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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/9/2008 8:32:46 PM
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kohls356
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I don't have sons only daughters so I can't really give an answer on what I would do. However, my oldest daughter had wanted her belly button pierced for several years and although I didn't really have any objections her father did so I told her she had to wait until she was 18 and able to do it on her own. She had it done several months ago on her 18th birthday.
I think even if her father didn't object I would have had her wait because I wanted her to make this decision on her own when she didn't need the permission of her parents. To me it was one of those decisions she was able to make at that legal age.
Her dad did feel as if she did it out of rebellion because he didn't want her to. I know that is not the case at all, she has wanted one for so long, years even, and never changed her mind. I ended up telling him that the things that she does isn't all about him and that I could guarantee that the last thing she was thinking of when getting it done was that she was getting back at him for some reason. I asked her and was right, she wasn't thinking about being rebellious at all.
As far as the hole growing back, I had my ears pierced when I was 11, quit wearing earrings at 25, and 18 years later could not get an earring in if I tried. My other two daughters had their ears pierced but quit wearing them and they too cannot get an earring in, so some holes do grow back. I think what people mean about them not being permanent is you can take the earring out where you can't easily remove say a tattoo, those are considered permanent.
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/9/2008 9:48:07 PM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
Posts: 919
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There are many things I give my son freedom in that other parents would not allow their kids to do. Putting needles in his body is something I will not allow. If Jack disobeys me and goes behind my back to get an earring when I said no he would be in big time trouble. I would not feel sorry for him in the least bit if he got an infection. It is called consequences. He would however go to the doctor and get a very painful shot. He had a nasty bike wreck after being very foolish, unsafe, and acting like he did not have a brain in his head. If you are wondering they hooked a tow chain up to his friends go cart and they drove recklessly on the gravel roads out here. He had a terrible bike wreck with a very painful case of road rash. I took him to the doctor where he got some cream to prevent infection. He did get an infection because he did not put the cream on his legs. I took him back to the doctor and he had the shot that left his hip sore for the rest of the day. That is what happens when Jack does not listen to instructions since they are there for a reason.
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<------- Jessica and I had so much fun with grandma!
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/9/2008 11:08:13 PM
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faroukfarouk
Posts: 839
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L'smom:
Well, okay.
He probably wouldnt get HIV with an unsterile needle during a self-piercing. You never know but he probably wouldn't.
I know for some parents it's an instinctive no-no for a boy under 18. And for others it isn't.
Take care.
mommyplus3 has a point when she said she allowed her 9 year old to pierce his ear because in their new town it's more acceptable for boys to have it done.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Leslie_JnJs_mom
There are many things I give my son freedom in that other parents would not allow their kids to do. Putting needles in his body is something I will not allow. If Jack disobeys me and goes behind my back to get an earring when I said no he would be in big time trouble. I would not feel sorry for him in the least bit if he got an infection. It is called consequences. He would however go to the doctor and get a very painful shot. He had a nasty bike wreck after being very foolish, unsafe, and acting like he did not have a brain in his head. If you are wondering they hooked a tow chain up to his friends go cart and they drove recklessly on the gravel roads out here. He had a terrible bike wreck with a very painful case of road rash. I took him to the doctor where he got some cream to prevent infection. He did get an infection because he did not put the cream on his legs. I took him back to the doctor and he had the shot that left his hip sore for the rest of the day. That is what happens when Jack does not listen to instructions since they are there for a reason.
< Message edited by faroukfarouk -- 7/9/2008 11:19:04 PM >
_____________________________
Trust the Bible.
Trust the Lord.
Don't trust the appearance of things.
(I'm a guy. Some tattoo designs look nice, though...but I haven't worn my earrings lately. So, think the lady in the avatar is my sister?)
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/10/2008 12:19:34 AM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6925
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quote:
He probably wouldnt get HIV with an unsterile needle during a self-piercing. You never know but he probably wouldn't.
Um, do you know how transference of HIV works? You do realize that a person with HIV or AIDS would have to have really recently used the same needle, right? Like, the blood would have to be still wet on the needle.
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/10/2008 8:57:41 AM
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IonMoon
Posts: 985
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Depending on where he got the needle and under what circumstance the piercing was done HIV/Hep could be a concern. Staph would be my biggest concern with a self-piercing, though. I knew a girl who almost had a finger amputated from staph from a paper cut (despite cleaning, etc!), I can't imagine what it would do to an ear (or lip, etc!).
Anyhow... personally, if there was a concern that my child would go behind my back to do something he was directed not to, I would be addressing that issue in some way, not tip toeing around it!
