Breaking wind in front of Significant Other (Full Version)

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imit8him -> Breaking wind in front of Significant Other (5/16/2008 11:41:46 PM)

Hey everyone,

This was a hilarious comment my roommate's fiance said...we were discussing dating and relationship etiquette and the topic of embarassing moments came up and she mentioned that after six full years of dating and being now engaged that there is nothing she would be embarassed by in front of my roommate (her bf). [sm=rolleyes.gif] Now that's quite awesome to have between two people - a sense of unconditional love and trust. But then she mentioned that the two of them even fart in front of each other nowadays and it does not bother them, because they're so used to each other and it's a natural human function. ...True, it's normal to fart, but wow, does trust, love, and intimacy get to a point where it is that open? ....She said that the first four years or so of dating that the two of them were much more worried about little things like that, but over time, they don't care anymore and do not leave the room to fart and just openly fart around each other if they need to (rather than leaving or holding it in). [8|] [sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif] [sm=unsure.gif][sm=crazy.gif][sm=rollingeyes.gif][sm=shakinghead.gif]

Ok, so let me ask....how many of you are at this stage and what was it like getting there? I wonder if it is just me, but I personally cannot imagine ever farting openly and regularly in front of my spouse or girlfriend, no matter how comfortable we are with each other. [sm=icon_smile_approve.gif]....I guess it's personal preference, but I still like to keep such things private when possible.

What other etiquette or personal barriers are crossed after marriage? ....Do these things kind of dampen the "flames" of romance?

-Imit [:)]



DustyLady -> RE: Farting In Front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 8:24:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: imit8him

But then she mentioned that the two of them even fart in front of each other nowadays and it does not bother them, because they're so used to each other and it's a natural human function. ...True, it's normal to fart, but wow, does trust, love, and intimacy get to a point where it is that open?


Yes, certainly. To me, that's the ideal relationship with our significant other that we should be striving for. No secrets. No embarrassments. No shame. Hey, we fart in front of God all the time. I don't ever remember Him having a problem with it.

quote:

Ok, so let me ask....how many of you are at this stage and what was it like getting there?


Yes, we're there. It takes time. It takes being so totally comfortable in someone's presence that there's nothing he/she can do that would change that. It takes trust, knowing that whatever you do, that other person is going to accept you and still love you and still want to be with you.

Think about the typical marriage vows -- for better or for worse. If you can accept your lover's fart, you can accept just about anything. And, what better sign that you love him/her?

quote:

What other etiquette or personal barriers are crossed after marriage?


Oh, that's an easy one. Walking around the house naked. Leaving the bathroom door open when you use the toilet or take a bath. Brushing your teeth. Wearing those underpants that have holes in them. I could go on, but I won't.

quote:

....Do these things kind of dampen the "flames" of romance?


No, but being offended by them can. To me, it's much more romantic to know that there's nothing you could do or say that would change the way that person feels about you. What a comfortable feeling!

Dusty



stellaluna -> RE: Farting In Front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 9:18:27 AM)

My husband and I have no such hangups.



Memaw. -> RE: Farting In Front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 9:56:13 AM)

I wish Rick would go in the other room.[:D]
He "broke the ice" on our second date.
I waited till he said "I do", then got real comfortable.[;)]



pbaribeault -> RE: Farting In Front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 9:58:38 AM)

quote:

Walking around the house naked. Leaving the bathroom door open when you use the toilet or take a bath. Brushing your teeth. Wearing those underpants that have holes in them. I could go on, but I won't.
... Picking your nose. Digging out something you accidentally dropped in the garbage (or fishing out something from the toilet... then bleaching it). Use of feminine hygiene products. Having stinky feet. Shaving legs and/or armpits. Smelling your shirt to see if it's clean enough to wear again. Asking the other person to look at an odd lump, bruise, pimple or sore in a private area. Asking them to put wart remover on your feet where you can't reach it. Listening them clean up the results of your sickness while you lie in bed trying not to do it again.

Those are nowhere near what's embarrassing in marriage. What's embarrassing in marriage (to me) is when you loose your temper and say (shout) things that you never meant and can't believe you said. When you're feeling sleepy and childish and begin to cry over something that shouldn't bother a fly. When you've tried your best on something and ended up ruining it and now you both have to live with it. When you have a grand idea and spend a lot of money, then never get around to it and the materials just sit there and/or become unusable. When you realize that when you make an unwise choice regarding your children (although no one is a perfect parent) someone is there watching you and knows that you should have managed the situation better. When you've made a commitment to teamwork, but you've dropped your end of things and let the other person down.

Those things embarrass me. Wind is... wind.



fluffmonkey -> RE: Farting In Front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 10:47:11 AM)

In the begin he would try his best to hold his farts in or either walk off...and so would I but then we got point where sometimes they snuck out and we just laughed about and ever since then didnt care...we are comfortable with each other and we usually just laugh it off...sometimes I may go grab can of air freshner...or hold my hand over my nose...but stuff like doesnt really bother us...and we dont love each other any less.

