talking with his brother, I went next door to pick up my flowers – a very simple and quite beautiful wild flower bouquet of purple & lavender larkspur, some very tiny sweet pink things . . . and of course: in the center 3 white roses signifying 2 themes: CS, Me and God AND, of course, The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit.
By now, I was beginning to calm down.
CS didn’t want anyone to see the full effect of his outfit . . . until just the right time . . . so he was just wearing his new jeans & white pearl snap shirt, along with his marbled grey dress cowboy boots. The rest of the stuff was still in the back of his truck - to be put on after we had dropped everything off at Jack’s.
Our choice of entrance was going to be a surprise . . . but we did clue in CS’s brother so he would be ready for the photo ops, doncha know.
We were actually leaving Jack’s; had gotten almost out of the front yard when Jack came running up to us and wanted to know if we wanted any last-minute special things done for the lawn. Fortunately, about that time, a customer walked into the coffee shop so Jack had to go inside. That’s when CS and I made our escape!
We got in the truck and drove a block to the Stage Stop – where CS put on the rest of his outfit – his “dress” cowboy hat; the big one; his leather vest and burgundy neckerchief . . . then he strapped on his gun belt with his pearl-handle gun in the holster. I was wearing my sage-green, lace, flowy floor-length (lawn-length?) dress. I was also wearing a light pink hat with two pink blossomed silk flowers on the front with a matching sage-color silk hat band. On the back of my dress was a dress clip, waist level; made to match the flowers and the hat band. My shoes were pink slipper-sandals, with the same type of flowers; the sandals matched the hat and the dress clip. Can y’all believe it? No Birkesnstocks on this particular day!
The Stage Stop, btw, is the place that people go to buy tickets to ride an authentic Old West stage coach around town. This particular day, CS was calling it the Marriage Carriage. Our driver was so nice. We told him what we wanted and that we had to arrive at 1:30pm. Definitely not even a minute earlier, but a few minutes later would be fine. So he told us to get in and that he would take us on a longer ride than usual.
It was so fun riding through town; both of us in our finery; people waving to us. CS kept giving me a time count. 7 more minutes. 5 more minutes. 3 more minutes.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch . . . ok, ok . . . back at the coffee shop, Jack was trying to figure out where we had went! All the guests had arrived (all 12 of them); the only ones who weren’t there were CS and me.
It was so exciting when we turned the corner . . . and I saw our friends milling about. The stage coach made a very unique stop; right in front of Jack’s coffee shop (not a normal part of their regular service). Everyone soon figured out WHO was in the coach . . . CS and I – waving to everyone. It was so fun to see them waving back and smiling and laughing.
It never occurred to us that people would bring their cameras. CS’s brother using CS’s camera was planned, but we were a bit amazed at all the cameras pointed at us. So after a few minutes of photo shooting, we thanked and tipped our driver and off he went to go pick up his next group.
One of my very good friends, Caryn, who is also an ordained minister was there, at the coffee shop, to give me the great honor of officiating the ceremony.
So, after a few more minutes of CS and I going around hugging everyone, we all gathered under the huge shade tree on the front lawn of Jack’s coffee shop . . . and CS & I read love letters aloud to each other, exchanged rings & vows with each other . . . and became husband and wife.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teton Rambler - 8/3/2005 6:11:52 PM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
|
Back to current time . . . (8/3/05)
So far during these past several weeks, I have been able to keep my promise to myself . . . and get out of the house every day; even if it’s just to go get coffee. However, I wasn’t so sure I’d be able to keep that promise today . . . and, yet, I truly didn’t want to spend the day holed up in this “empty” house by myself . . . so I tricked myself and made sure that staying home today would definitely not be an option.
. . . So, how did I trick myself? A couple of weeks ago, I planned a party up at the coffee shop for today . . . and as soon as I got Jack’s permission to use his premises, I immediately started inviting just a few people. Just like last year, I made 2 carrot cakes. Instead of sub sandwiches, though, today we had fried chicken (at Jack’s request) and potato salad. It was a noon-time lunch party and there were about 9 of us.
It definitely wasn’t the anniversary I had hoped for . . . but it was most certainly done in love for and memory of CS and it was so very comforting to be able to share the day with some of “our” friends. Lots of laughter, lots of sweet memories. And wouldn’t ya know it . . . even some white roses! (The last thing I expected was a gift – but I received a most beautiful bouquet of white roses . . . yep, I’m going to dry them and keep them). I even brought my camera and took a group picture of everyone.
CS - I love you, Sweetie. I’m so very glad and so very grateful to Our Lord that we were able to share part of our lives together and that you chose me to be your wife. It is definitely an honor that I will always deeply cherish and hold very close and dear to my heart.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teton Rambler - 8/12/2005 8:04:25 PM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
|
A Word Aptly Spoken . . .
A lot of really, uhm, weird and even, uhm "quite-less-than-sensitive" things have been said to me during the past 8½ weeks.
I could choose to focus on all the negative things that have come out of some people's mouths . . . but to do so would also almost guarantee self-pity, bitterness, callousness and even inappropriate anger to take hold in my heart. Not a good thing at all and certainly not one of my desires.
Instead, what I want to do is to remember all the wonderful things said to me that have been such tremendous healing balms for me.
It is with pleasure that I share some of those blessings with y'all now:
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I saw Jimmy the other day as I was running errands, and we both stopped to chat with each other. After a couple of minutes, he took both my hands in his . . . and with tears running down his cheeks, he said,
"I saw you walking around town the other day, Sharon-Marie. It was so sad to not see CS with you; the two of you did everything together. My heart just aches for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this."
(yeah, while it was painful to hear, it was also incredible sweet to see this man share himself with me on such a level).
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When I was in the bank today, I waived at Linda and she came out into the lobby to give me a hug.
"How are you," she asked.
"Oh, I'm ok; sometimes, better than others; sometimes I'm not ok at all . . . but overall, I'm ok."
"The next time you're not ok, call me. We'll go for a walk, or I can just come over and be with you until you are ok again."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
One comment that I have received from several people that simultaneously baffles me and encourages me is how "brave", how "strong", how "courageous" I am.
I'm baffled because I certainly don't feel brave nor strong nor courageous - on any level at all. Quite the opposite, in fact.
I'm encouraged because I KNOW that the bravery, the strength, the courage is coming directly from and only from Jesus; it's HIS Bravery; HIS Strength; HIS Courage that He is imparting to me and that other people see.
Thank You, Jesus.
For Your Glory, Lord.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teton Rambler - 8/18/2005 10:03:17 AM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26721
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
Status: offline
|
| | |
Forum Tools
Printable Version
