|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: The Meet Market - 7/29/2008 10:49:33 PM
|
|
|
kj88il
Posts: 2048
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: IL (NW Central)
Status: offline
|
michelle......i joined the farmersonly site last night. had 2 dozen roses and 3 emails this evening. that's more 'action' than i got on christian cafe! lol
_____________________________
Kimberly (aka KJ)
Shifing Gears w/ Kimberly
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The Meet Market - 7/29/2008 10:52:38 PM
|
|
|
John_O
Posts: 8009
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: rgod
I haven't experienced this or had anyone who did. But I agree with having one person move and I personally don't believe that the woman should move ... but rather the man. I don't have any scripture or anything concerning it - I just think the man should continue to pursue - rather than the woman. I don't think it should be something entered into lightly - but I do think that if you've been dating someone for a while and you are considering marriage, I think it is wise for you both to live in the same city for a while (or fairly close to one another) so that you can see that person often - if not on a daily basis. You need to be able to see how they react to daily life - I think. That way you can really get to know the person a lot better. And even if it doesn't work out - I think it is better to find that out prior to marriage than afterwards. And I do think it is wise to move after you've found a job rather than before (unless of course, you've got the finances to be able to withstand several months of unemployment before you find a job). In taking the risk of moving, finding a job, apartment etc. beforehand I think are a couple of the things that you can do to minimize the risk.
The question of who moves also has to take into account the financial aspect. (ignoring my unique considerations with the Girl for the moment) For example. I hold a lucrative position with a very healthy pension. It would be a major financial blunder for me to move as I could not rebuild my pension working for another organization and could not attain anything approaching my salary after a relocation. So for the financial health of the marriage it's best that she moves here. So "who moves" has got to be taken on a case by case basis accounting for the ages of the people involved. If I were in my young twenties and not yet established. Moving would be no problem. But as the potential husband it is my duty to provide for my family. I can easily do that here and may not be able to do that elsewhere.
Secondly, M and I never lived in the same town until we were married. We had 18 years together before God took her home. The day to day living is easy to deal with if you know the major issues are all compatible as our were. So she threw her towel on the floor after a shower, Would that be worth foregoing a lifetime of happiness together for? I don't think so.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The Meet Market - 7/29/2008 11:04:15 PM
|
|
|
OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2678
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
Status: offline
|
quote:
quote:
ORIGINAL: rgod
I haven't experienced this or had anyone who did. But I agree with having one person move and I personally don't believe that the woman should move ... but rather the man. I don't have any scripture or anything concerning it - I just think the man should continue to pursue - rather than the woman. I don't think it should be something entered into lightly - but I do think that if you've been dating someone for a while and you are considering marriage, I think it is wise for you both to live in the same city for a while (or fairly close to one another) so that you can see that person often - if not on a daily basis. You need to be able to see how they react to daily life - I think. That way you can really get to know the person a lot better. And even if it doesn't work out - I think it is better to find that out prior to marriage than afterwards. And I do think it is wise to move after you've found a job rather than before (unless of course, you've got the finances to be able to withstand several months of unemployment before you find a job). In taking the risk of moving, finding a job, apartment etc. beforehand I think are a couple of the things that you can do to minimize the risk.
I completeley disagree that across the board, the husband should move. It completely depends. I know a man who owns a local business, so his wife had to move here, it only makes sense. Also, if the man is in the military, the wife is going to be the one following him. In fact, if the wife wants to stay home, and the husband is established, than it will make more sense for the wife to move. For certain reasons, and at certain times, there may be a reason for the husband to move, but not always. And sometimes people already live in the same town, and some people pick a new location all together. it just depends.
_____________________________
Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The Meet Market - 7/29/2008 11:15:04 PM
|
|
|
trinigirl722
Posts: 331
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Dallas, TX
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: rgod
I think it is interesting that the courts decided to grant the woman money concerning the lawsuit. It isn't a contractual thing I would think ...
