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RE: What's my line? - 7/1/2008 7:11:51 PM
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okrox
Posts: 138
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
well i think this is where ideas from the thread in praise of casual dating can be helpful. if someone is shy, nervous, new to dating, afraid, etc ... becoming more familiar with the opposite sex through no pressure "dates" will certainly help relax someone and get them more comfortable maintaining conversation and learning "lines". if something is a problem, why avoid it and not gain experience to develop yourself.
EXACTLY my point. How do you get better at something? Practice. How do you reduce anxiety about a situation? Set yourself up to succeed in small, safe situations.
Roxie
AKA the "Casual Date Crusader"
(I just will not let it die, will I?)
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Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be 'til I die.
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RE: What's my line? - 7/1/2008 7:44:42 PM
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trainfan
Posts: 2751
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quote:
That's what you need. You need something that will make you feel confident in yourself to take with you so when you see an opportunity you don't hesitate to grab it. *huggles*
That is exactly the type of thing I am looking for. Things I (or others) can have ready to say to start a conversation. Once a conversation is going I generally can keep it going after a minute or 2. It's getting a conversation started (which is generally the most important part) where I have the most problem.
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RE: What's my line? - 7/1/2008 9:06:43 PM
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DrivenbyGod
Posts: 161
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I don't try to pick up women at the Grocery store or anywhere since I have no clue who they are or what they believe, although I'am tempted to at times.
If the situation does call for action - one thing that's very simple is if you're in the same isle is just say excuse me have you tried this brand of whatever it is... although, hopefully you're not looking at toilet paper.
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RE: What's my line? - 7/1/2008 10:37:29 PM
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okrox
Posts: 138
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quote:
ORIGINAL: trainfan
quote:
ORIGINAL: okrox
quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
well i think this is where ideas from the thread in praise of casual dating can be helpful. if someone is shy, nervous, new to dating, afraid, etc ... becoming more familiar with the opposite sex through no pressure "dates" will certainly help relax someone and get them more comfortable maintaining conversation and learning "lines". if something is a problem, why avoid it and not gain experience to develop yourself.
EXACTLY my point. How do you get better at something? Practice. How do you reduce anxiety about a situation? Set yourself up to succeed in small, safe situations.
Roxie
AKA the "Casual Date Crusader"
(I just will not let it die, will I?)
That makes sense, assuming you can find people in your area. 
That's why God made Yahoo.
_____________________________
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be 'til I die.
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RE: What's my line? - 7/1/2008 10:38:59 PM
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okrox
Posts: 138
Joined: 4/28/2005
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I wish I could figure out how to add smileys.
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Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be 'til I die.
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RE: What's my line? - 7/1/2008 10:49:21 PM
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okrox
Posts: 138
Joined: 4/28/2005
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 Oh! I get it thanks!
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Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be 'til I die.
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RE: What's my line? - 7/2/2008 7:47:25 AM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 1836
Joined: 11/8/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: okrox
quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
well i think this is where ideas from the thread in praise of casual dating can be helpful. if someone is shy, nervous, new to dating, afraid, etc ... becoming more familiar with the opposite sex through no pressure "dates" will certainly help relax someone and get them more comfortable maintaining conversation and learning "lines". if something is a problem, why avoid it and not gain experience to develop yourself.
EXACTLY my point. How do you get better at something? Practice. How do you reduce anxiety about a situation? Set yourself up to succeed in small, safe situations.
Roxie
AKA the "Casual Date Crusader"
(I just will not let it die, will I?)
Okrox, I think that you've got a point here. But it doesn't have to be dating, of course. And I will make the point that some people need some preparation to feel more confident when they finally DO meet someone in person.
Taking something with you to start a conversation about is a great idea. Craig, do you have something: an unusual piece of train memorabilia or something small enough to carry with you? That could help you get started on any number of topics that are of interest to YOU and something YOU would be comfortable talking about.
But there's also other things that can be done. I once went through a training seminar for Christians: most of the stuff I learned there has since been proved unscriptural. But one of the things I learned was to prepare questions in my head to ask ahead of time. For the purpose of this discussion most of those questions are too personal. Nevertheless, we could all come up with good questions for each other to customize for our own use and practice in our heads so we have them ready for the opportunities God puts in front of us.
John_O is prolly really good at this: hey John...are you around? Could you contribute some good lines to help start a conversation with a perfect stranger?
I personally have already shown one way, even though I wasn't the actual starter of the conversation. I was able to discern that Onstar was a topic of interest to the person and offer some knowledge of mine that got a conversation started.