But like Pbaribeault said what is embarassing is when you loose your temper and say things that you regret saying...when your speaking out of anger instead of love.



imit8him -> RE: Farting In Front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 12:03:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pbaribeault

quote:

Walking around the house naked. Leaving the bathroom door open when you use the toilet or take a bath. Brushing your teeth. Wearing those underpants that have holes in them. I could go on, but I won't.
... Picking your nose. Digging out something you accidentally dropped in the garbage (or fishing out something from the toilet... then bleaching it). Use of feminine hygiene products. Having stinky feet. Shaving legs and/or armpits. Smelling your shirt to see if it's clean enough to wear again. Asking the other person to look at an odd lump, bruise, pimple or sore in a private area. Asking them to put wart remover on your feet where you can't reach it. Listening them clean up the results of your sickness while you lie in bed trying not to do it again.



Mmm, maybe I need to marry a machine. [;)] I'm going to have to wait many years in my life before I am comfortable with all those things. I still like the illusion of the ideal partner you see in movies (where they don't do those things). ....

I realize it's all human nature and of course my parents are open that way....but most people don't think that way when they're just starting to date. [sm=chick.gif]



ladioffaith -> RE: Farting In Front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 12:27:37 PM)

Edited the title of this thread to make the main page a little more polite.

Carry on.

Di, Forums Moderator



DustyLady -> RE: Farting In Front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 12:47:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: imit8him

I realize it's all human nature and of course my parents are open that way....but most people don't think that way when they're just starting to date. [sm=chick.gif]


Starting to date, no. But I don't think of calling someone my "significant other" unless we have made some sort of a commitment to each other -- whether that be as boyfriend/girlfriend, or husband/wife. Part of what "significant" means is that this person is more important to you than anyone else. And that kind of feeling only comes with trust, and intimate knowledge of the other person's faults as well as their good qualities. Letting that person know she's significant to you is more than just telling her that you love her. It's showing her that you can put up with her when she's not perfect.

If you can't stand someone farting in front of you, how are you going to be able to tolerate it when she snores like a freight train?

Dusty



Sadey -> RE: Farting In Front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 1:05:26 PM)

I wonder what Miss Manners would say? After she picked herself up off of the floor.



saraimay75 -> RE: Farting In Front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 2:45:44 PM)

Here's the thing it happens to EVERYONE.

The Gas We Pass: The Story of Farts is a children's book written by Shinta Cho, published by Kane/Miller Book Publishers. The book tells children about flatulence (also known as farting), and that it is completely natural to do so. Everyone Poops is a prequel.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gas_We_Pass

The above is a book we red to preschoolers. So they learn how natural it is.



Kat_D -> RE: Farting In Front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 3:00:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: saraimay75

Here's the thing it happens to EVERYONE.

The above is a book we red to preschoolers. So they learn how natural it is.

It may be natural, but unless it accidentally slips out, I think it is disrespectful to just let go in front of others, no matter who it is. If you feel it coming, you should excuse yourself and go in the bathroom or outside to let it rip. While it can be funny every once in a while, it wouldn't be funny to me to have someone subject me to their massive explosions and the odor that comes from them.[:'(]

ETA...and yes, if it was my boyfriend or husband, it would take the romance away for me.[sm=worried.gif]



Ps103 -> RE: Farting In Front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 4:22:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sadey

I wonder what Miss Manners would say? After she picked herself up off of the floor.


She would say that socially such things do not exist, and should be ignored.[;)]

I cannot believe people are talking about this.[&:] I agree with Kat.



bluestone -> RE: Farting In Front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 4:40:26 PM)

Bodily functions are natural, but private. If one needs to expel gas, vomit, have a loose stool, etc. one should go into the privacy of a restroom or at least away from those who otherwise would have to endure the nasal effects of such activities.

Heavens![sm=icon_smile_faint.gif]



buckifn -> RE: Farting In Front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 6:04:31 PM)

It's a matter of respect. I don't care if I have been married twenty years or not I still want to respect my wife enough to excuse myself if possible.

Of course I also (we both) realize accidents do happen and it isn't always possible to make it to the restroom in time, or the trash can or the door if sick...we have both had turns of sickness where the hallway had to be cleaned despite our best efforts and we clean up after the one who is sick without even thinking about it...but to purposely behave rudely and force someone else to deal with it or else..no that is not respectful.

I think a lot of it may come down to how one is raised...I was raised to have respect for myself and those around me.



beefcake_sleuth -> RE: Breaking wind in front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 6:18:18 PM)

I don't find it to be disrespectful in the least. In fact, I'd be weirded out if my husband excused himself every time he had to pass "wind".



Bluemeadow -> RE: Breaking wind in front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 6:42:32 PM)

I am not ashamed of "breaking wind" in front of my husband. It happens and is part of being human. If you had to run off to another room each time, somedays you would be putting in alot of miles. I don't understand why people feel that this bodily functon should be hidden from someone that you know intimitely. Now as for "passing wind" when you are with a group pf friends is different. I feel you should put in the extra miles there!

As someone else mentioned; we break wind infront of God.



