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RE: Casual dating - 6/15/2008 6:28:43 PM
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MissInnocent
Posts: 152
Joined: 5/3/2005
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Ben, I'm gonna give you that one. While I stand by my I won't "date" a man unless we both hope it will lead to marriage.... I also think the idea of a man and woman, esp. boyfriend and girlfriend can never be alone together prior to marriage is ...how do I put this...NUTS. I know couples who had lots of time together that refrained from sex. It's called committment to God and one's vow of abstainence.
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RE: Casual dating - 6/15/2008 10:31:15 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 6764
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Cloak
Tink & the poster: Get the book "Boundaries in dating" by Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. It will open your eyes on so many things in dating scenarios. A real good resource for all singles anticipating to date sometime.
Having "been there" and "done that" without the t-shirt, I'm quite aware as to how to 'date' as a Christian.
I agree completely with Ben. I enjoy having fun. I don't put ridiculous limits on myself for anything. My best friend comes over and stays until all hours of the night. We watch movies, we talk, we read scripture, we discuss our lives. Oh...did I mention he's a man?
Not to mention I'm not a naive little child stepping in the 'big skeery world of dating'. *grin* I just think that labeling everything can get tiresome and frustrating. Just relax, be yourself, stay true to yourself and let God work out the rest.
*huggles*
_____________________________
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RE: Casual dating - 6/16/2008 8:36:03 AM
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Cloak
Posts: 4164
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Canada
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 1love1God1way
Goodness.
Now two Christians can't be in the same room together?
I think we have taken our fears to such an extreme level.
I stick with my stance. Christians forget how to have fun. We are too worried. Christians can't just date and enjoy each others company. . . they have to be planning for marriage. Ridiculous.
This is in an IDEALISTIC world and of course there are some exceptions to this rule. However, bc I care A LOT about people and I do NOT want the worst scenario for them, I prefer to say NO to being alone indoors to myself and to them.
I have male friends and used to take coffee with them either inside my place or coffee shop. What I came out of this experience is that you CAN be lucky and saved some sinful situations. But luck does not always come around.
Last year, I invited a son of a minister to my place for an urgent matter who refused even though I am not attracted to this man and he was my instructor in Bible study in the church where I used to attend.
Come to think of it...he was wiser and more prudent than me even tho he is younger than me. May be I trust myself, but what about him. The fact that he refused to come over tells me that he probably has some weakness or vulnerability toward the fair sex, hence his refusal to come over and I WAS Naive in trying to idealize the situation.
The Bible tells us to refrain from the appearance of evil. If inviting him to my place is not evil to me; I must remember it could be a source of temptation to him which in this case it seems it is.
Yes Tow opposite sex Christians CAN have fun if they both trust themselves, but these cases are few and far between, sadly. Thus, caution is needed in MOST cases.
_____________________________
And My God shall meet ALL Your Needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 19)
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RE: Casual dating - 6/16/2008 11:36:21 PM
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1love1God1way
Posts: 2196
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: online
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The male friend and the minister's son are not what we are talking about.
We are talking about in a dating relationship.
And I'll stick with my guns. . . two healthy Christian adults don't need to live a life of fear of sin. They can enjoy themselves and remain pure.
_____________________________
love.ben
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RE: Casual dating - 6/17/2008 12:07:38 AM
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MissInnocent
Posts: 152
Joined: 5/3/2005
Status: offline
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I agree with Ben.
Ebony I like your definition...It's just that "exclusive" thing that gets me. I couldn't date a man that I thought might be seeing other women too. 
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RE: Casual dating - 6/19/2008 8:34:21 AM
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Ninjaearth
Posts: 67
Joined: 2/16/2008
From: Washington, D.C. - Maryland
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Cloak
There is nothing wrong or unbiblical about dating or casual dating provided being mature Christian and preferably dating Mature Christian fellow to be on the safe side. This is the way God created people to get to know each other. I also believe that a wise Christian would be in communication with God and other mature believers asking them to pray for them during this whole process.
I am sure during biblical times people dated, otherwise how would they know each other, even if physical attraction!
Actually, the concept of "dating" didn't exist back then. It was arranged marriages in the days of the patriarchs, bought together and bound by the law of Moses, and done for alliances in the days of the kings. The Bible in no way supports dating; rather it's better said that the Bible gives no principles for dating. What I mean by this, is that you won't a passage that will talk about what to do or how to act on a date. However, the Bible does give some principals on being single just as it does give details and principals on being married. To answer your second question, this idea of physical attraction probably wouldn't have been an issue very much, because at most times the marriages were between clan members (patriarchs) and own people (not foreigners). There are some occasions in Scripture where it was clear that some men were interested in women because they were beautiful: rape of Tamar in Genesis, David's daughter was also beautiful, Ruth was beautiful to Boaz, Jacob and Rachel. So, yeah, it played a part; but even then, it wasn't like "let's get to know each other" because in most cases they would distant family, even if they weren't known very well. I don't think many of them would be as independent as much as we are today, given the fact that they were a different culture and we have a culture that gives us the freedom to decide for ourselves (instead of our families arranging marriages).
So, I hope everyone gets what I'm saying. While the Bible doesn't biblical support the notion of dating (as in you find a passage anywhere about it and it wasn't a practice given back then, based on the context and teaching of Scripture), it does give basis to how singles should act. In general, it tells how the men and women of God to act. In Titus, you have passage concerning the behavior of single young men and women. This can be used to help young adults (like myself) have the proper attitude towards women both my age, younger, and older. It also gives details on what a Godly character looks like (for both man and woman); all of this can be helpful when you are dating and finding a suitable mate for marriage. Ultimately, though, to date or not to date is really up to the individual. Also, don't expect to read biblical principles from Scripture that deal with dating, but keep in mind that it does say plenty about being a single individual and a Godly character. This itself can be used to help determine who is datable and who is not (for us as Christians, we can't go outside the family > unbelievers, 2 Cor talks about being unequally yoke, the context being unbelievers and does not include mature believers pairing up immature believers, as this wasn't a case in the OT of Israel just as long as it was Israel and Israel and not Israel and Baal). However, it is important to really think about who you will eventual marry and keep in God's hands prayerfully because Adam did have someone "suitable" for him. In dating, (whatever you define it to be, which is really the issue) just keep in mind that men are to treat women as sisters (same age or younger) and mothers (if older) and vice versa.
Any questions on anything, please let me know. God bless!!!
_____________________________
"Spiritual Soldier Ninjaearth"
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