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RE: Duggars getting reality show

 
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/9/2009 5:24:20 AM   
10SNE1?

 

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This seems to me to be just another example of certain posters jumping though hoops to defend the child-rearing habits of this family.

I guarantee that if some random young mommy came on here and asked for advice on dealing with the fact that her child, when hurt or sick, cries for her daycare provider instead of mommy, the replies would be quite different.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/9/2009 9:11:54 AM   
onecoolmom


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quote:

ORIGINAL: 10SNE1?

This seems to me to be just another example of certain posters jumping though hoops to defend the child-rearing habits of this family.

I guarantee that if some random young mommy came on here and asked for advice on dealing with the fact that her child, when hurt or sick, cries for her daycare provider instead of mommy, the replies would be quite different.



I agree 100% with this post. My niece is the buddy of all of her siblings there are 5 younger. MOST people have a problem with this, she is now 21. Her younger sister was raped a few months ago and she was away from home living with me. Her parents were not happy with this arrangement and had cut off contact with her refusing to allow her to see her siblings or talk to them. But her sister was inconsolable for 5 days until they called her to come home to take care of her and help them deal with what happened. When she got there, she found her little sister in a dark room curled up in a fetal position refusing to eat or let her parents near her because they had never bonded that way with her. Is this really how moms and dads should handle parental responsiblitly?

Now before everyone freaks out, I understand this is an extreme case but what young adult needs this kind of responsibiltiy? What if one of those kids is seriously hurt on that property? We have all seen that they are very relaxed with their safety rules. What then? This is the parents job, not their siblings.

I do agree with the buddy system for some things but not to the degree that they (and my sister)have taken it to.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/9/2009 9:42:11 AM   
stellaluna


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quote:

ORIGINAL: 10SNE1?

This seems to me to be just another example of certain posters jumping though hoops to defend the child-rearing habits of this family.

Always.

quote:


I guarantee that if some random young mommy came on here and asked for advice on dealing with the fact that her child, when hurt or sick, cries for her daycare provider instead of mommy, the replies would be quite different.

Yep.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/9/2009 11:04:31 AM   
Sideways


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I see a sister as being a little different then a daycare provider, but I have seen young moms harassed on this forum because they have grandma providing some of the child care, and that does strike me as hypocritical. Even if Michelle is on the property, it's obvious she can't be called in at moment's notice, or else she'd have been there for a vomiting Johannah.

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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/9/2009 4:07:06 PM   
kohls356


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Well the upcoming episode is to visit an ostrich farm where they get to take home a truly Duggar sized special souvenier. One guess what that could be. I wonder if there will be a little pop up saying how many ostrich eggs it would take to feed the Duggar family.

They went to an Amish farm, Washington DC, Pigeon Forge (seems they are going back there), just went to another farm, vow renewal, trip to Say Yes to the Dress, trip to Branson to be in the play, and now an ostrich farm. Reminds me of another show where the family was always going on freebie trips. I don't think this family will end up like the Gosselin's, however, the show is becoming nothing more than going on little (and sometimes big) trips. I really do believe that the show has gone off track from what it was intended to be.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/9/2009 11:02:10 PM   
teacher1982

 

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With 18 kids, and a stomach virus going around, I wouldn't doubt that Michelle was somewhere else taking care of another vomiting child - or maybe sick herself. Those viruses go through a family like a tornado. Can't imagine trying to take care of 18 to 20 people with that going around!! Horrible!!
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/10/2009 8:14:02 AM   
3cappuccinosmom


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quote:

With 18 kids, and a stomach virus going around, I wouldn't doubt that Michelle was somewhere else taking care of another vomiting child - or maybe sick herself. Those viruses go through a family like a tornado. Can't imagine trying to take care of 18 to 20 people with that going around!! Horrible!!


Ah. But the answer to this is, They should only have had two and then it wouldn't even be a problem.

