Bad advice (Full Version)

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Psalm_40 -> Bad advice (11/27/2008 5:35:25 PM)

Name a problem, and we'll try to give you the worst possible advice we can think of.

My problem:

How do I get my boss to give me a raise?



still4gvn -> RE: Bad advice (11/27/2008 5:51:54 PM)

hold him/her at gunpoint and tied with duct tape

the oven wasn't turned on right and the 23 lbs turkey will be about 3 hours later than planned. how can I hurry it?



Psalm_40 -> RE: Bad advice (11/27/2008 7:50:50 PM)

the oven wasn't turned on right and the 23 lbs turkey will be about 3 hours later than planned. how can I hurry it?

Turning it on left might help (sorry, Im not good at comedy). Or get a blow torch. Or do what i do. I dye my hair blond, and I get away with anything, lol.

How do you say goodbye in a loving way to someone you love whose such a poo poo head (the word I have in mind will get me banned[:D])



1970rodney -> RE: Bad advice (11/27/2008 9:04:08 PM)

You write it on the back of your shirt so as you are walking away they can read the writing on the back.

How do you tell your kids Santa's like broke dude?



SamsonUSA -> RE: Bad advice (11/27/2008 10:02:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: 1970rodney

You write it on the back of your shirt so as you are walking away they can read the writing on the back.

How do you tell your kids Santa's like broke dude?

You tell them Santa was not included in the billion dollar welfare " bailout "

What is the nicest way to let a coworker know their breath smells like rotten eggs?



Psalm_40 -> RE: Bad advice (11/27/2008 10:03:32 PM)

You write it on the back of your shirt so as you are walking away they can read the writing on the back. SOrry, not original, but it's very effective. LOL.

What's the best way to get myself in the national news?



1970rodney -> RE: Bad advice (11/27/2008 10:05:29 PM)

Say you're a politician of change. Seemed to work down here.[X(][8|]

How do you learn to Ice skate when there is no Ice skate rinks?



Psalm_40 -> RE: Bad advice (11/28/2008 1:20:45 AM)

quote:

How do you learn to Ice skate when there is no Ice skate rinks?


No skating rink? Just ask your government for a hand out to build a skating rink. I'm sure they'd be more than happy to give you the money if you play the "poor me, I can't skate like our Canadian friends can" card.

I can see an early addiction to the games and humor forum. Do you see anything wrong with it, and what do you suggest I do?



still4gvn -> RE: Bad advice (11/28/2008 1:26:09 PM)

just keep logged in 24/7 and keep playing

how do I get the weather to change here?



RamiRedeemed -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 5:55:17 PM)

start a really large fire that consumes your whole town- that will give you warm weather

How do i get my husband to agree to a vacation to Jerusalem?



BeeLuvsAva -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 6:10:11 PM)

Tell him your going to Hawaii!

How can I avoid going into work on monday?



RamiRedeemed -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 6:12:15 PM)

just dont show up! bosses LOVE that! you'll probably even get promoted

i have lots of laundry to do, whats the fastest way to get it all done



BeeLuvsAva -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 6:18:28 PM)

take all the clothes outside and hose them down, then fold them and pray that they dry in time before your DH notices.

I have a friend who's addicted to drugs, how do I tell them without getting them angry?



RamiRedeemed -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 6:20:19 PM)

just put it on the front page of the newspaper and buy a billboard saying they are addicted and put a huge picture on it

whats the best way to clean the floors



BeeLuvsAva -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 6:23:33 PM)

With a toothbrush!!!!

how do I get the money to christmas shop for ALL my family (4 cousins, 3 sisters, 1 brother, 3 grandparents, and my mom)



RamiRedeemed -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 6:47:32 PM)

steal it of course

how do i go to target without over spending?



BeeLuvsAva -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 6:50:50 PM)

Make sure you go to the bank and pull out ALL the money you have in there, and keep it hidden in your purse, oh and don't forget your Credit cards!

How can I get my daughter to eat more?



RamiRedeemed -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 6:53:11 PM)

you should probably just let her eat tons of candy. kids like that and its healthy

how fast should i drive to target?



SamsonUSA -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 7:00:34 PM)

As long as the baby isn't in the car I'd say about 90 MPH would be about right.



BeeLuvsAva -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 7:01:00 PM)

as fast as you can! they close in 3 hours, so you better hurry [8D]

How can I fix the leak in my kitchen sink?



RamiRedeemed -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 7:03:55 PM)

just use some elmers glue

how should i clean the spit up off of my couch?



BeeLuvsAva -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 7:09:18 PM)

Bleach! it work's wonders!

what should I say to my boss when I see him for the first time in 8 weeks?



RamiRedeemed -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 7:11:22 PM)

you should probably tell him that he's a loser. a big stinky loser!

what should i take for my tummy ache?



Psalm_40 -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 7:13:34 PM)

You probably just have gas.....so, you know what to do, don't you?

How can I help my cat loose weight?



BeeLuvsAva -> RE: Bad advice (11/29/2008 7:21:14 PM)

stop feeding him/her.

how should I pay my bills this month?



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