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RE: Kicka, part 3 - 7/21/2008 10:27:41 AM
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daughter_of_faith
Posts: 1265
Joined: 1/10/2008
From: Great Plains, Kansas
Status: offline
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He shouldn't have yelled at you, Kat. That's ridiculous that he expected you to interrupt a meeting just for a sales call. I wouldn't want to do business with someone who couldn't respect the fact that the business administrator was in a meeting. The fact that he called your Christianity into question was beyond low. Sorry to hear, hun. Take a few deep breaths...talk to God for a few minutes. You can do this!!
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RE: Kicka, part 3 - 7/21/2008 11:07:23 AM
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purejoy
Posts: 883
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
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Kat-
Sounds like maybe he doesn't know what being a Christian really means and was just throwing that out to try and manipulate the situation? Maybe not, but that came to mind. He was totally off base, but it sounds like he got mad when he was told you wouldn't be doing business with him and he just had to say something to make himself feel better. I can understand why you were upset...I'm sure I would have been too. But unless you know him personally and know where his faith is at, try not to take it too personally. ((Kat))
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RE: Kicka, part 3 - 7/21/2008 12:20:53 PM
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TwinCityGirl
Posts: 1119
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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Any good salesperson knows they're low man on the totem pole in getting dealt with and knows that patience is just what might pay off.
KAT: Write the experience off. The guy was being a dork who doesn't know how to do his job. Shake it off, girl, shake it off. I know that feeling when someone rattles your cage and you were doing everything you could do to keep it nice -- the guy was just a dork, I say! He's not worth thinking about any longer. <--(Do your best at that, I know it's hard when you really get shaken.)
(((((((((KAT)))))))))))
Jeanie
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RE: Kicka, part 3 - 7/21/2008 1:13:11 PM
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TwinCityGirl
Posts: 1119
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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Kat,
I usually try to follow through my thoughts on WHY that person might like that. If he's that rude to YOU, and you were being NICE to him...I wonder what it's like to be his wife, or his child? I wonder what happens to people that they get like that?! (I had a great childhood and have a great life so I cannot honestly tell you what in the world gets into people that they get oafy like that.) 
JEANIE GOES DOWN MEMORY LANE:
A million years ago I worked at a medical clinic and this lady called in wanting her son to be seen by the doctor who started the practice. This doctor was down to part-time days (nearing retirement) so his schedule was ALWAYS full and it was really hard to get any of "his patients" in at the last minute. We had a lot of other doctors and also a doctor on-call so there was someone to see her son that day.
When I told her that her son would have to see Dr. XYZ today because Dr. ABC's schedule was full, she FLIPPED OUT on me. Her son was being seen for a soccer game injury TO HIS ARM. Yeah, HIS ARM, people. Any doctor can diagnose a sprained wrist, you know?
This woman just lost it on me. She was ANGRY. And she gave me probably one of the most stern talkings-to I have EVER had in my life. "Dr. ABC will see my son TODAY!" (in addition to her many other choice comments)
I told her I had no authority to double-book the doctor so I would have to leave a note with that doctor's nurse and see if they could work her son in. Keep in mind, I kept my civility and kind nature this entire time but she was really getting me at my core. It didn't make me mad, it made me AFRAID. This was a scary woman, and her continued telling me off was not working for me....
I took her number, gave a note to the nurse and washed my hands of it. About 15 minutes later the nurse came back, IN TEARS -- she had clearly been crying -- and gently told me "I called and talked to her. Dr. ABC said to put her son in with Dr. XYZ this afternoon." (Exactly what I had been offering this woman.) The nurse had called the woman back and had gotten such a bad earful that she had started to cry. This was a really nice woman, this nurse. Not the kind of woman who just cries at the drop of a hat.
Imagine my surprise when the woman called back to tell me she had heard we had to have Dr. XYZ see her, and HE WILL SEE MY SON TODAY! So I offered up an appointment time that was within 45 minutes to an hour from then -- since she was so frantic her son gets seen RIGHT NOW kind of flavor.
