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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/15/2008 2:41:11 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 7978
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
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quote:
ORIGINAL: benelchi
quote:
Sorry...sex is essential and quite frankly dealing with THREE males in my house I'll have to release my tension somehow and I don't think all my boys would appreciate 50 million crocheted blankets.
Extremely important, YES, but essential, NO.
I do believe that their are legitimate reasons for marriage without sex, but they are extreme situations and do not reflect a choice not to have sex; however, these are not situations for which we should choose to begin a marriage. For example, in a marriage where a spouse has been afflicted by Alzheimer, the only way that sex could happen would probably be rape (and that would be criminally wrong!), but there still is a marriage and a commitment that must be honored i.e. "in sickness and in health"
That doesn't apply to the OP so in all honesty my answer is correct.
The OP plainly states:
quote:
Would you marry a person who is not interested in sex if everything else about him or her is perfect by your standard?
Sex is essential. Now I believe it has also been stated that IF something were to PREVENT my spouse from being able to do so, that is a different story. I would have NO problem being married to someone who COULDN'T...I just wouldn't marry someone who WON'T.
Understand the difference?
_____________________________
When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/15/2008 2:55:21 PM
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benelchi
Posts: 4642
Joined: 9/14/2007
From: California
Status: online
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quote:
Sex is essential. Now I believe it has also been stated that IF something were to PREVENT my spouse from being able to do so, that is a different story. I would have NO problem being married to someone who COULDN'T...I just wouldn't marry someone who WON'T.
Understand the difference?
Yes, I do "understand the difference", and that is why I replied as I did. However, I think your reply demonstrates my point i.e. sex is extremely important, but not essential to marriage. When you say something is "essential" to marriage it means the marriage cannot exist without it, but your reply seems to demonstrate that you do not believe this. I do believe that it is so very important that I would never condone anyone marrying someone who WOULDN'T have sex, but I also wouldn't condone someone divorcing because a spouse COULDN'T have sex.
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/15/2008 2:59:21 PM
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BugLady
Posts: 3679
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...hmm? Would you marry someone with abnormal swelling of the metatarsophalangeal joint? Would you?
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/15/2008 3:06:36 PM
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skreyola
Posts: 875
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From: 31/M/325[0-9][0-9]
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TNBelle
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Would you marry a person who is not interested in sex if everything else about him or her is perfect by your standard?
No, I wouldn't. Sex is an essential ingredient in marriage. If something happens after being married that makes sex impossible, that would be something difficult to deal with. But to enter a marriage knowing there wasn't going to be sex - no way! Sex in marriage bonds two people on the deepest possible emotional/spiritual levels. Plus, it's a lot of fun!
I agree. And to clarify for other (not you, TNBelle), the OP asked about a person uninterested in sex, not unable... and anyway, sexual intimacy is not so much a binary state. Even if intercourse is impossible or contraindicated, the couple can still share sexual intimacy, in most cases.
*slips back into the shadows*
_____________________________
-- Skreyola, who has left the building.
To learn from your experiences is good, but to learn from the experiences of others is better.
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/15/2008 3:11:52 PM
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skreyola
Posts: 875
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From: 31/M/325[0-9][0-9]
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
...hmm? Would you marry someone with abnormal swelling of the metatarsophalangeal joint? Would you?
Hmm... that would put a damper on our dancing sessions, so she'd have to be pretty special... I don't know.
_____________________________
-- Skreyola, who has left the building.
To learn from your experiences is good, but to learn from the experiences of others is better.
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/15/2008 3:12:24 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 7978
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
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quote:
ORIGINAL: skreyola
quote:
ORIGINAL: TNBelle
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Would you marry a person who is not interested in sex if everything else about him or her is perfect by your standard?
No, I wouldn't. Sex is an essential ingredient in marriage. If something happens after being married that makes sex impossible, that would be something difficult to deal with. But to enter a marriage knowing there wasn't going to be sex - no way! Sex in marriage bonds two people on the deepest possible emotional/spiritual levels. Plus, it's a lot of fun!
I agree. And to clarify for other (not you, TNBelle), the OP asked about a person uninterested in sex, not unable... and anyway, sexual intimacy is not so much a binary state. Even if intercourse is impossible or contraindicated, the couple can still share sexual intimacy, in most cases.
*slips back into the shadows*
Exactly what I was saying, Skrey. 
_____________________________
When I've shown you that I just don't care
When I'm throwing punches in the air
When I'm broken down and I can't stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/15/2008 3:20:43 PM
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skreyola
Posts: 875
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From: 31/M/325[0-9][0-9]
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_
quote:
ORIGINAL: skreyola
quote:
ORIGINAL: TNBelle
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Would you marry a person who is not interested in sex if everything else about him or her is perfect by your standard?