Has anyone said yet, why they refuse to allow a boy to get a piercing? I can understand when people have across the board no piercing rules regardless of gender, but I honestly don't understand the reasoning behind allowing it for girls, but not boys.
I'm not saying it is right or wrong or what people's rules should be, I just don't get it.
Tara P
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/10/2008 10:00:22 AM
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faroukfarouk
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rainbowtvp:
quote:
ORIGINAL: rainbowtvp
Depending on where he got the needle and under what circumstance the piercing was done HIV/Hep could be a concern.
Although I don't know enough about it, the fact is that there ARE some bad diseases around.
quote:
Has anyone said yet, why they refuse to allow a boy to get a piercing? I can understand when people have across the board no piercing rules regardless of gender, but I honestly don't understand the reasoning behind allowing it for girls, but not boys.
I'm not saying it is right or wrong or what people's rules should be, I just don't get it.
Tara P
The fact is also, if a boy does get one or both of his ears pierced (and the trend is to do both), it won't be at all unusual; Christian families included, and some of his friends from his church youth group, he he attends one, will possibly also have had it done. Teens from Christian families will also often listen to well-known Christian contemporary musicians and some of them are males who happen to wear earrings, etc.
It's the parent's call, absolutely. It is undeniably a very widespread custom.
_____________________________
Trust the Bible.
Trust the Lord.
Don't trust the appearance of things.
(I'm a guy. Some tattoo designs look nice, though...but I haven't worn my earrings lately. So, think the lady in the avatar is my sister?)
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/10/2008 1:02:57 PM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
Posts: 919
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Unless someone with aids used a sowing needle then put it back in the sealed package before I bought it I guess he could get aids. I would worry more about those piercing place not keeping their shop clean more then anything. Like I said earlier Jack knows the kind of trouble he gets in for disobedience. He would not risk everything in his room that he loves like his video games, stereo and television over an earring. Disobedience has strong consequences in this family. Things the kids love the most disappear for long lengths of time.
_____________________________
<------- Jessica and I had so much fun with grandma!
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/10/2008 1:06:42 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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The HIV virus dies really quickly, so even if they put it back in the package and you bought it the next day, I don't think it would be a risk. The whole 'dirty needle' thing gets to me because that phrase is really meant to refer to hypodermic needles, where there is an airlock and things can survive for long periods of time.
And like I keep saying--it's a sorry outlook to think that most kids would stick a sewing needle through their ear instead of waiting until they turned 18. I don't think most would. If nothing else, they would realize their moms would notice if they had done this. Plus, IMO, any child to immature to have some patience and obey their parents is far too immature to make that decision anyway!
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Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/10/2008 3:15:39 PM
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IonMoon
Posts: 985
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Leslie_JnJs_mom
Unless someone with aids used a sowing needle then put it back in the sealed package before I bought it I guess he could get aids. I would worry more about those piercing place not keeping their shop clean more then anything. Like I said earlier Jack knows the kind of trouble he gets in for disobedience. He would not risk everything in his room that he loves like his video games, stereo and television over an earring. Disobedience has strong consequences in this family. Things the kids love the most disappear for long lengths of time.
I just want to say my comment wasn't at all directed at you in particular, just the hypothetical situation of a kid doing a piercing on his/her own.
Most kids don't grab a needle from their parent's sewing box (you typically need a pretty thick one anyhow, and most people who aren't crafty don't have a wide selection)- and they often do it in groups, wiping off the needle with alcohol between uses, in someone's bathroom or outside or in other environments that are less than sanitary.
Tara P
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/10/2008 3:50:13 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6925
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However, if that is the case, then you have a problem with a teen who is succumbing to peer pressure and cannot stand on their own two feet--a problem that, IMO, is far greater than whether any of his friends have a bloodborne disease that needs worrying about. It isn't about the earring in those cases, it's about steadfastness--and a wishy-washy parent or a fearful parent will not help a child become steadfast.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/10/2008 8:29:31 PM
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faroukfarouk
Posts: 839
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Jenny-Fair:
I agree about the steadfastness thing.
So really your objection is less about a son having an earring - it's not a big deal, really - than it is about a rebellious attitude shown by getting one without permission.
Okay, I see.
Take care.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
However, if that is the case, then you have a problem with a teen who is succumbing to peer pressure and cannot stand on their own two feet--a problem that, IMO, is far greater than whether any of his friends have a bloodborne disease that needs worrying about. It isn't about the earring in those cases, it's about steadfastness--and a wishy-washy parent or a fearful parent will not help a child become steadfast.
_____________________________
Trust the Bible.
Trust the Lord.
Don't trust the appearance of things.
