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RE: How would you react. - 6/27/2008 3:41:56 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6313
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Calea37
I have dysfunctional people in my life and no matter how much counseling I have gotten these people continue to be dysfunctional. LOL
Very true, but it's not about changing them. The therapy would be so show her how to deal with how she handles them.
quote:
Kat_D
Light, you know, they may use all those reasons they give you for not taking their meds, but in actuality it may be because they know they cannot drink when they are on them. Anti psychotics and alcohol can be deadly and they probably are well aware of this fact.
I had two friends who told me that if I follow drs. orders, then they couldn't be there for me. I tested them and they stood by that.
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agapetos:
It may mean that it's classed as therapy, but that doesn't mean there's something unbalanced with you ~ just that you've spent so long doing things one way you can't always see things in a different way ~ sometimes it's useful to have an outsiders input.
Exactly.
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RE: How would you react. - 6/28/2008 12:23:51 AM
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lightshineon
Posts: 3463
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Thank you all, I have learned alot, maybe right I wish I knew in my small town, someone avalible. Here is the latest, This morning I went to pick up SIL to take her to the store. Randall walked out with her, he had the Tobacco in his hands, coming towards the car. I said " No, Randall no Tabacco on my car. He said "S" You and "F" you two words with the same meaning, turned around walked back to his apartment. Lisa got in the car, semed upset making excuses for the cussing. I explained to her why, I told him no. She said he sometimes spits tabacco in the floor at home. ( gross). I took her to store, and right back home. He calls me on my cell phone and says " Do not ever come back to my house again!", and hung up on me. That really ticked me, because I ws there doing them a favor, which I did not mind. BTW, husband said that he could get in car with out tabacco, because he walked out with Lisa, which was unexpected, so I called him. I went to work, and my thought about my tone which was harsh, but, it did not condone his actions. I talked to mom while I was at work, Mom said Lisa called, and told her I had talked to Randall very meanly." She also said though he spits it in the floor, he would not in my car> I thought why not? Tommorow is his B-day. We used to be very close, he always had problems, but before drugs was kind and sensative to God. My SIL looked defeated, she is so sweet, and humble. Yes the music is like we acted as kids, no I have not found a baby huey carseat, but there may be diapers to fit him. He is so ate up with bitterness, I wish he was not that way now. Ok, this not co-dependent, maybe I should have not sound so harsh, but, I was still mad about Sunday night. I am a person who does not enjoy being harsh, not because I am a coward. I am a spitfire at times, and not scared of any person ( how many TOS) have I had? I will be kind when I can. I do not know why God put me in the situation, but he did. I know he has a reason. Maybe it is to develope fruit, maybe boundries, maybe many reasons. I learned from everyone and the encouragment has been great. Maybe Iwill pray to find a Therapist ( a Christian). And I m so glad my friend that owns a shop cares about the reputation, and the no smoking. I do not know why I did not say anything, It was spechless moment, I guess.
_____________________________
Remember, whenever you have pearls, there are always plenty of pigs nearby who would be glad to step on them.
F.T., 2007
Be sure you vote for those, whose views you want your children to emulate.
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RE: How would you react. - 6/28/2008 1:21:40 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2528
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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First of all, you have a wonderful husband, because he was doing his job and making an effort to protect you.
Secondly, to all those who said Schizophrenia does not affect manners that is NOT NECESSARILY true..my good friend has it, and she is normally a polite, kind person, but when she gets into an episode, she can really get belligerent, and sometimes say bad words she would never say otherwise. Also, when I had lyme disease, in the early stages, I was affected mentally, and it could cause me to have negative behaviors at times. That's not to say my friend and I aren't responsible, but we do have, what our parents (3 out of 4 which are counselors), call diminished responsibility..sort of like we are responsible and we aren't all at the same time.
I think one of the biggest issues here beyond the incident in the car is your brother not taking his meds. That is the first situation that has got to somehow be dealt with.
I will say more later, but it's getting to be bedtime, and I'm losing my coherence.
