RE: The "would you marry thread......."

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Tinkerbell_ -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/15/2008 2:41:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: benelchi quote: Sorry...sex is essential and quite frankly dealing with THREE males in my house I'll have to release my tension somehow and I don't think all my boys would appreciate 50 million crocheted blankets. Extremely important, YES, but essential, NO. I do believe that their are legitimate reasons for marriage without sex, but they are extreme situations and do not reflect a choice not to have sex; however, these are not situations for which we should choose to begin a marriage. For example, in a marriage where a spouse has been afflicted by Alzheimer, the only way that sex could happen would probably be rape (and that would be criminally wrong!), but there still is a marriage and a commitment that must be honored i.e. "in sickness and in health" That doesn't apply to the OP so in all honesty my answer is correct. The OP plainly states: quote: Would you marry a person who is not interested in sex if everything else about him or her is perfect by your standard? Sex is essential. Now I believe it has also been stated that IF something were to PREVENT my spouse from being able to do so, that is a different story. I would have NO problem being married to someone who COULDN'T...I just wouldn't marry someone who WON'T. Understand the difference?

benelchi -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/15/2008 2:55:21 PM)
quote: Sex is essential. Now I believe it has also been stated that IF something were to PREVENT my spouse from being able to do so, that is a different story. I would have NO problem being married to someone who COULDN'T...I just wouldn't marry someone who WON'T. Understand the difference? Yes, I do "understand the difference", and that is why I replied as I did. However, I think your reply demonstrates my point i.e. sex is extremely important, but not essential to marriage. When you say something is "essential" to marriage it means the marriage cannot exist without it, but your reply seems to demonstrate that you do not believe this. I do believe that it is so very important that I would never condone anyone marrying someone who WOULDN'T have sex, but I also wouldn't condone someone divorcing because a spouse COULDN'T have sex.

BugLady -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/15/2008 2:59:21 PM)
...hmm? Would you marry someone with abnormal swelling of the metatarsophalangeal joint? Would you?

skreyola -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/15/2008 3:06:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TNBelle quote: ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker Would you marry a person who is not interested in sex if everything else about him or her is perfect by your standard? No, I wouldn't. Sex is an essential ingredient in marriage. If something happens after being married that makes sex impossible, that would be something difficult to deal with. But to enter a marriage knowing there wasn't going to be sex - no way! Sex in marriage bonds two people on the deepest possible emotional/spiritual levels. Plus, it's a lot of fun! I agree. And to clarify for other (not you, TNBelle), the OP asked about a person uninterested in sex, not unable... and anyway, sexual intimacy is not so much a binary state. Even if intercourse is impossible or contraindicated, the couple can still share sexual intimacy, in most cases. slips back into the shadows

skreyola -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/15/2008 3:11:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BugLady ...hmm? Would you marry someone with abnormal swelling of the metatarsophalangeal joint? Would you? Hmm... that would put a damper on our dancing sessions, so she'd have to be pretty special... I don't know.

Tinkerbell_ -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/15/2008 3:12:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: skreyola quote: ORIGINAL: TNBelle quote: ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker Would you marry a person who is not interested in sex if everything else about him or her is perfect by your standard? No, I wouldn't. Sex is an essential ingredient in marriage. If something happens after being married that makes sex impossible, that would be something difficult to deal with. But to enter a marriage knowing there wasn't going to be sex - no way! Sex in marriage bonds two people on the deepest possible emotional/spiritual levels. Plus, it's a lot of fun! I agree. And to clarify for other (not you, TNBelle), the OP asked about a person uninterested in sex, not unable... and anyway, sexual intimacy is not so much a binary state. Even if intercourse is impossible or contraindicated, the couple can still share sexual intimacy, in most cases. slips back into the shadows Exactly what I was saying, Skrey. [:)]

skreyola -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/15/2008 3:20:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_ quote: ORIGINAL: skreyola quote: ORIGINAL: TNBelle quote: ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker Would you marry a person who is not interested in sex if everything else about him or her is perfect by your standard? No, I wouldn't. Sex is an essential ingredient in marriage. If something happens after being married that makes sex impossible, that would be something difficult to deal with. But to enter a marriage knowing there wasn't going to be sex - no way! Sex in marriage bonds two people on the deepest possible emotional/spiritual levels. Plus, it's a lot of fun! I agree. And to clarify for other (not you, TNBelle), the OP asked about a person uninterested in sex, not unable... and anyway, sexual intimacy is not so much a binary state. Even if intercourse is impossible or contraindicated, the couple can still share sexual intimacy, in most cases. slips back into the shadows Exactly what I was saying, Skrey. [:)] Ah. Yes. I hadn't gotten to your response to the 'correction' attempt when I posted my comment... but I figured you had the right answer. :)