(I'm a guy. Some tattoo designs look nice, though...but I haven't worn my earrings lately. So, think the lady in the avatar is my sister?)
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/10/2008 8:40:40 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6925
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
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quote:
So really your objection is less about a son having an earring - it's not a big deal, really - than it is about a rebellious attitude shown by getting one without permission.
Most definitely.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/10/2008 8:45:00 PM
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faroukfarouk
Posts: 839
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JennyF:
Well, I agree with you. I think at first we were coming at the issue from different perspectives that made it look as if we disagreed strongly but the most important thing is to preserve the framework of secure and trustworthy parenting.
Earrings for boys are really great...or they're not; go for it; don't go for it, whatever, right?
Wise parenting: now that's far more important.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
quote:
So really your objection is less about a son having an earring - it's not a big deal, really - than it is about a rebellious attitude shown by getting one without permission.
Most definitely.
< Message edited by faroukfarouk -- 7/10/2008 8:51:48 PM >
_____________________________
Trust the Bible.
Trust the Lord.
Don't trust the appearance of things.
(I'm a guy. Some tattoo designs look nice, though...but I haven't worn my earrings lately. So, think the lady in the avatar is my sister?)
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/10/2008 10:46:44 PM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
Posts: 919
Joined: 9/6/2007
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Yes that would be my problem. If my son behaves himself he could use that as grounds to stand on next year if he wanted. I could be swayed. This year no but maybe next if he is good all year. It is not hard for him to be good. The worst problem I have out of him is constantly telling him to turn the music down.
quote:
I agree about the steadfastness thing.
So really your objection is less about a son having an earring - it's not a big deal, really - than it is about a rebellious attitude shown by getting one without permission.
Okay, I see.
Take care.
_____________________________
<------- Jessica and I had so much fun with grandma!
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/10/2008 11:01:20 PM
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faroukfarouk
Posts: 839
Joined: 4/16/2008
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L'smom:
I see.
So, maybe, just maybe, next year if your son really behaves well and is habitually respectful, you mean you might, just might let him have his earring?
Take care.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Leslie_JnJs_mom
Yes that would be my problem. If my son behaves himself he could use that as grounds to stand on next year if he wanted. I could be swayed. This year no but maybe next if he is good all year. It is not hard for him to be good. The worst problem I have out of him is constantly telling him to turn the music down.
quote:
I agree about the steadfastness thing.
So really your objection is less about a son having an earring - it's not a big deal, really - than it is about a rebellious attitude shown by getting one without permission.
Okay, I see.
Take care.
_____________________________
Trust the Bible.
Trust the Lord.
Don't trust the appearance of things.
(I'm a guy. Some tattoo designs look nice, though...but I haven't worn my earrings lately. So, think the lady in the avatar is my sister?)
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/10/2008 11:43:28 PM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
Posts: 919
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yeah I have heard 16 is the roughest year , so if he makes good grades and stays out of trouble I could be swayed to let him get one for his 17th birthday. I am not a tough mom who always thinks it is my way or the highway.
_____________________________
<------- Jessica and I had so much fun with grandma!
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/10/2008 11:59:50 PM
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faroukfarouk
Posts: 839
Joined: 4/16/2008
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L'SMOM:
Well, I guess having that 'reward' from you on the horizon might act as an encouragement and gentle restraint to him, as you say, to make good grades and stay out of trouble, right?
So I reckon you'll be telling him at some stage that it's something you might let him do for his 17th, if he cooperates, right?
(And there is no need to worry that you're being too old fashioned as a mom, either!)
quote:
ORIGINAL: Leslie_JnJs_mom
yeah I have heard 16 is the roughest year , so if he makes good grades and stays out of trouble I could be swayed to let him get one for his 17th birthday. I am not a tough mom who always thinks it is my way or the highway.
< Message edited by faroukfarouk -- 7/11/2008 10:16:53 AM >
_____________________________
Trust the Bible.
Trust the Lord.
Don't trust the appearance of things.
(I'm a guy. Some tattoo designs look nice, though...but I haven't worn my earrings lately. So, think the lady in the avatar is my sister?)
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RE: teenage son wants an ear ring - 7/12/2008 3:12:32 AM
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faroukfarouk
Posts: 839
Joined: 4/16/2008
Status: offline
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L'smom:
So have you told your son yet that you might let him pierce his ear at 17?
Something for him to think about, anyway.
Take care.
_____________________________
Trust the Bible.
Trust the Lord.
Don't trust the appearance of things.
(I'm a guy. Some tattoo designs look nice, though...but I haven't worn my earrings lately. So, think the lady in the avatar is my sister?)
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