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: How would you react. - 6/29/2008 12:31:56 PM
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GregandJenny
Posts: 541
Joined: 2/16/2006
From: Near Seattle Washington
Status: online
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Pray! I don't mean a little prayer, a mean a prayer that will literally move the hand of God to intervene. You really need God's help in this. God can still move the Mountains.
G
_____________________________
The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you
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RE: How would you react. - 7/2/2008 9:25:53 PM
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lightshineon
Posts: 3463
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Thank You everyone. for prayers and encouragement. I went ahead and bought him a 25 dollar, Wal-mart card, for his B-day. They do not sell beer at this wal-mart. I sent my daughter, over his partment with it. I knew they were broke until the 3rd, so I fiqured they needed things, so I bought the card. Later he called on my cell phone, and apologized to me, saying he was disrespectful. I forgave him of course, I love him. He said he would not, do tabbaco in my car anymore. I told him, it was mainly that he said I was full of "S", though the car mattered of course too. Dealing with people with problems is not easy, and I do not know why, I was born into this family situation, but, God must of had a reason, maybe to make me a better person. It maybe to learn boundries, and compassion, I do not know I still am in the learning, growing mode. Thanks again.  Like I said,he is family, and whatever his faults or mine, we still will always love each other.
_____________________________
Remember, whenever you have pearls, there are always plenty of pigs nearby who would be glad to step on them.
F.T., 2007
Be sure you vote for those, whose views you want your children to emulate.
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RE: How would you react. - 7/2/2008 10:02:48 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3201
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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So happy to hear that it turned out that way, Light. It was a very loving thing to do to send the gift card and your brother seems to have responded to that love.
You are right, we are often put in difficult situations, especially family ones, and only God knows why. I pray He would continue to give you wisdom and insight in your relationship with your brother and that He would bless you big-time!
Hugs!
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: How would you react. - 7/2/2008 10:06:33 PM
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lightshineon
Posts: 3463
Joined: 4/11/2005
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The same to you sister, and thank you. I was thinking of the verse love never fails, when I bought the card.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Kat_D
So happy to hear that it turned out that way, Light. It was a very loving thing to do to send the gift card and your brother seems to have responded to that love.
You are right, we are often put in difficult situations, especially family ones, and only God knows why. I pray He would continue to give you wisdom and insight in your relationship with your brother and that He would bless you big-time!
Hugs!
_____________________________
Remember, whenever you have pearls, there are always plenty of pigs nearby who would be glad to step on them.
F.T., 2007
Be sure you vote for those, whose views you want your children to emulate.
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RE: How would you react. - 7/3/2008 6:42:18 AM
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agapetos
Posts: 5612
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
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quote:
Dealing with people with problems is not easy, and I do not know why, Perhaps because none of us are perfect and in pointing out the faults of others we are at risk of either giving the impression we think we are perfect or opening ourselves up to have our own faults pointed out.
Again, I do think that it may benefit you to get some support to look at ways you could deal with issues with your brother. If you can't get it, there may be books that you could borrow from the library on the subject.
_____________________________
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
My blog
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RE: How would you react. - 7/3/2008 9:47:36 AM
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lightshineon
Posts: 3463
Joined: 4/11/2005
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I am getting the book boundries, and have set in in a connection group at class, that deals with people with addictions, and people who have families with addictions, also deals with people with family problems. So see I took advice, I quite enjoyed the class, and learned things. 
quote:
ORIGINAL: agapetos
quote:
Dealing with people with problems is not easy, and I do not know why, Perhaps because none of us are perfect and in pointing out the faults of others we are at risk of either giving the impression we think we are perfect or opening ourselves up to have our own faults pointed out.
Again, I do think that it may benefit you to get some support to look at ways you could deal with issues with your brother. If you can't get it, there may be books that you could borrow from the library on the subject.
_____________________________
Remember, whenever you have pearls, there are always plenty of pigs nearby who would be glad to step on them.
F.T., 2007
Be sure you vote for those, whose views you want your children to emulate.
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mart card, for his B-day. They do not sell beer at this Wal 
