RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (Full Version)

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Ephesians4_32 -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 12:39:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: deermousie

9 I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. 10 Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. 11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person.
12 For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? 13 But those who are outside God judges. Therefore “put away from yourselves the evil person.”
1 Cor. 5

Paul tells us to avoid people who call themselves Christians who are steeped in sin. He says you can't avoid non=Christians, which isn't the same thing as being friends with them.

God asks what fellowship does darkness have with light, which indicates we're poorly matched as intimate friends. But we do have relationship and sometimes shallow friendship with unbelievers. God saved me through a friend who was a Christian who showed me things in the Bible that made me realize it was true (Israel becoming a nation after almost 2000 years).

Our lives are lights.


Good post.



GroupW -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 12:59:09 AM)

I continue to have deep friendships with non-Christians. I'm not sure it breaks down quite so simply.

(Oh, and nice shoes there Eph!)



McFatty -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 1:52:00 AM)

I love my neighbors, regardless of their beliefs. Deliberately not being a friend isn't exactly love, nor is judging that they will never change.



SinnerSaved -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 3:17:18 AM)

I fail to see why Christians cannot have non-Christian friends.

After I was born again, I told my friends. My true friends were very happy for me, even though they were not saved themselves. Others drifted away from me, rather than me leaving them behind. I continue to witness to all of them when I can - maybe that's why some walked away from my friendship! I continue to have them as friends, but just do not partake in some of their activities.

I have found, however, many, many more friends (indeed my family of brothers and sisters) with whom I now have more in common and enjoy fellowship with them. We often meet for a meal together and discuss our individual walk with the Lord and our spiritual growth. Iron sharpens iron.

My mother, my siblings and my children are not Christians. I love them all deeply and witness to them when I can. Oh, I know their future if they do not repent and ask Jesus into their lives - it breaks my heart. But like my unsaved friends, I cannot abandon them and will not cease to love them.

And before anyone quotes Matthew 10:37 to me, No, I do not love any of them more than Him.



SonInMe1 -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 7:59:03 AM)

quote:

They did nothing but waste my time and energy and even were trouble-makers.


quote:

4And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.


A little example of my position..

When I was first saved I was on fire for God, as we probably allw ere. I directly witness to my dad..and he politely rebuked me so...I didn't bring the subject up again. However, my walk was my witness and a few years later my dad told my mom that one reason why he accepted the Lord was seeing the change in me.

If I followed your example, my dad would not have had my example. I am not sure that would have kept him from beiung saved, but it was a factor in his salvation. I didn't give up. I changed tactics.

An effective witness is one that involves a true relationship. You wanna be a street preacher, fine, it has its place in the kingdom, but most of us witness through our relationships with people. I'm not saying go to the brothel with them. Just be light.



Casper22 -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 10:48:15 AM)

I have no problems in having nonchristian friends. I have several and they love and respect me as I do them. How can someone be a light to the lost when they shun them because there not as we are. We constantly gripe and complain and Condem the so called intoolerant when we can shun just as bad. What about our loved ones who arent saved I have several of those in my family who arent saved and some who are Lesbian and Gay. And I love them as much as my Christian Family members. They havent gone out of there way to pollute my mind. They know how I feel and what I believe and they respect me. In return I respect them and when I share my faith with them they listen because I have respected them and loved them. Honestly tho I do have times with this issue myself and understanding exactly what it meens. How would a Christian explain intollerance and when is it ok to be intolerant hmm intolerant isnt the right word im trying to say. Where do we draw the line on sin? Is it ok to go to a friends house if there drinking an alcoholic beverage like several of my family drink and they bring it to our family get togethers and reunions what do you do in situations like that without causing a stink. Because you cant tell grown adults what they can or cannot do. I dont want to put myself in a position for temptation but there are certain things that you are expected to do with my family. Tradition is very important to them there Cherokee you cant just say no all the time. i love my family and I pray for them everyday and try to do right by them. What does unequaly yoked meen. Is that in reference to marital relations or everyday relations? take care my friends caspar



McFatty -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 10:54:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SonInMe1

I'm not saying go to the brothel with them. Just be light.


Off topic, but I've always thought of going to one of those places in Nevada, paying the girl for an hour of her time, and use the time to evangelize. Never had the guts (or the money) yet, but it's something I've always thought about.



earthless -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 10:57:29 AM)

A lot of our friends are not Christian - how are we to show God's grace to people and what He has done in us if we're going to isolate ourselves in a fake Westernized Christian bubble?