No, I wouldn't. Sex is an essential ingredient in marriage. If something happens after being married that makes sex impossible, that would be something difficult to deal with. But to enter a marriage knowing there wasn't going to be sex - no way! Sex in marriage bonds two people on the deepest possible emotional/spiritual levels. Plus, it's a lot of fun!
I agree. And to clarify for other (not you, TNBelle), the OP asked about a person uninterested in sex, not unable... and anyway, sexual intimacy is not so much a binary state. Even if intercourse is impossible or contraindicated, the couple can still share sexual intimacy, in most cases.
*slips back into the shadows*
Exactly what I was saying, Skrey.
Ah. Yes. I hadn't gotten to your response to the 'correction' attempt when I posted my comment... but I figured you had the right answer. :)
_____________________________
-- Skreyola, who has left the building.
To learn from your experiences is good, but to learn from the experiences of others is better.
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/15/2008 8:28:02 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2584
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quote:
metatarsophalangeal joint? Would you?
The meta what joint? What on earth is that?
_____________________________
There is no greater magic than the magic of love...Zeddicus Zuel Zyrander
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/15/2008 8:50:11 PM
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song
Posts: 262
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Southern Florida
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
quote:
metatarsophalangeal joint? Would you?
The meta what joint? What on earth is that?
Google.com
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you are beautiful my sweet sweet song...
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/15/2008 9:25:01 PM
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JoeyWest
Posts: 1048
Joined: 10/1/2008
From: Alabama with a guitar in my hands
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: benelchi
quote:
Sex is essential. Now I believe it has also been stated that IF something were to PREVENT my spouse from being able to do so, that is a different story. I would have NO problem being married to someone who COULDN'T...I just wouldn't marry someone who WON'T.
Understand the difference?
Yes, I do "understand the difference", and that is why I replied as I did. However, I think your reply demonstrates my point i.e. sex is extremely important, but not essential to marriage. When you say something is "essential" to marriage it means the marriage cannot exist without it, but your reply seems to demonstrate that you do not believe this. I do believe that it is so very important that I would never condone anyone marrying someone who WOULDN'T have sex, but I also wouldn't condone someone divorcing because a spouse COULDN'T have sex.
no one mentioned divorcing someone first off. or do i need to go re-read the posts.
_____________________________
FOR THOSE WHO HAVE FOUGHT FOR IT, FREEDOM HAS A TASTE THE PROTECTED WILL NEVER KNOW.
The Medic, the unsung hero on every battlefield. It is impossible to imagine the mental/emotional trauma inside a Medic, and there is no triage for that.
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/15/2008 10:50:34 PM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1536
Joined: 6/1/2008
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I was, and you are right... that was not a very serious follow up. I's so sorry. And yet, While Jewels guessed at your answer, I believe I've got a valid follow-up to the OP on post 40. The inverse of your original postulation, someone perfect in every way who is interested in sex, and would you marry them- which would be more challenging. You hope the one 'no thanks' would change their mind after marriage. To know and date someone always looking for it before getting married. There's got to be some explaining about all this between the two, or I don't see how they can survive any 'courtin'' and get to the proposal.
This could be really extreme, or else this person has really become an addict. If you say it is plausible- what do you do, kwim?
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
Would you marry someone perfect in every other way, and I mean every other way, only s/he despised the dentist's office and also a lot of dental hygenie practice? (that's as in dragon breath,etc.). Also, since this thread is for me, let's see if four or five people can answer it before another is added?
OneJohn, if you were referring to this question, to which I responded with "this is a would you date" question, that's because a person with a bad case of halitosis is going to get screened out before or after the first date in my book, so I wouldn't worry about considering them as a potential marriage material.
I guess when I posted the thread, though I meant it to be discussed lightheatedly, I meant the thread to get us to discuss things that would make us stop in our tracks if we found out that the person we're dating who is perfect in every way until he/she dropped this one specific thing....ie, sexual incompatibility. Would that difference be big enough to make us think twice about them as a potential marriage partners. That's the original thought anyway.
So, bad breath...I won't even date him.
_____________________________
"Now Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, 'Oh that Thou wouldst bless me indeed, and enlarge my border, and that Thy hand might be with me, and that Thou wouldst keep me from harm, that it might not pain me!' And God granted him what he requested."
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/15/2008 11:06:59 PM
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skreyola
Posts: 875
Joined: 1/28/2008
From: 31/M/325[0-9][0-9]
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
quote:
metatarsophalangeal joint? Would you?
The meta what joint? What on earth is that?
I didn't even have to search for this one. It'd be a joint between a bone in the middle of the foot and the bones of the toes (remember, tarsal, metatarsal, phlanges for the feet, carpal, metacarpal, phalanges for the hands... I paid attention that day in biology).
_____________________________
-- Skreyola, who has left the building.
