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RE: Shocking Christian Revelations

 
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RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 3/12/2008 7:27:23 PM   
ladyichigo


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From: Honolulu
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Our apartment building got audited last week. Our unit was "randomly" selected for inspection. We cleaned it from top to bottom and made sure everything was sanitized enough to perform surgery.

I was rather frustrated that our unit was selected because my husband is a clean freak and doesn't like strange people coming in and randomly touching our stuff. Now...here is the "shocking" part. As I drifted off to a very restless sleep the night before (I drank too much caffeine...OH NO!! ) the auditors came, I thought about buying a mannequin/dummy and leaving it on the kitchen floor in a pool of fake blood like a CSI crime scene with a hidden video camera, just to see what reaction I'd get out them auditors. Yes...I THOUGHT about it!

Well, we passed the inspection BUT..the auditors found that our ventilation fan in our bathroom to be "too loud".

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Mari

I'm not cool enough to come up with a witty quote, but God is still good.
Post #: 176
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 3/12/2008 7:30:09 PM   
earthless


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From: where pigeons are wearing sweaters....
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I would hate to have to deal with that... it's your place no?

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Probing Today's Religious Movements | Promoting Doctrinal Discernment & Critical Thinking | Providing Reasons for Christian Faith & Ethics
Post #: 177
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 3/12/2008 7:34:08 PM   
ladyichigo


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From: Honolulu
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No. We're renting.

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Mari

I'm not cool enough to come up with a witty quote, but God is still good.
Post #: 178
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 3/12/2008 8:42:29 PM   
ta_mosquito


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From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
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Why do they care how spotless your apartment is?

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Post #: 179
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 3/12/2008 8:46:27 PM   
Walker311


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quote:

Well, we passed the inspection BUT..the auditors found that our ventilation fan in our bathroom to be "too loud".


It seems that this discussion always seems to head back to the bathroom. Wonder why?
Post #: 180
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 3/12/2008 8:52:44 PM   
ladyichigo


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From: Honolulu
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the owners of the building care because if they don't have it well maintained, they can't have their low income housing tax credits, and if they don't have their tax credits, then they can't lease the apartment out to low income tenants...or something like that.

$675.00/month including water & trash for a 2 bedroom apartment, partly furnished (comes with fridge and range) is REALLY cheap here in Hawaii, considering that regular rent for a 1 bedroom apartment is almost $2,000/month...so I really shouldn't complain, but...it's annoying.

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Mari

I'm not cool enough to come up with a witty quote, but God is still good.
Post #: 181
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 3/12/2008 8:55:22 PM   
ladyichigo


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From: Honolulu
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Walker311

quote:

Well, we passed the inspection BUT..the auditors found that our ventilation fan in our bathroom to be "too loud".


It seems that this discussion always seems to head back to the bathroom. Wonder why?


Because that's where the "THRONE" is.

_____________________________

Mari

I'm not cool enough to come up with a witty quote, but God is still good.
Post #: 182
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 3/19/2008 10:54:10 PM   
Carleejoan


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I guess I was wrong this thread did get pretty funny!

I think the CSI idea was good Ladyichigo. You may have got into trouble but after the dust settled they all would've had a good laugh! I think the world gets too serious to a painful level and someone just has to break decorum!

I was a brat as a kid so I don't where I would start in mischievious stories. Throwing eggs at the holstein milk cows. Dressing up chickens in doll clothes that would fit (sort of). Telling my mother my sisters were up to "no good" with some neighbour boys who they were meeting with one night. My oldest sister really hated me after that. I was egged on to talk to mom by one of the boys younger sisters who was my age. Writing on the blackboard "the teacher is a pig" as a joke.

< Message edited by Carleejoan -- 3/19/2008 11:59:53 PM >
Post #: 183
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 4/3/2008 4:06:58 AM   
cherokeehippie

 

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Swimming!!?? Well, I got to swim in the Sea of Galilee and turn somersaults at nighttime!! Yep!! I miss that!!! And finding smoothed pieces of pottery and ancient glass, too....oh I wish I was there again to collect some wirewrapping goodies!!...now that I do wirewrapping!

