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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 8/29/2008 11:27:37 AM
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beachcooky
Posts: 893
Joined: 6/21/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: collybird
Hi everyone! I'm in a similar situation but I am quite comfortable with it at the moment.
At 24 I find myself with more things in common with younger teenagers, I like talking about TV, movies, shoppinh and just hanging out. Very innocent things, I don't drink, I hate bars etc and although I'm often invited to those types of places I always decline.
In the UK there is literally no way I know of meeting any other Christians around my age, we don't have youth groups etc. I'm hoping to spend the summer after I graduate (in 2010) as a counselor at a faith camp so that I can meet fellow Christians.
This thread makes me feel better about myself to know that I'm not alone, thank you guys.
Wait--there's no youth groups in the UK??
That's kinda weird. You can do other stuff then going to the bar (which you don't). Join a group. Maybe a book club or something. I don't know what kind of clubs you have over there. And you're in college? Well, university as you call it over there (I have two friends that live in the UK), you can meet tons of people there. Maybe in your classes. I made a few friends my second class. You just need to step out of your comfort your zone. Say, "Hey! Names (your name). What's your major?" Or something like that.
I am very shy when I meet new people. But I want to meet new people and whatnot. Don't expect them to come up to you, because chances are they won't. So I just introduce myself. Make small talk. No one's going to look at you weird, no one's going to judge you. There's nothing to be afraid of.
And trust me, adults like the things you do as well. I have a 22 year old friend who plays video games. Heck, my whole YOUTH group plays Halo and whatnot. Adults talk about movies as well. Don't be intimidated by people. It is up to you to make friends!! Stay strong!
_____________________________
www.myspace.com/xsweetheartforux
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 8/31/2008 8:05:31 PM
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collybird
Posts: 4
Joined: 8/7/2008
From: UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: beachcooky
quote:
ORIGINAL: collybird
Hi everyone! I'm in a similar situation but I am quite comfortable with it at the moment.
At 24 I find myself with more things in common with younger teenagers, I like talking about TV, movies, shoppinh and just hanging out. Very innocent things, I don't drink, I hate bars etc and although I'm often invited to those types of places I always decline.
In the UK there is literally no way I know of meeting any other Christians around my age, we don't have youth groups etc. I'm hoping to spend the summer after I graduate (in 2010) as a counselor at a faith camp so that I can meet fellow Christians.
This thread makes me feel better about myself to know that I'm not alone, thank you guys.
Wait--there's no youth groups in the UK??
That's kinda weird. You can do other stuff then going to the bar (which you don't). Join a group. Maybe a book club or something. I don't know what kind of clubs you have over there. And you're in college? Well, university as you call it over there (I have two friends that live in the UK), you can meet tons of people there. Maybe in your classes. I made a few friends my second class. You just need to step out of your comfort your zone. Say, "Hey! Names (your name). What's your major?" Or something like that.
I am very shy when I meet new people. But I want to meet new people and whatnot. Don't expect them to come up to you, because chances are they won't. So I just introduce myself. Make small talk. No one's going to look at you weird, no one's going to judge you. There's nothing to be afraid of.
And trust me, adults like the things you do as well. I have a 22 year old friend who plays video games. Heck, my whole YOUTH group plays Halo and whatnot. Adults talk about movies as well. Don't be intimidated by people. It is up to you to make friends!! Stay strong!
Thank you so much for your advise but I don't think I explained myself very well (I'm sorry), I am in a similar situation to others in this thread but also very different - similiar in that I don't have a lot of friends but dissimiliar in that this is through choice.
Long before I was saved I had lots of friends, but I took a long hard look at my life and realised that these weren't the type of friends I truly wanted, I couldn't be myself around them. Since then I have vowed only to make friends with people I can be myself around so I have a small group of friends who I am very grateful for.
I have friends at uni and I have friends at work but I don't spend a lot of time with them as I'm a loner. I would rather be alone than be around people. (Freaky I know!) I am very, very happy with how my life is at the moment.
What I don't have and very much would like is some Christian friends, that's one thing none of my friends have in common with me and unfortunately I have never met another Christian (where I live) even close to my age. I went to Catholic school and of 130 people in my year only 2 of them went to mass, can you believe that!?
When I said there wasn't any youth groups I meant that there isn't any I know of for people around our age where I live (I can't really speak for the country as a whole lol, although reading it back it did sound like I was). I did a little research and I know there's a YMCA group here but it's for kids.
Thanks again!
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 9/1/2008 12:21:18 AM
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beachcooky
Posts: 893
Joined: 6/21/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
I have friends at uni and I have friends at work but I don't spend a lot of time with them as I'm a loner. I would rather be alone than be around people. (Freaky I know!) I am very, very happy with how my life is at the moment.