OneOfHisJewels -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/15/2008 8:28:02 PM)
quote: metatarsophalangeal joint? Would you? The meta what joint? What on earth is that?

song -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/15/2008 8:50:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels quote: metatarsophalangeal joint? Would you? The meta what joint? What on earth is that? Google.com [:)]

JoeyWest -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/15/2008 9:22:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels quote: metatarsophalangeal joint? Would you? The meta what joint? What on earth is that? i take it that it isnt important to you?[8D]

JoeyWest -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/15/2008 9:25:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: benelchi quote: Sex is essential. Now I believe it has also been stated that IF something were to PREVENT my spouse from being able to do so, that is a different story. I would have NO problem being married to someone who COULDN'T...I just wouldn't marry someone who WON'T. Understand the difference? Yes, I do "understand the difference", and that is why I replied as I did. However, I think your reply demonstrates my point i.e. sex is extremely important, but not essential to marriage. When you say something is "essential" to marriage it means the marriage cannot exist without it, but your reply seems to demonstrate that you do not believe this. I do believe that it is so very important that I would never condone anyone marrying someone who WOULDN'T have sex, but I also wouldn't condone someone divorcing because a spouse COULDN'T have sex. no one mentioned divorcing someone first off. or do i need to go re-read the posts.

OneJohn410 -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/15/2008 10:50:34 PM)
I was, and you are right... that was not a very serious follow up. I's so sorry. And yet, While Jewels guessed at your answer, I believe I've got a valid follow-up to the OP on post 40. The inverse of your original postulation, someone perfect in every way who is interested in sex, and would you marry them- which would be more challenging. You hope the one 'no thanks' would change their mind after marriage. To know and date someone always looking for it before getting married. There's got to be some explaining about all this between the two, or I don't see how they can survive any 'courtin'' and get to the proposal. This could be really extreme, or else this person has really become an addict. If you say it is plausible- what do you do, kwim? quote: ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker quote: Would you marry someone perfect in every other way, and I mean every other way, only s/he despised the dentist's office and also a lot of dental hygenie practice? (that's as in dragon breath,etc.). Also, since this thread is for me, let's see if four or five people can answer it before another is added? OneJohn, if you were referring to this question, to which I responded with "this is a would you date" question, that's because a person with a bad case of halitosis is going to get screened out before or after the first date in my book, so I wouldn't worry about considering them as a potential marriage material. I guess when I posted the thread, though I meant it to be discussed lightheatedly, I meant the thread to get us to discuss things that would make us stop in our tracks if we found out that the person we're dating who is perfect in every way until he/she dropped this one specific thing....ie, sexual incompatibility. Would that difference be big enough to make us think twice about them as a potential marriage partners. That's the original thought anyway. So, bad breath...I won't even date him.

blueeyedgirl2 -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/15/2008 10:51:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_ Sorry...sex is essential and quite frankly dealing with THREE males in my house I'll have to release my tension somehow and I don't think all my boys would appreciate 50 million crocheted blankets. [8D]And arguing...hmmm...if it were good fun, bantering then yes I could handle it. Constantly picking and fighting? I only prefer that occasionally. [:)] As I started crocheting tonight I thought of this and laughed out loud. I've been crocheting quite a bit lately. . . hope that doesn't mean something. [8D]

John_O -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/15/2008 10:53:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: twinkly now JohnO, who said anything about "hurting" you here? LOL Yes, you are right, I don't like you and I want to hurt you. I get great joy from doing that.... Oye Vey, this is a Tylenol moment if I ever saw one! [sm=aside.gif][sm=error.gif][sm=sadquestion.gif] See. I knew it. Woe is me.. quote: Merry Christmas John O, and btw, thank you for the Christmas card... quote: And a very Merry Christmas to you and yours. I have a sad tale to relate. I got stuck working out of town all weekend and I tried to wish everyone I dealt with a Merry Christmas. It caught most folks by surprise. No one else wished me a Merry Christmas first. How sad that we've drifted away from such a wonderful greeting at this time of year.

skreyola -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/15/2008 11:06:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels quote: metatarsophalangeal joint? Would you? The meta what joint? What on earth is that? I didn't even have to search for this one. It'd be a joint between a bone in the middle of the foot and the bones of the toes (remember, tarsal, metatarsal, phlanges for the feet, carpal, metacarpal, phalanges for the hands... I paid attention that day in biology).