Well, I just about laughed when I said something like "Could you come at 1 o'clock? Dr. XYZ could see your son at 1:00?" And she got more huffy-puffy and said indignantly "No, he can't come at 1 o'clock. He's in SCHOOL!!!!!!" (Like, "Duh, Stupid Jeanie!!! He's not so injured he has to miss school!!") Oh, of COURSE NOT!
So we gave him an appointment at like 4 o'clock that day. Turns out the kid had been injured the night before. (The kid was nice.) The mother walked by all of us like we were the biggest pieces of trash on the earth. That woman was a real piece of work.
Dr. ABC came to me the next day and asked me about my exchange with this woman and I told him what had happened. She was then sent a letter stating in no uncertain terms she was not to ever talk to his staff (nurse or office staff or anybody) like that again or her file and her family files would be sent to the doctor's office of her choosing and we would no longer be her/her family's care provider. (Go, Dr. ABC!)
People, if it's URGENT that your kid gets seen, then go to URGENT CARE. Instead the kid gets hurt at 6 o'clock the night before and she lets him sleep on it, lets him go to school ALL DAY with it, rips us all up and down......it will be a miracle if that kid grew up with any sense of normal at all.
Perhaps he was your salesman, Kat! 
It has been well over a decade since I dealt with that lady and I can still vividly recall the whole thing. 
Jeanie
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RE: Kicka, part 3 - 7/21/2008 2:12:09 PM
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Nicole_Michelle
Posts: 2660
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TwinCityGirl
quote:
ORIGINAL: InBetweenDreams
Speaking of rude people...
I have lots of embarrassing memories with my grandma at restaurants. She was miss hag when she didn't get the service she thought she deserved. She would actually go get her own coffee while walking heavily and huffing and puffing. She couldn't even sit and wait 2 minutes for the waitress to bring it to her. She would even go into the kitchen and get mad at the chef for taking too long... and they were never slow at preparing our meals.  She would tell them that her grandchildren were starving and was wondering what was taking them so long to make our meals. We never once complained about being starving... we didn't dare say anthing because we knew she would go nuts. I always felt so terrible for the restaurant staff and alwasy waited for the day they would kick us out. I don't know why they never kicked her out. Maybe they just thought she was crazy and wanted to stay away. Even when I was 6 years old I felt terrible and just wanted to run out of the restaurant and get away from my grumpy, rude grandma.
I am not being dramatic when I say I would NEVER EVER be able to eat out with your grandma. I cannot stand to be embarrassed by adults. Cannot STAND it.
In fact, after a fairly recent story a relative told us about his and her experience dining in a nice place, I told my husband later "We will NEVER eat anywhere with them where you don't go up to a counter and pay right there and take your food and sit down. NEVER. If that husband pulled the stunts he pulls with me there, I would want the world to swallow me whole right then."
I do NOT like what my mother calls "Making a scene". We were never allowed to "make a scene" as children, I'll do my darndest not to have a son that does that (though I am sure it happens to all parents at some point) but when grown-ups act poorly? Oh, no no no!
In the last 5 years I have gone out to eat with my grandma once with Lorne. It was her and my grandma and luckily she acted fine. Another time I went out with her it was with my whole family and my grandpa. The only embarrassing thing was the way they ate and made messes of themselves.  I don't even like to go to my grandparents place for a meal. I usually end up eating a bun or something she hasn't prepared or touched. 
But yes, when adults are rude and immature it is the worst!
The worst was when she made fun of someone's weight and would stare at them to let them know she was disgusted. And the person she was always rude to was always at least half her size. Once she saw a man covered in tattoos at McDonalds. He was also wearing a "satanic" looking shirt. She was so rude and mean. She talked out loud (really loudly so he could hear) how disgusted she was with his appearance and shirt. My brother, sister and I felt like crying. She is just one of those very judgemental Christians who thinks she can judge someone by their appearance instead of looking at herself.