Hmmmm ... yes, that is interesting. Wonder what the winning argument was?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The Meet Market - 7/30/2008 7:45:05 AM
|
|
|
ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2104
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline
|
You know...
GP1 and The Beau are pretty soon going to have to face this decision of who moves. John, he IS in his twenties, so the finances might actually be improved for him to move to TX but there are other concerns (not just his parents, though that's certainly a factor).
Anyway, I just thought I'd point out that at this point we are all having to wait on God for more information concerning who moves...though my daughter moved to KY for the summer so they could spend face time with each other: that was because her job is more flexible in the summer, allowing her to do that.
Here are a few of the things they have to consider when deciding:
1. Both of them are very close to their families. The Beau's family in particular has gotten very manipulative and bizarre over "losing" him, and he wants to reconcile if at all possible. Moving 1300 miles away is not going to be conducive to that.
Our family is without a father...I have depended on GP1 for her help for many years and all 5 of us are very close. She doesn't want to leave if she doesn't have to...but in this case it would be much easier for her to move than for him.
2. He has a steady, established job in his area of passion and calling there already, but it doesn't pay enough to support a family. His area is economically depressed so it's very likely he could find better opportunities here. GP1 has a steady, established job here in her area of passion and calling, but with the addition that it's also a major mission field within her calling and the place she works is highly unique. Moving to KY, she'd have to build her own if she was going to continue to do what she is so very, very good at. But she can envision God calling her to do that.
3. GP1 has always had a church family and networking to support her. But The Beau is just now learning about putting down roots into a church family and a community and he's getting comfortable with it: something his bizarre family has cheated him out of. Would it really be right for us to ask him to move away from those relationships now? This is an incredibly important thing for him spiritually. Of course they can rebuild one wherever they decide to go to church and GP1 can help him learn how to do that...in addition he'd walk into one already established here...but that may not be best.
I don't think it's very clear which is the right thing for them to do. Therefore I conclude that it's not always right for the guy to move. The couple has to follow God as hard as they can. We are trusting God that when the right time comes He'll make it clear what they are to do...and it wouldn't surprise me in the least that God's solution would included neither of the choices we are considering!
besiderself
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The Meet Market - 7/30/2008 10:41:41 AM
|
|
|
Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6284
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
Status: offline
|
quote:
Both of them are very close to their families. The Beau's family in particular has gotten very manipulative and bizarre over "losing" him, and he wants to reconcile if at all possible. Moving 1300 miles away is not going to be conducive to that. It might be the best thing for their marriage, should they get married, though. Living close to a manipulative family is not good for newlyweds, IMO.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The Meet Market - 7/30/2008 11:11:57 AM
|
|
|
ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2104
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
quote:
Both of them are very close to their families. The Beau's family in particular has gotten very manipulative and bizarre over "losing" him, and he wants to reconcile if at all possible. Moving 1300 miles away is not going to be conducive to that. It might be the best thing for their marriage, should they get married, though. Living close to a manipulative family is not good for newlyweds, IMO.
Agreed.
besiderself
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The Meet Market - 8/2/2008 9:16:54 AM
|
|
|
humbleinspirit
Posts: 18075
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
|
I joined Christian Mingle this past week. I still need to fill out more details though.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The Meet Market - 8/2/2008 10:16:13 AM
|
|
|
trainfan
Posts: 2331
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: neither here nor there
Status: offline
|
John_O and OOHJ took my answer. Moving for me would not be practical either since I own my own business. I would have to meet someone local or a woman who was willing to move.
_____________________________
<---- Look a smiling dog!
________________________________
Support your local economy buy local and support local retailers.
