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Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/23/2008 12:00:27 PM
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GraceyGirl
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Disclaimer: This post is NOT the place for debate over whether the mother is a murderer, negligent, or reckless. If you want to debate the situation and tear her apart like the media, created your own post.
On Wed, a very sad thing happened here in my hometown. Jodie Edwards, friend and advisor, left her 11 month old daughter in her van while she went to work at Cincinnati Christian. Jenna died sometime during the day. Jodie discovered her at about 4:30pm that afternoon at which time she called the police.
The funeral is Monday.
I've had friends of mine whose children have died, and the loss of a child is always a sad sad thing. This is a little different however, b/c Jodie's actions directly caused the death of little Jenna. My heart breaks for her. Right now isn't the time, but that time is coming when we'll talk, and I'm at a complete loss at this point.
An interesting aside, the media here has ripped into the college for standing by Jodie. At the memorial service on Thursday, we sang, "Blessed be your name." The media tore into the line, "You give and take away, You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name." The public opinion is that a God who allows this to happen can't be blessed. I got into a heated argument yesterday at work over this, telling the woman, "God is still God regardless of what we mere humans do to ourselves and one another down here."
People have called her a murderer. Murder suggests intent. Careless I can buy, but not murderer. I know this woman, and I know her well. I know her family. I know her babies.
My heart is breaking.
_____________________________
All I want is You ~ All I crave is You
All I want is You ~All I crave is You
My soul pants for God and God ALONE!!
~Misty Edwards
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/23/2008 12:35:13 PM
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Kat_D
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quote:
Disclaimer: This post is NOT the place for debate over whether the mother is a murderer, negligent, or reckless. If you want to debate the situation and tear her apart like the media, created your own post.
So, what is it exactly that you do want to discuss?
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/23/2008 12:52:30 PM
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GraceyGirl
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Right now isn't the time, but that time is coming when we'll talk, and I'm at a complete loss at this point.
I know we'll end up talking before long, and I honestly can't imagine what I'm going to say. How do you comfort her? All the standard answers, "She's in a better place, God's in control" they all just seem kind of pat, you know?
_____________________________
All I want is You ~ All I crave is You
All I want is You ~All I crave is You
My soul pants for God and God ALONE!!
~Misty Edwards
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/23/2008 12:56:37 PM
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colliefan
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From: Raleigh, NC
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Would moving this thread to the Prayer folder be an option?
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/23/2008 1:41:00 PM
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rcjames
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Well since you do not wish to discuss whether she is a murderer or not; how about discussing whether she is the stupidest person in the Word or not.
I would tend to vote that she is the studidest person in the world, as anyone who would leave their child in a car all day just lacks any sense at all (or planned on the event happening).
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/23/2008 3:59:08 PM
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Rufas2000
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quote:
Well since you do not wish to discuss whether she is a murderer or not; how about discussing whether she is the stupidest person in the Word or not.
I would tend to vote that she is the studidest person in the world, as anyone who would leave their child in a car all day just lacks any sense at all (or planned on the event happening).
What did you hope to accomplish by that? I had the same initial reaction Kat did (post #2) but the person reading this is not the mother (unlikely given her situation) but a grieveing friend who hasn't done anything wrong.
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Be my friend!
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/23/2008 4:08:23 PM
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solo_soprano22
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rcjames
Well since you do not wish to discuss whether she is a murderer or not; how about discussing whether she is the stupidest person in the Word or not.
I would tend to vote that she is the studidest person in the world, as anyone who would leave their child in a car all day just lacks any sense at all (or planned on the event happening).
Thanks
RC
There was a similar case here in which the mother was so busy that she literally forgot to drop the baby at the sitter's.
I, as well, don't see why I'd sit back and try to vote for whose the "stupidest." Some people do make mistakes...sometimes costly ones, but not intending to do what they did.
Anyway, since it's not about debate, just pray for her and be there for her/comfort her. There's only so much a person can do, and I suppose she feels badly enough anyway even though she didn't mean to.
Edited for spelling.
< Message edited by solo_soprano22 -- 8/23/2008 4:14:29 PM >
_____________________________
For God, For Learning, Forever.
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/23/2008 6:37:01 PM
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earthless
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Poor kid.
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Probing Today's Religious Movements | Promoting Doctrinal Discernment & Critical Thinking | Providing Reasons for Christian Faith & Ethics
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/23/2008 8:27:51 PM
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lightshineon
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They need warning devices in cars and such, to prevent such things, because, they happen way to often No matter how bad God, can turn it for good. I am sorry for this tradgedy.
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Remember, whenever you have pearls, there are always plenty of pigs nearby who would be glad to step on them.
F.T., 2007
Be sure you vote for those, whose views you want your children to emulate.
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/23/2008 9:58:37 PM
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SonInMe1
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I can only speak from my own experience, as a man. Comforting is listening and being there. There are no words to say.
I am not sure the circumstances can be seperated from the manner in which you comfort. It will have to be a componenet because it will certainly be a topic of conversation.
How do you deal with a death caused by the person you are talking with?