Absurd.



GroupW -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 10:58:58 AM)

For the record, I'm quite inspired by the general response to this thread. I find it very encouraging.



BibleBased -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 11:14:43 AM)

Yes this is another topic that regularly comes up on Christian sites.

Non christians - show them love when you have to interact with them, work, in shops, neighbours in the street. EVERY time you have a chance to talk to them, it is a special time to set a Christian example and share your/ our faith.

Christians/ believers - are your only REAL friends. Infact they are closer they are of the same FAMILY. Christ's family.

Where the problems begin.....Too many Christians see no difference between their friendships with non believers and the family of Christ. Infact they have closer friends with non believers. This is VERY dangerous. Because yes they deny Christ! They don't just deny God but also his Word the bible, which tells us how to be 'saved', but also how to live each day. How can i want to be close to ANYONE who does not love Jesus, and does not want his Word the bible?

There should be a difference between how you look at believers and non believers, and if there isn't, i'd do a self check on faith next? Do you believe the whole bible? Do you want to follow God's rules, only some perhaps?

That non believer is seperated from God, lives by satans rules and loves this world and the world loves them. They don't want the most important thing in your life - Jesus Christ. Don't trust them. You interaction with them must be always to try to 'save' them for Jesus. BibleBased.



GroupW -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 11:41:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BibleBased

Non christians - show them love when you have to interact with them, work, in shops, neighbours in the street. EVERY time you have a chance to talk to them, it is a special time to set a Christian example and share your/ our faith.


This reflects more separation between me and the rest of the world than I'm comfortable with. I think an effective witness by necessity involves a significant relationship with a non-Christian. I have close Christian friends and close non-Christian friends and consider it an Godly obligation to retain both. For me, the key is to maintain a healthy balance between the two. What that balance actually looks like is probably different for each individual based on their own circumstances.



SinnerSaved -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 12:37:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BibleBased

That non believer is seperated from God, lives by satans rules and loves this world and the world loves them. They don't want the most important thing in your life - Jesus Christ. Don't trust them.


So what advice, BB, would you give to a saved friend of mine, who is married to an unbelieving wife? She is not ready yet to accept Christ, as he did, after 15 years of marriage. Dont trust her?

Or what about my mother - a 'believer' who has not been born again? Don't trust her?

Or my daughter - a science teacher who simply cannot get her head around the Creation, and therefore has not yet been able to accept Jesus? Dont trust her?

Where is the love in this approach?



saraimay75 -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 1:39:10 PM)

Oh and another thing I am going to be a preschool teacher. It was God has called me to with my life. It is a part of my job...a requirement.

When you build a realationship with a child's parent you know more about the child and their family life. My realtionships have to go below the surface. This is what is best for the child.

Yes, I could get a job at or in a Christian preschool. But this does not mean much since not all the families who attend Christan preschools are Chistian.



earthless -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 1:51:29 PM)

I don't recall the notice that was sent out to all Christians that we're to be like Ned Flanders.



GroupW -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 1:57:51 PM)

As a practicing career dork: Who is Ned Flanders & why is he relevant here? I know I should be aware, but can someone educate me?

Inquiring minds want to know....



miasma -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 1:58:37 PM)

quote:

Deliberately not being a friend isn't exactly love, nor is judging that they will never change.


Thank you for that. Aside from my family, and a handful of on-line "friends," all of my friends are non-Christians. Including my two closest, bestest friends of many years.

One of the MOST BIZARRE things to ever happen to me was a friend saying it was me who led them to Christ. Simply by showing them Christians can be "cool." I never once "evangelized" or anything. I was just her friend.

I have many friends who call me up simply because they have a question, or need some advice about something, from a Christian perspective. Without me, all they know of Christianity is the Southern Baptist churches they grew to abhor and despise in childhood, and the headline-grabbers like Rev. Phelps, Jerry Falwell, etc.

I don't choose my friends for their doctrine. What sort of friendship would that be? I'm not friends with people who like the same favourite band I do, or eat at the same restaurant I do.

My friends are such because of all the things we have in common (or don't) and what wonderful, kind, beautiful people they are.



earthless -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 2:03:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GroupW

As a practicing career dork: Who is Ned Flanders & why is he relevant here? I know I should be aware, but can someone educate me?

Inquiring minds want to know....


Never seen the Simpsons? He is considered to be American's best known evangelical Christian, seriously.