I think asking questions is a good beginning. When I do this, I usually try to find something in the person's last comment that I can springboard off of into another question that will get them talking. Yeah, with some people, this is hard or even impossible: they obviously don't want to be bothered. Fine. I leave them alone. But some people will open up and give you all sorts of clues and voila', you have a great conversation started.
besiderself
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If we are concerned about truth because it is beautiful and good, we will not wield it as a sword to slash…offer truth humbly, as something of great value…guard against…tainting it with a prideful, callous or defensive delivery.
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RE: What's my line? - 7/2/2008 9:45:41 AM
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John_O
Posts: 7128
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quote:
ORIGINAL: besiderself
John_O is prolly really good at this: hey John...are you around? Could you contribute some good lines to help start a conversation with a perfect stranger?
With a perfect stranger?
OK How about "You're perfect please marry me!?"
Oh. Wrong kind of perfect. You mean someone I've never seen before?. Hmmmmmm.
If they have kids or animals that's always an easy in. but you've got to check the ring finger before approaching.
1. Oddly enough, even though it is cheesy, an inquiring look followed by a "Don't I know you?"* normally works pretty well. Almost everyone looks like someone you know and you can usually talk long enough to find if they are interested and available. Most people reply "(hesitantly as if they are trying to remember you) I don't think so, where are you from" or something like that. If they respond that opens the door to ask where they go to church, where they grew up, those sorts of questions. The key transition is the change from trying to figure out who they are to establishing the conversation as new friends. "well apparently I don't know you yet. But I sure have enjoyed talking with you" If they respond positively then you can ask if they'd like to sit down somewhere and talk some more, or perhaps get together later.
* Please note that I would only do this if I really think I know them, I run into people like that at least once a week.
2. Asking questions almost always works. If she thinks you're cute etc she will respond positively. Just keep talking. Again end with "I've really enjoyed talking with you, would you like to sit down somewhere and continue our conversation or perhaps get together later?" or some other asking out but not quite asking out question.
Important notice: I've not used any of these techniques in quite a while as I've only recently begun searching again. However they did work well back then.
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: What's my line? - 7/2/2008 4:16:25 PM
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ju-ju
Posts: 66
Joined: 4/28/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
Depending on the woman and the situation any line or approach can make you seem like a creep, moron or desperate guy. You can't let that stop you. Some women are just like that or are having bad days etc.
Normally if you can get her laughing you're most of the way home. The approach would differ according to where you are and who she is.
I'll admit I seldom meet people in stores etc (But then I've not been looking too long). I am a master of the drive by compliment though. Just a few hours ago in teh airport I approached a lady in passing, caught her eye and said "You have beautiful eyes" She kind of blushed, smiled and said thank you. If it wasn't for my plane boarding I would have had an opening to talk some more "Traveling on business or vacation?" "where are you going?". Ask questions that need more than a yes or no to answer and read her mood as she answers. If she's receptive or enjoying the conversation then keep going.
And of course the weather always works.
Just be confident (for some reason women like that) be cheerful and have fun.
Dear John, I've read a lot of your posts since I started on CW and you have some really good insight when it comes to women. You are right on the money, or at least in my opinion as a woman.
I have to agree that, even though it would be fairly obvious a guy is trying to start up a conversation with me, a non-invasive, non-pushy, unscarey topic like the weather would be a good start. If I'm not interested or just having a bad day or whatever, I can at least stay friendly for a moment and then leave him with a polite smile. No harm done to either of us (i would hope).
I have to say that I'd be THOROUGHLY embarrassed if some man came up to me and just straight out said I have beautiful eyes......(but I would smile and blush profusely, most definitely). But it would catch me off guard and I have NO idea what I would say other than a quiet little "Thank you."
But the weather, yes, that's a good starting point.[/b]
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http://www.myspace.com/julishines
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RE: What's my line? - 7/2/2008 4:25:49 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 2991
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: besiderself
John_O is prolly really good at this: hey John...are you around? Could you contribute some good lines to help start a conversation with a perfect stranger?
actually he started a thread very much like this a few months ago with the same type of issue that craig is struggling with now and this thread might have some ideas:
http://forums.crosswalk.com/m_2999285/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#2999285
quote:
ORIGINAL: ju-ju
I have to say that I'd be THOROUGHLY embarrassed if some man came up to me and just straight out said I have beautiful eyes......(
that seemed to be the female consensus in the other thread too...
< Message edited by iwillfearnoevil -- 7/2/2008 4:32:31 PM >
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RE: What's my line? - 7/2/2008 4:29:36 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12889
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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Oh, I LOVE when I get told I have beautiful eyes, and also my smile. 
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When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: What's my line? - 7/2/2008 6:11:58 PM
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