Having mom in the home and siblings helping out with practical stuff is a little different from mom being physically unavailable for a concrete 8+ hours a day every day. I am not a fan of daycare. But I'm also not one who believes that a mom needs to be hovering in the same 2 ft. of space as her children 24/7.

I think mom's need to be present as much as possible with sick little ones. It's sad to me that at that moment, Michelle wasn't there. But OTOH, if my kids were upstairs and needed to barf, and my parents or one of my sibs was geographically closer, they wouldn't holler for me and let the kid sit there and wait. They'd take the poor thing to the bathroom and help them. I now live in a household where there are more people over 18 than there are under. There is a lot of shoe-tying, boo-boo kissing, walk-taking that goes on and it's not all done by me. It's not a matter of me shoving off responsibility on others and ignoring my kids, but the fact that everybody in the household loves the kids and sees pitching in as a normal reaction to having kids in the home.

The fact is, we do not know if Michelle ignored Johanna completely, or if she wasn't able at that moment to be right there. If she ignored her sick kid, yes, that's wrong. But we don't know that. Having watched their family and seen Michelle in other situations, I'm hard pressed to believe that she simply doesn't care or bother with her own sick children. Yes they do have a buddy system and yes their children have a lot of responsibility. The difference I have with you all is that I do not see her neglecting her family and I do not see the responsibility the children have as inordinate or dysfunctional.

< Message edited by 3cappuccinosmom -- 11/10/2009 8:33:34 AM >


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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/10/2009 8:43:06 AM   
teacher1982

 

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quote:

Ah. But the answer to this is, They should only have had two and then it wouldn't even be a problem.


It's a free country and at least they aren't living off of the government like the majority of people who have a lot of children - or single mothers who just have one or two. But that's another subject.

I admire them. They have been wise and God has blessed them.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/10/2009 8:56:31 AM   
3cappuccinosmom


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I was joking.

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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/10/2009 10:09:29 AM   
onecoolmom


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quote:

ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom

I was joking.


Hence the little face at the end of the sentence.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/10/2009 10:46:39 AM   
Sideways


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quote:

ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
Having mom in the home and siblings helping out with practical stuff is a little different from mom being physically unavailable for a concrete 8+ hours a day every day.


That's true, but it appears from what we've seen that the little ones have learned to depend on their older siblings for a lot of their care. Mom may be in the house, but the littles know who to run to.

No one here thinks it's bad if an older sibling helps out, though, it's just a matter of how much. You're right, we don't really know exactly what's going on, we can only talk about what we see.

< Message edited by Sideways -- 11/10/2009 10:52:55 AM >


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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/10/2009 11:20:47 AM   
OneOfHisJewels

 

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quote:

No one here thinks it's bad if an older sibling helps out, though, it's just a matter of how much. You're right, we don't really know exactly what's going on, we can only talk about what we see.


And some of us feel that sometimes we see it's a little too much. It still bothers me that it was Jana and not Michelle comforting Jackson at the airport.

< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 11/10/2009 11:28:06 AM >
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/10/2009 4:37:57 PM   
kohls356


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels

quote:

No one here thinks it's bad if an older sibling helps out, though, it's just a matter of how much. You're right, we don't really know exactly what's going on, we can only talk about what we see.


And some of us feel that sometimes we see it's a little too much. It still bothers me that it was Jana and not Michelle comforting Jackson at the airport.


I was thinking the same thing. I only go by what I see or read from interviews they have done. I have seen Michelle in other situations as well and the airport scene is one of them. If my child had been lost at an airport I would be extremely upset. They never showed Michelle comforting Jackson. I think she might have gone over by him but what I remember was one of the girls holding him and comforting him while Michelle was in the background on her cell phone. If she had comforted him why wouldn't the cameras show that. That is an example of when you do leave the younger children with the older ones to go look for your missing child but it was just Jim Bob. If one of my children was missing you better believe I would be looking for them.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/14/2009 1:35:09 PM   
_Cinderella_


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I ordered the Duggar's book last night! I am looking forward to getting it and reading it.