To learn from your experiences is good, but to learn from the experiences of others is better.
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/16/2008 1:53:09 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2584
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From: out of the everywhere into here
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Welll, I don't remember that, but I do remember:
Kingdom
Phylum
Class
Order
Family
Genus
Species
_____________________________
There is no greater magic than the magic of love...Zeddicus Zuel Zyrander
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/16/2008 2:35:01 AM
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rgod
Posts: 1932
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
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I just remember chloroform ... and talking in biology class and getting in trouble. If I said it wasn't my fault (maybe someone talked to me and I just smiled back) or I even looked like I was going to protest, my teacher would peer at me over his black thick horn-rimmed glasses and say in a very thick Portuguese accent "Ms. Rgod - remember, it takes TWO to tango." So I couldn't win.
I'm really impressed that you both remembered so much!
_____________________________
"The road to the promised land runs past Sinai." - C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain
"It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until he has hurt him deeply." - A.W. Tozer
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/16/2008 2:35:15 AM
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BugLady
Posts: 3679
Joined: 12/5/2005
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...what about someone who screams in their sleep?
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/16/2008 2:37:25 AM
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rgod
Posts: 1932
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I could handle someone who screamed in their sleep as long as we could find out why. Maybe something happened that needs to be dealt with. I can't imagine someone wanting to hold on to that habit.
_____________________________
"The road to the promised land runs past Sinai." - C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain
"It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until he has hurt him deeply." - A.W. Tozer
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/16/2008 2:40:34 AM
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BugLady
Posts: 3679
Joined: 12/5/2005
From:
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not a habit - flashback nightmares from PTSD
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/16/2008 2:42:59 AM
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rgod
Posts: 1932
Joined: 4/25/2005
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Oh - now that makes more sense (duh!) Yes BugLady - I could deal with it. I would also stand by them and gently encourage them to get help when the are ready to confront it. What about you?
_____________________________
"The road to the promised land runs past Sinai." - C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain
"It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until he has hurt him deeply." - A.W. Tozer
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/16/2008 2:53:05 AM
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BugLady
Posts: 3679
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I think standing by them with gentle encouragement would be appropriate. Something deeply buried into the subconcious because it's too painful bear will take a lot of understanding.
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/16/2008 6:21:44 AM
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twinkly
Posts: 473
Joined: 6/21/2008
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JohnO, no one saying Merry Christmas first is sad.... :-(
If you are in woe and need to feel better... I have some Tylenol... hehe How about a chocolate santa? I have some of those too!!!
Here is a "would you marry" question...
would you marry someone who was EXTREMELY frugal? Like, beyond the norm of frugal? Bordering on cheap?
For me, as long as it was not expected that I be the same way, and It did not cause huge issue that I was not, and all other things were in harmony, I would. It would probably not hurt me to be a bit more frugal, however, don't expect it to the extreme! I am under that adage that you "can't take it with you" LOL Not sure though, if someone were THAT frugal (or cheap) how it would not cause a problem if you are to be in agreement on purchases and such. Hmmm.....
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/16/2008 10:15:37 AM
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SamsonUSA
Posts: 2096
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Laguna Beach. Presently an Arizona desert dweller
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quote:
ORIGINAL: twinkly
JohnO, no one saying Merry Christmas first is sad.... :-(
If you are in woe and need to feel better... I have some Tylenol... hehe How about a chocolate santa? I have some of those too!!!
Here is a "would you marry" question...
would you marry someone who was EXTREMELY frugal? Like, beyond the norm of frugal? Bordering on cheap?
For me, as long as it was not expected that I be the same way, and It did not cause huge issue that I was not, and all other things were in harmony, I would. It would probably not hurt me to be a bit more frugal, however, don't expect it to the extreme! I am under that adage that you "can't take it with you" LOL Not sure though, if someone were THAT frugal (or cheap) how it would not cause a problem if you are to be in agreement on purchases and such. Hmmm.....
I wouldn't even date someone frugal so the answer would be a resounding NO! Though it isn't required in scripture that we need to share the same spiritual gifts with our future spouses I don't see how someone with an extreme gift of mercy could live in harmony with someone who is cheap.
I have been blessed with a great career in which I am well compensated. I know He has done so that I can freely give to my church and to ministries that benefit children in need, including the non profit I am being led to start. So a frugal person and one who sees all of their blessings as coming from God to be used as a vessel to funnel them back into the Kingdom wouldn't make a good match.
_____________________________
The heart of education is the education of the heart.
"You are never more free than when you fulfill the plan God has for your life." Warren Wiersbe
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RE: The "would you marry thread......." - 12/16/2008 11:28:04 AM
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twinkly
Posts: 473
Joined: 6/21/2008
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samson, when you word it that way, you are right. 2 people really do need to be in the same page.
thanks for the clarification.
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