I have a confession to make!! I once had to go number two on the top of MT. Arbel...a cliff that overlooks the Sea of Galilee. I was with a class(I went one semester of school in ISrael back in 1992), and suddenly got an upset tummy and there was no bathroom..and had to go behind a bush!! I left a part of me in the soil of the HolyLand!
Post #: 184
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 4/3/2008 6:34:57 AM   
Sammy_S


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I listen/watch Backstreet Boys songs/videos every once in a while.May the Lord have mercy on my soul.

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Christ saved you from the wrath of an almighty God. Hell is just a revelation of that. I always tell people this. God saved you from Himself, God saved you for Himself and God saved you by Himself."

Paul Washer
Post #: 185
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 4/3/2008 9:30:43 AM   
butterfly123

 

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Most shocking-I can't say, so many things that I used to do, that I no longer do, because the Lord said to stop.

Me-That too? I gotta stop that too?
Lord-Yup.
Me-Oh darn, how in the earth am I going to stop that, I like doing that....grumble...grumble..grumble.. .and so on repeat until I change....

and then I stop.

That is my shocking confession, I am a reluctantly moving santified person....Thank goodness God has mercy and patience on me, or else I would still be stuck back on square one.

In truth it still shocks me to be so radically changed.

Funny-I really thought the PTL channel was a satire the first time I saw it. Found it rather a creepy satire too. Now there is that one where the lady has purple hair, and I think that is bizarre.
Post #: 186
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 4/3/2008 9:34:14 PM   
frazzledmom

 

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Back when I was filling the hole in my heart with all the wrong things.....

I would serve on church committees as a bright intelligent promising teenager and later seriously kiss my boyfriend at the time up in the church balcony.


I didn't go to all the Youth Convocation seminars Feb. of 1983. I had -a boyfriend from just about every previous camp I had attended. One on just about every floor of the dorms we stayed in......well, lmost.

God bless the youth pastor that made sure I didn't run away that year-I was pretty messed up.


I cheated on an AP History quiz-the class Valedictorian gave me the answer.

Yep-I was a sweet, naive, "good girl". "tis a wonder I didn't end up any more messed up.

Frazzledmom

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RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 4/3/2008 10:54:09 PM   
Walker311


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quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzledmom

Back when I was filling the hole in my heart with all the wrong things.....

I would serve on church committees as a bright intelligent promising teenager and later seriously kiss my boyfriend at the time up in the church balcony.


I didn't go to all the Youth Convocation seminars Feb. of 1983. I had -a boyfriend from just about every previous camp I had attended. One on just about every floor of the dorms we stayed in......well, lmost.

God bless the youth pastor that made sure I didn't run away that year-I was pretty messed up.


I cheated on an AP History quiz-the class Valedictorian gave me the answer.

Yep-I was a sweet, naive, "good girl". "tis a wonder I didn't end up any more messed up.

Frazzledmom


Looks like it caught up with you as in your screename.. Frazzledmom!
Post #: 188
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 4/4/2008 12:40:57 AM   
lmwal931

 

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to frazzled mom i thank GOD for your forgiveness and restoration.

nobody was as bad as me. one sunday in church, preacher said "whiter than snow". wow. 3000 lb. load was taken off my shoulders. thank you for your testimony.
Post #: 189
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 4/4/2008 12:50:51 AM   
Carleejoan


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Ewwwww Cherokeehippie. Too much information!
Post #: 190
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 4/4/2008 4:53:46 PM   
KatMack


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Haven't read the whole thread but think I understand the concept here

Okay, my shocking revelations:

I've started smoking again... and HATE it, but don't want to stop either.

I'm a compulsive overeater... like eating disorder level overeater.

I love the band Tool. I read Harry Potter (and watch the movies). I'm a conservative commentary junkie...

Oh, the list could go on and on.

--Kat

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<-- My sweet blessings.

"God will do what God will do. What I'm responsible for is to believe he's all he says he is and obey what he tells me to do. " -magdaleine
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RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 4/4/2008 7:45:32 PM   
frazzledmom

 

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One more confession.....some will laugh hysterically.....enjoy at my expense

I grew up in a very liberal UMC home. Hell was not an issue nor was sin or homosexuality or anything else.

I ruffled family feathers when I decided the Bible was true and I would be sold out to Jesus, not the UMC.