________________________________
Now on Facebook trainfans model railroad pictures.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The Meet Market - 8/2/2008 3:09:46 PM
|
|
|
hogpharmer
Posts: 34
Joined: 8/5/2007
Status: offline
|
This seems to fit into this subject...say you meet someone online and you live very far away from each other (think AR and HI). How do you get to know each other really well? Emails, talking on the phone, I know. But are there other ways? Talking to each others friends, family?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The Meet Market - 8/2/2008 4:41:28 PM
|
|
|
mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12573
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
|
(contact Above_All and sharonjef2007 about this - Above_All (Trishy) is in HI and her soon to be husband was in Phoenix at the time, and Sharon was in Baltimore while her soon to be husband was in Iraq. It CAN be done!!!!!!!)
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
|
|
|
|
|
long distance - 8/2/2008 9:52:52 PM
|
|
|
ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2104
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline
|
Yes, and The Beau and GP1 (my daughter) started their relationship with him in Kentucky and her here in Texas.
Webcam is a great asset.
Besiderself
|
|
|
|
|
RE: long distance - 8/3/2008 12:03:44 AM
|
|
|
hogpharmer
Posts: 34
Joined: 8/5/2007
Status: offline
|
Thank you guys for letting me know about these examples.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: long distance - 8/3/2008 1:17:46 AM
|
|
|
FunBetty
Posts: 7181
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Dr Pepper Country
Status: offline
|
I think re: the long distance thing...like the case w/ Johnno and Trainfan...they are unable to move due to life circumstances. So obviously, a lady in the same situation would not be a good match for said person. You don't have to do any moving right away but keeping those circumstances in mind would be a good idea to make sure you don't hit a brick wall down the road....
_____________________________
Fun Betty's Therapy Centre and Cheesecake and Cookie Shoppe
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The Meet Market - 8/3/2008 8:21:18 PM
|
|
|
ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2104
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline
|
Thank you so much for posting, Sharonjef;
I am going to ask my GP1 and The Beau if they would like to comment on this, too. I think they'd be glad to input their experience from their perspective for you and for the benefit of others on this thread, hogpharmer.
besiderself
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The Meet Market - 8/3/2008 9:15:20 PM
|
|
|
sharonjef2007
Posts: 789
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline
|
You are right Trish...it is different for each person and each couple. I know for myself......I think God moved me out here for several reasons. While yeah, I miss being on the coast and near the water and such, what I REALLY miss is my family and friends. But, If I had stayed tehre, and Ray had moved to the east coast, our relationship may not have grown the way it should have. In fact, I would bet money that we would not have made it as a couple. I would not have had or made the time the relationship required. God had some other things to work out in me as well that probably would not have happened back at home.
As several people here will tell you, the whole process of getting into this relationship with Ray along with moving and even this first year here has not been easy. In fact, we actually coined a new term......sharonesque freak out......
Hopefully those days are over. I trust God with my life (even though I don't always understand or like His choices for me) and I love a man now more then I ever thought I could. He loves me too. And that trifecta of love will get me through anything.....even being surrounded by miles and miles of corn or 6 month long winters. And....who knew that God could take care of my family and friends....and that I didn't have to be the one to do it!!!!!! I still have a lot to learn I guess.
_____________________________
my blog......Finally, a new last name!.......
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The Meet Market - 8/4/2008 10:18:58 AM
|
|
|
gaylel1
Posts: 1253
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
Status: offline
|
I still think that Christian men should take the lead to leave their surrounding and not having the burden to the woman all the time. While the two examples are the exeception to the rule (please do not get on me or have fits of anger when I post this). there are stories of disapointment by women who had their hopes dashed leaving no prospects for employment nor no money. And as times as it is now with the unemployment situation in many cities now, there is no guarantee that no one will take care of you when the relationship ends. I know a lot of people who had their time and even their savings gone because of something that would not work.
And if a man does not step out on faith to move out of his surroundings, something is wrong.
LDR's are good, but people need to also to face reality and not face disapointment and have a plan once the dream ends.
_____________________________
Hear "The Truth" with the "other"l Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)
Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The Meet Market - 8/4/2008 6:40:05 PM
|
|
|
|
sh | | |
Forum Tools
Printable Version
BLOG 