Click the link to see his picture - for the full debriefing here is the Wiki

quote:


Ned's "unbearable piousness" has been described as "The Simpsons' sharpest critique of organized religion. The show's implicit argument seems to be that humorless obsessives like Ned have hijacked religious institutions, removing them from the centre of society to a place where only those who know their brides of Beth Chedruharazzeb from their wells of Zohassadar can seek solace."[23]

Although Flanders was meant to be a caricature of the Christian right, he has since become a favorite of many conservative Christian viewers.[18] He has been described as "[The United States]' most well-known evangelical."[34]

It has been said that "today on American college and high school campuses, the name most associated with the word Christian—other than Jesus—is not the Pope or Mother Teresa or even Billy Graham.

Instead, it's a goofy-looking guy named Ned Flanders on the animated sitcom known as The Simpsons. The mustache, thick glasses, green sweater, and irrepressibly cheerful demeanor of Ned Flanders, Homer Simpson's next-door neighbor, have made him an indelible figure, the evangelical known most intimately to nonevangelicals".[35]



GroupW -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 3:07:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthless
Never seen the Simpsons? He is considered to be American's best known evangelical Christian, seriously.


I told you I was a geek.[:D]

Thanks for the info! Now I'm socially literate again.



earthless -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 3:26:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GroupW

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthless
Never seen the Simpsons? He is considered to be American's best known evangelical Christian, seriously.


I told you I was a geek.[:D]

Thanks for the info! Now I'm socially literate again.


I'm a super geek myself.. so the reference doesn't quite cut it. [8D]

But I always make sure to stay on top of all the latest news, trends, etc... It's a hobby. [:)]



GroupW -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 3:29:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthless

But I always make sure to stay on top of all the latest news, trends, etc... It's a hobby. [:)]

I have a limited ability to multitask. I had to pick either a) news or b) trends. I picked news and as a result my wife has taken to forcing me to buy new clothes & gets veto rights.



earthless -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 3:32:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GroupW

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthless

But I always make sure to stay on top of all the latest news, trends, etc... It's a hobby. [:)]

I have a limited ability to multitask. I had to pick either a) news or b) trends. I picked news and as a result my wife has taken to forcing me to buy new clothes & gets veto rights.


Ha ha! Good man.. smart to let your wife choose. [:D]

I will boast about one thing, I can multi-task like very few others.



Ephesians4_32 -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 4:46:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GroupW

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthless
Never seen the Simpsons? He is considered to be American's best known evangelical Christian, seriously.


I told you I was a geek.[:D]

Thanks for the info! Now I'm socially literate again.


Are you saying I'm a geek, too? [:D] Maybe I am if I like pink leopards. I had never heard of Ned Flanders until this thread!



SoldierInGodsArmy -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/9/2008 10:06:10 PM)

Ned Flanders is my hero.[:)]



agapetos -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/10/2008 1:39:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GroupW

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthless
Never seen the Simpsons? He is considered to be American's best known evangelical Christian, seriously.


I told you I was a geek.[:D]

Thanks for the info! Now I'm socially literate again.

I didn't know who he was either ~ I've heard of the Simpsons, but never watched...



BerianAardvark -> RE: Can Christians have non Christian friends? (5/10/2008 2:56:09 PM)

In my experience, true friendships are based upon mutual interests. Is it possible for a Christian to have interests, hobbies and so on that are not, strictly speaking Christian?

There are things that are are spiritually neutral, lets take bowling as an example.

There is nothing in scripture that forbids (or demands) bowling , so making friends with people based upon a mutual interest in bowling is not something that is forbidden...indeed many churches sponsor bowling teams. BUT if bowling begins to "take over" my life, then it is forbidden to ME because it is in danger of becoming an idol, something I value more than God. That does not make it sinful to everyone, but it certainly makes it sinful for me to continue. The same is true with everything, including friendships and even things normally considered to be Christian...the Pharisees were so into following the Letter of the Law that they neglected the Spirit of the Law, and it became an idol to them, so that when the fulfillment of the Law came on the scene they couldn't recognize it when it was right in front of them.

Friendships, sometimes even those with other Christians can reach a point where they are in danger of becoming a stumbling block to us or to those around us.

So, in brief, yes we can have non-Christian friends, but those friendships will, of necessity, be limited because the most important thing in our lives (our relationship with God and Our Saviour) is not even a blip on their radar screen...hence the deepest levels of friendship, the ones based upon what is most important in our lives, is closed to them.

Tim



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