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RE: Courtship: Guys, Are You Willing? - 4/22/2008 3:12:40 PM
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1mlasp
Posts: 269
Joined: 12/9/2005
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hmm....I see dating as just having fun, but no real commitment. Nothing wrong with that if that's the understanding, especially early on in the relationship.
I see it as courting when both parties agree to date exclusively with the idea of marriage as a goal.
I personally agree with a long courtship (as I define it) and a short engagement. We seem to the exact opposite in our society.
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RE: Courtship: Guys, Are You Willing? - 5/3/2008 5:30:27 AM
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StephenJ
Posts: 130
Joined: 12/3/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: relientkat
OK... I'll clarify what my parents and I consider to be courtship. And guys, be honest, tell me if this seems workable.
My parents and I believe courting to be this: Lets say "Bob" is a really good friend of mine. We hang out a lot with other friends but we've never been alone together. We've had lots of good talks and know each other well. Bob talks to my dad about pursuing a deeper relationship - hopefully marriage - with me. My dad agrees. I accept. Bob starts coming over to my house more regularly to spend time with me and my family. I do the same with Bob's family. Maybe a couple months, weeks, or even days go by and Bob asks my father's permission to marry me. I accept. We get married.
THERE!!! All the stuff between friends and married is courtship. Guys, would you be willing to find your future wife that way?
And, yes, I try to pursue friendships with guys. Unfortunately, all the guys that were my friends are no longer in my life. The only guys I know right now are my brother, my dad, and a bunch of boys under 16 from my church.
I've found that normally once I become a "really good friend" with a girl, any possibility of a romantic relationship is ended.
Thank you my friend! So true, I clap my hands for the person who's honest enough to admit that. That may just be the cynicism of my past experiences shining through, but I believe it.
Anyway, I can't buy into this courting idea. My sister (who I'm not close to anymore, and is very strict about relationships) gave me "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and while I respected the views of Mr. Harris I couldn't see myself courting anyone. The idea of me having to ask her dad or mom permission seems weird to me. Maybe if the two people in question are teens but I mean we're talking about two adults here right?
I also agree that courtship as it is practiced in many church's puts to much pressure on people.
_____________________________
Rock on!
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