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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/18/2009 8:42:28 AM   
3cappuccinosmom


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Joy Anna's birthday was so sweet.

Her choices for fun stuff to do were pizza, indoor rock climbing, and laser tag.

It seems they really do appreciate her spirit, even with their emphasis on gender roles.

Semi-cooked ramen noodles for breakfast though, eww.

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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/21/2009 3:52:11 PM   
kohls356


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Her birthday was nice I am glad she kept trying until she made it to the top of the rockwall. Maybe if she had wore tennis shoes instead of flip flops it would have been easier for her.

There were still a few hmmm moments but the biggest one and I think it was in this episode was letting Jordyn hold and suck on that dum dum sucker. All I have to say about that is that was dumb dumb not only letting her have it but also to give it to her in a moving vehicle in her car seat leaning back. Serious choking hazard again.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/21/2009 4:00:44 PM   
_Cinderella_


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I am not a huge safety person, but I did definitely notice Jordyn with the sucker. That did not seem safe AT ALL.

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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/21/2009 5:34:25 PM   
Sideways


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kohls356
Maybe if she had wore tennis shoes instead of flip flops it would have been easier for her.


The girls almost always wear flip flops, even when visiting a congressman or cutting bathroom tile.

Haven't seen this one, but it isn't the first time they've put up some safety alerts up when it comes to Jordyn... letting her play by fighting older siblings, feeding her with a large spoon while she was lying flat...

But like I say, they haven't lost one yet!

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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/21/2009 7:40:25 PM   
sharonjef2007


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So, I'm curious about something. Why is it we always see the older girls, but generally don't see much of the older boys by comparison?

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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/21/2009 8:02:32 PM   
_Cinderella_


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There is one theory that Joseph does not like to be on TV (and as such they don't make him), because he is rarely shown. And John David is pretty quiet. Josh does seem to love the cameras though.

TLC showed the original Duggar special "14 Children and Pregnant Again" twice this week. They looked sooooo different five years ago!


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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/21/2009 9:05:50 PM   
sharonjef2007


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Well, that is respectful of the parents. I didn't see Joy's birthday show yet, but I watched one the other day for Jason when they went skating.

You know, there do seem to be a lot of changes in just a few years for the family....not counting Josh's getting married and procreating and the additional children. I miss all the "at home" episodes. All the trips are kinda getting old.

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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/29/2009 11:04:58 AM   
Sideways


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This was brought to my attention, and it's from the TLC website.

"The older Duggar children are paired with younger siblings to help with chores (jurisdictions), schoolwork and music practice, and to be a mentor and friend. The buddy teams are:

Team 1: Jill, Joy-Anna, James and Jennifer

Team 2: Jana, Jason and Jackson

Team 3: Jessa, Jeremiah, Justin and Jordyn

Team 4: Jinger, Jedidiah and Johannah

Joseph and Josiah are old enough to take care of themselves and function as Jim Bob's helpers now that Josh and John-David work outside the house."

It's an interesting list, don't you think?

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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 12/1/2009 11:00:31 PM   
OneOfHisJewels

 

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Interesting that Josh and John-David aren't on the list (yes I know Josh is married w/kid now but this list was a long time before that).
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Duggars getting reality show - 12/1/2009 11:01:41 PM   
pink..

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels

Interesting that Josh and John-David aren't on the list (yes I know Josh is married w/kid now but this list was a long time before that).


Was Josh running the car lot already when the list was made?

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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 12/2/2009 8:55:31 AM   
3cappuccinosmom


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Is it surprising though?

We know they have the buddies, and we know they're not an "egalitarian" minded family when it comes to gender.

Josh and John-David have both been working several years. Even for the older girls, it's clear the buddy thing is not legalistically requiring their presence 24/7. They have places to go and things to do (and a few have babysitting jobs as well).

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