I love my grandma, but I don't like to visit with her very often. The last 2 times we went to stay with my family we didn't go see them even though she keeps emailing me telling me to make sure to visit her. I just don't like sitting down with a lady who has done so many terrible things to my family and doesn't want to change. I have to be in the perfect mood to be able to visit with her. I feel bad for my grandpa... He misses out on seeing a lot of family because of her.
< Message edited by InBetweenDreams -- 7/21/2008 2:21:43 PM >
_____________________________
~Nicole~
For the love of photography - my blog
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RE: Kicka, part 3 - 7/21/2008 2:34:40 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 9536
Status: offline
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quote:
I do NOT like what my mother calls "Making a scene". We were never allowed to "make a scene" as children, I'll do my darndest not to have a son that does that (though I am sure it happens to all parents at some point) but when grown-ups act poorly? Oh, no no no!
I hate that kind of behavior too...and let me just encourage you, yes it is possible to train your child up in that way too. If our kids can do it, then others can too. When we have issues (like overly tired, whininess, etc) we deal with it out of ear shot of everyone else and our kids shape up or we leave. We try to not do things when they are tired...or try not to do restaurants where you have to wait a long time when they are extremely hungry...small accommodations but they have a big pay off in how our kids act!!!
brag moment......this weekend we went out to eat at Chili's...the waitress said (when we were preparing to leave) that she just had to say she enjoyed our table and our kids and that she appreciated how well behaved they were. She said there is another large family that comes in there often and they are always making huge messes, not leaving a tip, kids running around, etc. She said some even refuse to have them in their section!!!! She said we were always welcome to come back to her section though!!! It makes me proud when people see the things in our kids that we have strived so hard to teach them and train the up in!!! KWIM?
_____________________________
Proud to be...  
Be alert - the world needs more lerts.
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RE: Kicka, part 3 - 7/21/2008 3:00:58 PM
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TwinCityGirl
Posts: 1119
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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Sarah,
My sister works at an Applebees and believe me, she is ALWAYS thrilled when she gets a family with children (no matter how many children they have) that are well behaved.
She LOVES to tell the story of a family that came in with, I believe, 6 young children. They were fine with a booth. (She loves it when people aren't all demanding "We'll have a large booth by the window facing south not under an air vent and with the Musack playing "Memory" overhead....)
But this family came in, mom/dad, the kids. The mom and dad did the ordering: "He'll have a this, she'll have a that, they will split a this...." Not one kid complained "Mom! But I want a THAT instead of a THIS!" NOT ONE KID. They also ordered water for the kids: not one complaint. Throughout the meal the kids enjoyed themselves, shared, were pleasant. My sister couldn't get over it. Still talks about that family to this day, how non-whiny the kids were and what a nice family they were.
She also sees the flip side of that where the family comes in and starts bellering from the word go. They have the 4-year-old tell the hostess "We'll have a booth by the corner facing the window". PEOPLE: Restaurant workers DO NOT want to take orders from your 4-year-old, K?  And then when they get them to the booth it's not good enough "We want THAT booth"....well, maybe the hostess didn't seat you there because they CAN'T for whatever reason (and it's really none of your business, they are doing you a favor by feeding you -- if you want to sit in a certain spot, eat at home)...
Then the kids give their orders, or they complain "But I don't WAAAAAAAANNNNNT chicken fingers!"
See, SERIOUSLY, I was not raised in that kind of family, neither was my husband, so no matter what the rest of America's families are doing, that is NOT going to be allowed in my little family. We will train him not to be whiny.
But adults acting poorly in public is waaay worse in my mind because kids get tired, kids don't always have a voice, kids often are just acting the way they were trained to act (and training can be just as much or even more by what they see acted out rather than what is actually told to them).