I don't know. Listen. Be there. Comfort her with words of God's forgiveness. If she offers excuses....personally...I would say, " God bless and keep you and....goodbye "
_____________________________
You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
James 4:4
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/23/2008 10:01:15 PM
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lightshineon
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I gather it was a tragic accident.
_____________________________
Remember, whenever you have pearls, there are always plenty of pigs nearby who would be glad to step on them.
F.T., 2007
Be sure you vote for those, whose views you want your children to emulate.
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/23/2008 10:12:58 PM
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earthless
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As a father I can't get over how such a thing can happen. Maybe it's just me and I am really careful/paranoid in what I do and and don't do with my children.
_____________________________
Probing Today's Religious Movements | Promoting Doctrinal Discernment & Critical Thinking | Providing Reasons for Christian Faith & Ethics
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/23/2008 11:13:42 PM
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GraceyGirl
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Thank you to everyone who had encouraging and supportive words. You are truly edifying the body.
To those who are judgmental - all I can say is this. I am thankful that God is sovereign even when we as humans are incredibly fallible.
We all make mistakes, some more tragic than others. But the same forgiveness poured out for one is offered for another. My God is a just God, but also a God of Mercy.
Again, thank you to those who have been so supportive. I am praying that God gives me the right words, the right moments to touch her and love on her, and draws the heart of the church to this family.
_____________________________
All I want is You ~ All I crave is You
All I want is You ~All I crave is You
My soul pants for God and God ALONE!!
~Misty Edwards
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/23/2008 11:42:39 PM
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lightshineon
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I know but accidents happen. Look at Steven urts Chapman, and the tragic death of his little girl. We all are looking forward to the day of no moe tears, and sorrow. GraceyGirl I pray also the Lord will give you the right words.
quote:
ORIGINAL: earthless
As a father I can't get over how such a thing can happen. Maybe it's just me and I am really careful/paranoid in what I do and and don't do with my children.
_____________________________
Remember, whenever you have pearls, there are always plenty of pigs nearby who would be glad to step on them.
F.T., 2007
Be sure you vote for those, whose views you want your children to emulate.
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/24/2008 3:20:28 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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quote:
ORIGINAL: earthless
As a father I can't get over how such a thing can happen. Maybe it's just me and I am really careful/paranoid in what I do and and don't do with my children.
There, but for the grace of God am I. Quoted from To Kill a Mockingbird.
Let Him who thinks he stands take heed lest he stumble.
_____________________________
Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/24/2008 11:29:21 AM
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Kat_D
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I think if there is a lesson to be learned here, it is that the recurrence of incidents like this prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you absolutely cannot have it all or do it all. Trying to balance being a mother, wife, and a full-time career can result in terrible stress and fatigue which obviously can lead to terrible tragedies like this for some.
I'm sure no amount of condemnation by others can begin to compare with the guilt this Mother is already experiencing and I'm glad she has friends like Gracey to help her through.
May God bring comfort and have mercy on this woman and her family.
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/24/2008 12:39:21 PM
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solo_soprano22
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kat_D
I think if there is a lesson to be learned here, it is that the recurrence of incidents like this prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you absolutely cannot have it all or do it all. Trying to balance being a mother, wife, and a full-time career can result in terrible stress and fatigue which obviously can lead to terrible tragedies like this for some.
I was about to say that. Sometimes I look at my female professors who are wives and mothers of small children, and I wonder how they do it all. Then I can see that after I think about fatigue, stress, and (probably) lack of sleep every night I can understand that you might make a mistake...even a mistake like this one.
_____________________________
For God, For Learning, Forever.
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/24/2008 2:26:58 PM
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SonInMe1
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Would it be possible to share more details when you talk with this lady...if she is forthcoming?
I think at least a few of us wonder how something like this can happen.
_____________________________
You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
James 4:4
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/24/2008 2:31:26 PM
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coolfamily6
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quote:
You give and take away, You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name."
My daughter drowned 8 yrs ago, she was 2.5. There are still people who question where I was when she drowned. I live every day knowing that even though she was playing just a couple of feed away I did not see her walk out the door when my neice walked in.
I am guessing that your friend did not realize her baby was in the car. I live in FL this happens a couple of times a yr here and it is tragic and horrifying.
There are support groups for bereaved parents who will help your friend: The Compassionate Friends and Bereaved Parents USA. Check out their websites to see if either has a group near you encourage her to go even if you have to go with her to a meeting or two. There is also tips for friends and family about helping the newly bereaved parent.
My faith and BP really saved my sanitiy in the early days after Malena died. They will not cast judgement on her childs cause of death because no matter how your child dies most of us felt to blame somehow.
Finally, that song brings me to tears EVERY time I hear it. Because Malena's death forced me to truly walk the walk and say Blessed is YOUR name to my Jesus. Anger, hurt, grief all still occured but all the while praising Him for his sovernty.
(You can read her story on a site I built in memory of her the link is in my profile.)
_____________________________
If your bible is a mess; your life won't be.