OneOfHisJewels -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/16/2008 1:53:09 AM)
Welll, I don't remember that, but I do remember: Kingdom Phylum Class Order Family Genus Species [8D]

rgod -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/16/2008 2:35:01 AM)
I just remember chloroform ... and talking in biology class and getting in trouble. If I said it wasn't my fault (maybe someone talked to me and I just smiled back) or I even looked like I was going to protest, my teacher would peer at me over his black thick horn-rimmed glasses and say in a very thick Portuguese accent "Ms. Rgod - remember, it takes TWO to tango." So I couldn't win. I'm really impressed that you both remembered so much!

BugLady -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/16/2008 2:35:15 AM)
...what about someone who screams in their sleep?

rgod -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/16/2008 2:37:25 AM)
I could handle someone who screamed in their sleep as long as we could find out why. Maybe something happened that needs to be dealt with. I can't imagine someone wanting to hold on to that habit.

BugLady -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/16/2008 2:40:34 AM)
not a habit - flashback nightmares from PTSD

rgod -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/16/2008 2:42:59 AM)
Oh - now that makes more sense (duh!) Yes BugLady - I could deal with it. I would also stand by them and gently encourage them to get help when the are ready to confront it. What about you?

BugLady -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/16/2008 2:53:05 AM)
I think standing by them with gentle encouragement would be appropriate. Something deeply buried into the subconcious because it's too painful bear will take a lot of understanding.

twinkly -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/16/2008 6:21:44 AM)
JohnO, no one saying Merry Christmas first is sad.... :-( If you are in woe and need to feel better... I have some Tylenol... hehe How about a chocolate santa? I have some of those too!!! Here is a "would you marry" question... would you marry someone who was EXTREMELY frugal? Like, beyond the norm of frugal? Bordering on cheap? For me, as long as it was not expected that I be the same way, and It did not cause huge issue that I was not, and all other things were in harmony, I would. It would probably not hurt me to be a bit more frugal, however, don't expect it to the extreme! I am under that adage that you "can't take it with you" LOL Not sure though, if someone were THAT frugal (or cheap) how it would not cause a problem if you are to be in agreement on purchases and such. Hmmm.....

SamsonUSA -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/16/2008 10:15:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: twinkly JohnO, no one saying Merry Christmas first is sad.... :-( If you are in woe and need to feel better... I have some Tylenol... hehe How about a chocolate santa? I have some of those too!!! Here is a "would you marry" question... would you marry someone who was EXTREMELY frugal? Like, beyond the norm of frugal? Bordering on cheap? For me, as long as it was not expected that I be the same way, and It did not cause huge issue that I was not, and all other things were in harmony, I would. It would probably not hurt me to be a bit more frugal, however, don't expect it to the extreme! I am under that adage that you "can't take it with you" LOL Not sure though, if someone were THAT frugal (or cheap) how it would not cause a problem if you are to be in agreement on purchases and such. Hmmm..... I wouldn't even date someone frugal so the answer would be a resounding NO! Though it isn't required in scripture that we need to share the same spiritual gifts with our future spouses I don't see how someone with an extreme gift of mercy could live in harmony with someone who is cheap. I have been blessed with a great career in which I am well compensated. I know He has done so that I can freely give to my church and to ministries that benefit children in need, including the non profit I am being led to start. So a frugal person and one who sees all of their blessings as coming from God to be used as a vessel to funnel them back into the Kingdom wouldn't make a good match.

twinkly -> RE: The "would you marry thread......." (12/16/2008 11:28:04 AM)
samson, when you word it that way, you are right. 2 people really do need to be in the same page. thanks for the clarification.

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