Recently I attended a powerful, intense healing seminar. Now I'm not only a right-wing, fundamentalist waxko, i think I've turned charismatic as well. As Rachel Ray would say....ON MY GRAVY....

Please don't tell my mom. I will neither confirm or deny this and I will destroy all evidence etc etc etc


Frazzledmom

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I hear, I forget.
I see, I remember.
I do, I understand.
Post #: 192
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 4/4/2008 8:29:44 PM   
Walker311


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quote:

fundamentalist waxko


I knew that there was something about you that I liked! Isn't it spelled wacko? You been waxing floors today?
Post #: 193
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 4/4/2008 9:21:30 PM   
FaVored

 

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OK...
I enjoy a glass or two of wine occasionally.

I have been married almost 8 years and enjoy "some benefits" probably WAY more frequently than the average woman.

I aspire to take on the healty, vegitarian, soon to be vegan eating habits of other religions...BUT I AM CHRISTIAN!!!

This stems from the fact that I LOVE food and desserts to excess...and it shows

I secretly laugh at dirty jokes...GOD help me!

Had I been born maybe 10 years earlier, I'd probably be a hippy or nudist.

Post #: 194
RE: Shocking Christian Revelations - 4/4/2008 10:49:09 PM   
Doc65


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The one thing that I can post without causing monitors across cyberspace from exploding into incandescent fireballs is that I got a

**GASP**

Tattoo...of the cross crushing the head of the serpent (Gen. 3:16); I call it my birthmark...

There are other dark things that are "pre-saved" which would probably get me evicted from the thread...

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"The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights." Hab. 3:19
Post #: 195
Hiawatha Who? - 4/4/2008 11:16:06 PM   
oldmethuselah


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Walky, I am sorry I missed this starter.

How about "Hiawatha"? for a sentence starter?

As in...

Knock, Knock...

who's there?

Hiawatha!

Hiawatha Who?

HIAWATHA communist for the FBI!
Post #: 196
RE: Hiawatha Who? - 4/5/2008 10:24:46 AM   
Doc65


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quote:

Knock, Knock...

who's there?

Hiawatha!

Hiawatha Who?

HIAWATHA communist for the FBI!




_____________________________

"The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights." Hab. 3:19
Post #: 197
RE: Shocking Revelations - 4/5/2008 11:17:09 AM   
greatdivide46


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I read the first 6 pages of this thread so I don't know what's in between here and the end of page six, but here's my shocking revelations:

I always wear a suit and tie to church. Never shorts & flip-flops.

I have a giant 6 inch in diameter blue M&M on my desk to remind me of the end times.

I never tell my wife that something makes her look fat, even if it does.

I have to take notes during the pastor's sermon so I don't fall asleep.

_____________________________

greatdivide46
SFC, USA (Ret)
The reflections of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD -- Proverbs 16:1
Post #: 198
RE: Shocking Revelations - 4/5/2008 11:32:27 AM   
Doc65


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OK, OK, OK...

I got my tattoo while eating pizza and drinking a beer. In a pub. At a nudist colony...

Whew, I feel so much better now that's off my chest!

Just joking....

_____________________________

"The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights." Hab. 3:19
Post #: 199
RE: Shocking Revelations - 4/6/2008 5:56:39 AM   
Annie64


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From: Indianapolis, IN
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I like to eat...LIVER--and I don't like it with onions, either. Just the liver.

That's my funny shocking revelation. Now on to something more serious. I have had anger issues when dealing with my children. When my kids were little sometimes I would get so frustrated and angry with them that I would scream at them like nothing I'd ever heard anyone do before. I never swore at them or said anything horrible in my screams, but I would scream at them to the point where I would have a sore throat from it. And sometimes I really believed the spankings I gave them were more rough than should have been and crossed the line. Other people knew me as great with kids and a wonderful mother. This made me feel so guilty! I tried to confess it to my husband and not even he believed me. And it was not in my pre-Christian days. In fact, most of this time was when I was a missionary.

My kids are teenagers now. The oldest is 18 and none of them are rebellious. None of them throw anything I did when they were little back up to me. They all three profess to be Christians. I used to pray so hard about it. And God was merciful to me, and faithful to my kids, even when I was really messing up!

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ALL other ground is sinking sand.
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