~Encouragement a mom gave to our children at our First Grader's Bible Ceremony!
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/24/2008 3:24:54 PM
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GraceyGirl
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kat_D
I think if there is a lesson to be learned here, it is that the recurrence of incidents like this prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you absolutely cannot have it all or do it all. Trying to balance being a mother, wife, and a full-time career can result in terrible stress and fatigue which obviously can lead to terrible tragedies like this for some.
I'm sure no amount of condemnation by others can begin to compare with the guilt this Mother is already experiencing and I'm glad she has friends like Gracey to help her through.
May God bring comfort and have mercy on this woman and her family.
quote:
I think if there is a lesson to be learned here, it is that the recurrence of incidents like this prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you absolutely cannot have it all or do it all. Trying to balance being a mother, wife, and a full-time career can result in terrible stress and fatigue which obviously can lead to terrible tragedies like this for some.
I think it necessary to note here. . .she was not trying to have it all. Like so many of us, working is a necessity. Many of us don't get to choose whether or not we're a mother or a wife ONLY. Many of us HAVE to find a way to be a mother to little ones and a wife while at the same working to provide income for those we're responsible for.
A lot of people have judged her saying that b/c she's a college professor, she is "affluent." The school she teaches at makes public the salaries paid to their professors - she brings in about 37K a year. Her husband is a first year fellow who makes even less. They have a mortgage, a car payment, student loans, and the other same responsibilities we all have. They don't live above their means at all.
I think the thing that really strikes me about this is that it could happen to any of us. How many times have you been driving down the road, late for an appointment, taking a new route, talking on the phone. . .and realize you forgot something important? I imagine, since it was the FIRST time the baby was going to the new center and the FIRST time the mother was taking her, and it was a DIFFERENT route. . .maybe the child fell asleep. Maybe the mom was on the phone with her husband, trying to connect for just a few minutes. Maybe there was road construction that changed her route. Maybe she had any number of valid things on her mind and maybe she simply forgot.
None of us want to believe we're capable of taking a life. But what happens if you're driving your car down the road and someone steps out in front of you? You strike them, they fall down, they die. Does that make you a murderer? Does it make you negligent? You ARE responsible, but thankfully you are also covered in mercy b/c of the situation you couldn't control. I don't know all the details surrounding the death of this child, but what I do know is the mother. She is not a flighty woman, a clueless person, or a space cadet. She is a humble teacher, a devoted mother, and a good wife. And now, she'll live for the rest of her life with this horrible accident on her.
I am thankful that when the world cried out for justice for we who are sinners, God heard that cry and He sent Justice in the form of Christ. Justice was demanded, and justice was given. Justice was what necessitated the cross, but it was Mercy that led our Lord to that place. We were given Mercy for our crimes, while justice was indeed had. It grieves me deeply that many here in Cincinnati who are "Christian leaders" are screaming for justice for Jenna Edwards, but few are crying for mercy for her mother. I'm reminded that God is a God who gives, who takes away, and who always in all things, is about mercy.
_____________________________
All I want is You ~ All I crave is You
All I want is You ~All I crave is You
My soul pants for God and God ALONE!!
~Misty Edwards
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/24/2008 11:23:55 PM
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PaleHawkWoman
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GraceyGirl
Right now isn't the time, but that time is coming when we'll talk, and I'm at a complete loss at this point.
I know we'll end up talking before long, and I honestly can't imagine what I'm going to say. How do you comfort her? All the standard answers, "She's in a better place, God's in control" they all just seem kind of pat, you know?
Actually, saying "she's in a better place" is not as comforting as you might think. Just listen and encourage her. Try saying something like, "I can't imagine how hard this has been for you, but I'm here for you" or "I love you dearly and I want to know how I can help you during this time." If someone os ripping into her, remind them that no parent is perfect, that sometimes, due to stress or too many things going on, many parents have found themselves trying to do too many things at once and we all make mistakes.
If you are running errands, call and ask her if you can pick anything up for her. Drop by with a dish of food. Offer to help with something at home, like mowing the lawn or the laundry. Sometimes just listening, just being there for her is what is needed most. There really are times when words fail,and at such times it is best to keep the mouth shut and speak with one's actions.
I am truly sorry for your friend's loss and will keep her and her family in my prayers.
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RE: Tragic death in Cincinnati - 8/25/2008 12:30:55 AM
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ljmac
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While I have sympathy for the woman, I have more for the child. The baby suffered terribly. Her temperature was 110 an hour and 15 minutes after she was found. Her fists were clenched.
This is not a typical accident. It's not a pool drowning when a child wanders into a pool or a car accident when a child runs into the path of a moving vehicle. This mother put her child in the car and she alone was responsible. Everyone, as other posters have testified, knows that children in hot cars die.
The mom "...told investigators on the scene that she couldn't believe that her child-care provider hadn't called to ask where the infant was." Child-care provider? Didn't we used to call those Moms?
Sympathy - too much for mom, too little for baby
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That came to mind when I saw the OP, although I know every case is different. I can see how it happens.