Hey, as long as you're happy with that! Nothing's wrong with being a loner! :p
I'm semi a loner, haha. So it's all good.
quote:
What I don't have and very much would like is some Christian friends, that's one thing none of my friends have in common with me and unfortunately I have never met another Christian (where I live) even close to my age.
Ah yes, I struggle with this same thing. Keep praying for it. He will help ya. God gave me friends...but I don't know, since they weren't really Christians. But I didn't ask? Haha, I don't know. But I never used to have friends and I felt so lonely in this world and I shut EVERYONE out and started hating EVERYONE. Literally. This was in 8th grade (12 or 13 years old, I don't remember).
But keep seeking God, he will provide you with Christian friends if you truly want some! Which I supposed you do, since you posted this :)
_____________________________
www.myspace.com/xsweetheartforux
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 9/18/2008 2:32:36 AM
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etrojan78
Posts: 2
Joined: 9/14/2008
Status: offline
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Hey Breanne, you be fine. im 21 yrs old and have only 2 christian friends and at times feel lonely but i know i rather take advantage of the alone time and give it to God then be out doing things people our age are doing, knowing and feeling conviction in my heart. im over all that. So where u from? has it gotten better for u since u posted this in June? let me know. im from cali. --Eric
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 9/18/2008 4:48:55 AM
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FurGodWurLivin
Posts: 952
Joined: 4/17/2005
From: Kansas City, MO
Status: offline
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Wow... has this thread really been open since June?
Randy, I have invisible friends to spare. If you like, I'll send some them over with a couple DVD of the Beverly Hillbillies and a mug of cocoa...
Adam
PS: You're just jealous that the voices only talk to meeeeeeee....
_____________________________
I am hyena, Jesus is my Mufasa...
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 9/27/2008 4:21:20 AM
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laughing4lily
Posts: 27
Joined: 9/26/2008
Status: offline
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I'm in a similar situation right now. I suggest being a little more bold about it. Don't expect friends to come to you, go look for them! And if they don't accept you, move on to the next one! There are a lot of people just like you out there, you just have to be willing to look. That's the reason I came here. I currently only have a few friends myself and its been hard dealing with my mom's death. I tend to retract when I'm emotional and have to push myself to find the support that I need. (Yeah, I say this then crawl back into my little hole. Seriously, I'm trying my best!) Picking up a new hobby is a great way to find new friends. It helped me out in college! Just don't be like me and lose contact with them. A mistake I now deeply regret.
~Lily~
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 9/30/2008 1:13:15 PM
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gradeasmarts
Posts: 4
Joined: 9/29/2008
Status: offline
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I've lived that once. When in 8th grade i came to school and just let it all out. I was the most shy person around and I just talked to everyone I could see. I became instant friends with everybody...which in turn is when I did most of my earlier sinning. I then picked and chose my good friends. Now I hang out with everyone only with a kind heart. I hang out with 15 year old's, 17yr old's, 18, 19, 25, 40, and 56...all great people and all have great experiences for me to pick up on. I have had a fulfilling life for my age and you will too if you just...let it all out. You will be surprised. Just be careful some people look harmless but indeed carry with them a lot of sins.
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 10/19/2008 3:32:02 AM
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SR20FL
Posts: 33
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: beachcooky
It is ultimately up to YOU to make friends. Don't expect everyone to come to you!
That's true. One good thing to know is that all you gotta do to meet good friends is just BE THERE (physically) and BE YOURSELF. Just be there; that's all it really takes, The rest is history. You'll connect with a lot of people and then after some time, you will know who your new "best friend" will be. The ones you can call up out of nowhere and head over to their house or to get something to eat or something. I don't even have a best friend anymore since I moved 2,700 miles away from FL to Cali. Keep praying and "being there" :).
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 10/23/2008 12:50:23 PM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2555
Status: offline
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My problem isn't finding friends, it's finding good ones who challenge my walk with the Lord,
ones that help me grow in Him. I also find that I seem to see people for who they could be,
instead of who they are, which has caused me a lot of heartbreak...in fact, it caused me to have
to kind of back off talking to my BFF, and it's been really hard on and for me.
My youth pastor says to reach out to those you need to be a witness to, and to make sure your
BFF is on the same page as you, I guess that's where I went wrong...for about the millionth time...
_____________________________
<I wanna sing like no one is listening to me and if they are...I hope they sing along@
'Cause, you couldn't see me coming with the lights out...
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 11/15/2008 3:20:41 PM
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lea84
Posts: 63
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
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Wow I can really relate to you here. I think a big issue is that people have a hard time finding friends who will reciprocate the friendship for genuine reasons and who share your faith. It's difficult because a lot of people even my age--24-- still want to live in the moment and do stupid and immature things. I've found that I can barely get along with people my age and I end up attracting people who are in their late 20's and even 30's! Ahh it can be a pain for sure.
Also many people are set in their cliques if they have one and aren't interested in learning about anyone new or meeting anyone new.
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