Bluemeadow -> RE: Breaking wind in front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 6:44:59 PM)

Please excuse my typos. I forgot to preview my message before I sent it. Thanks



james12-5 -> RE: Breaking wind in front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 6:47:19 PM)

If I expected my spouse to leave the room everytime there would be evening where we'd spend the whole night and evening in different parts of the house



Brandy -> RE: Breaking wind in front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 8:39:05 PM)

I think it's a silly argument to say "it's in how we were raised" unless you are talking a huge generational gap where you were brought up in Lucy and Desi times where beds were still separate.

I wonder more if it's a comfort thing.

I'd be really weirded out if we had to leave the room. That, to me, seems ridiculous. Gas is a normal process of digestion and it happens all the time whether it's heard or not. And many folk would be surprised at how often people pass gas around others and no one knows.

My husband makes a game out of his gas. It only ever smells if he's sick so he lets them rip and we laugh alot because of it. It's simply funny. It's not disrespectful in the least. There are many other marital things that would, can and have embarrassed me more than farting. This is the man who sees me vomit and offers to hold my hair. This is the man who will be seeing me deliver his child into the world in the next 3 wks. This is the man who I adore and love more than any other human and I crack up everytime he passes gas. I've heard him laugh at himself in the shower from a powerful one. I knew exactly why he was laughing even though I hadn't heard "it".

Imit - you may find that you never need to leave the room, you may be blessed with silent gas for your entire relationship. But don't let your knickers get wadded up if you slip one now and then and she giggles. If she doesn't giggle I'd be worried.

Don't give yourself a stomach ache over holding gas in, that's painful. And silly.

And I actually had a girl friend tell me once that she never farts. Ever. I called her a liar. I had known her long enough to have had slept over each others houses as kids and she passes wind like the rest of us, only she only ever does it when she's asleep. She was mortified and then laughed so hard she turned purple, she thought she was 'special' and didn't need to pass gas.



imit8him -> RE: Breaking wind in front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 9:50:27 PM)

Hey everyone, this has turned into a much funnier post than I expected. I appreciate all the comments.
[:)]
One thing I was thinking to play devil's advocate is that why would we fart in front of our significant other if we do not fart in front of people less special and loved?....Say our co-workers? Is it acceptable to fart in front of co-workers, because we are used to them and it is a natural bodily function? My office would definitely have a unique aroma, lol. [8D] (It seems according to the earlier logic, we fart in front of our spouse because we love and accept who they are....but if that is the case, why not be courteous and go elsewhere to do it?) [sm=icon_smile_approve.gif]

On the other hand, though, I know when watching kids play they fart all the time and laugh about it and have such a playful innocent heart. They supposedly "don't know better" and just don't care sometimes. That might be another kind of ideal to have - a child's heart and perspective.

Then again, if my co-workers farted all day in front of everyone, work would be pretty weird[sm=angelhalo.gif]

-Imit



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Breaking wind in front of Significant Other (5/17/2008 11:48:33 PM)

lol.

My husband has watched me give birth three times, mere flatulence is nothing on the bodily functions scale, if you're measuring what most people consider gross. [8D]

We do try to avoid stinking up a room (out of courtesty) and are teaching our children to excuse themselves if they can, but sometimes it just happens and it's nothing to be ashamed of. I am a seriously modest, easily embarassed person, but I actually got used to this part of married life quickly.



DustyLady -> RE: Breaking wind in front of Significant Other (5/18/2008 6:36:03 AM)

OK, here's one for you. How about farting during sex? It's happened to me, and we just giggled a bit about it and went on with what we were doing. It didn't spoil the moment, or add to it. It just was.

My earlier comments may have made it sound like I go around the house letting it rip all the time. The truth is that I do try to hold it in, but there are times when it just comes out. I can't remember ever having any kind of warning that would have given me time to go in the other room -- at most, I can try to keep it silent. I guess my husband just loves me enough that he knows this is a natural function, and can't be helped. And doesn't love me any less for it.

As for farting at work, I've had it happen. I just say, "Excuse me," and go on with what I'm doing. Oh, yeah, people may giggle. But I don't let it interfere with my opinion of anyone, regardless of where I am.

Dusty



car2ner -> RE: Breaking wind in front of Significant Other (5/18/2008 7:37:56 AM)

My son and his gal were having this discussion last night. She wanted advance notice so that she could somehow prepare for it. She asked me how I would feel if my husband passed gas without warning me. I leaned over and asked him "how would I feel". We laughed a bit and then I explained that guys tend to not only flatulate but brag about it afterwards, like it is a blessed event. Then m'love and his son gave each other a high five.

(sigh) men...................gotta luv em



Kat_D -> RE: Breaking wind in front of Significant Other (5/18/2008 10:53:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DustyLady

OK, here's one for you. How about farting during sex? It's happened to me, and we just giggled a bit about it and went on with what we were doing. It didn't spoil the moment, or add to it. It just was.

[sm=aside.gif]

Honey, that's just way TMI!!!

Is nothing private anymore?

Yuk!

Edited to add my last sentiment![sm=shakinghead.gif]



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