I cannot stand when people in a restaurant or store are rude to the workers. IT MAKES ME CRAZY. I always try to make up for people, say in Target, that act rudely before it's my turn to pay. I'm always super nice to the cashier then because I'm trying to make up for the last person's poor behavior.
I am SUCH a middle child!
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RE: Kicka, part 3 - 7/21/2008 3:22:20 PM
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Karaboo2
Posts: 2406
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
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So with the current theme of this thread, I'm going to throw this out there and see what responses I get ...
We are going to a wedding in October (weekend after our Thanksgiving). Now, I've been looking at hotels in that area. It's only 90 minutes away from home, but with the length of the day and the price of gas, we've decided it would be highly advantageous to stay overnight instead of travelling back and forth with very tired children. We will be taking 3 of our children, our 7yo & 5yo, and the brand new babe. The currently youngest two will be staying with my friends for the weekend.
The wedding ceremony is in one town, and the reception is in a larger city about 10 minutes from there. So here is what we've found hotel wise:
In the town where the service is being held, there is a basic hotel (Comfort Inn) no meals included, smallish room for $90 per night.
In the city where the reception is being held, we can stay at a larger hotel (Marriott Residence Inn), hot breakfast buffet included, full kitchen in room, etc, for $170 per night.
The larger one also has a pool, it would be a two bedroom suite, so the kids would have space to spread out and play, etc. And we would bring our own food to prepare in the hotel room.
Dh's first thought was to go with the cheaper place ... and then I pointed out that all meals would end up being eaten out, which isn't cheap by any means. So we're leaning more towards the nicer (but pricier) hotel, and bringing our own food to prepare for the meals which we would have to cover ourselves (which would really be everything except the wedding dinner). And this way, we wouldn't have to worry so much about our 5yo's allergies either, as we would know exactly what was in his food. I was also thinking this way we would be able to work more with the kids schedule, and not worry about them being tired and cranky around meal times ... they could play/nap/swim with daddy/whatever while the meal was being prepped, rather than sitting at a table totally bored.
So any thoughts? Also, with that hotel being in the same city as the reception, we wouldn't have as far to travel back to the hotel afterwards, so less chance of them falling asleep in the van and getting moody about waking up to go in to bed ...
_____________________________
Kara
Tea Drinkers Anonymous
<-- Caleb
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RE: Kicka, part 3 - 7/21/2008 3:35:35 PM
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isaacsmom
Posts: 1989
Joined: 12/2/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SweetLittleErin
((Kat)) I can relate. Working in the position I do I get alot of rude people....apparently people think every little claim or problem they have is 100% my fault since I answered the phone. And not that its an excuse, but since being pregnant its getting much harder to keep my cool. Sorry that guy was so rude to you. On the bright side...you are through with him now.
Oh...the stories I could tell, but I'll refrain for now....(I'm sure you all will appreciate that!). 
Erin, I totally thought of you this morning when I was calling my insurance company, LOL. I try to realize that the person on the other end most of the time can't do much, and I need to stay civil and work my way up the totem pole if things really get sticky. To the people who really make the policies in the first place.
((((Kat))))) I've never been one to handle conflict well, either, it pretty much dumbfounds me at the time. Sorry that happened to you.
quote:
Speaking of rude people...
I have lots of embarrassing memories with my grandma at restaurants. She was miss hag when she didn't get the service she thought she deserved. She would actually go get her own coffee while walking heavily and huffing and puffing. She couldn't even sit and wait 2 minutes for the waitress to bring it to her. She would even go into the kitchen and get mad at the chef for taking too long... and they were never slow at preparing our meals. She would tell them that her grandchildren were starving and was wondering what was taking them so long to make our meals. We never once complained about being starving... we didn't dare say anthing because we knew she would go nuts. I always felt so terrible for th | | |
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I am proud of you and Paul for raising your kids to be well behaved like that! My parents never let us get away with being bratty so we were always good too. Whenever we went out with other parents and their kids it was always a disaster and even when I was young I hated going to restaurants with other people's kids unless they were well behaved. 
