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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 12:19:47 PM
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sunshinesoprano
Posts: 364
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Georgia
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Me, too! I have no idea what the clues are, so I've always said God would have to hit me over the head with something to know.
Gracious. I'm just praying Bass (AKA Blue Eyes) will make a move!!!
_____________________________
Pure Heart-Fresh, Progressive Southern Gospel
Sing, laugh, love, PRAISE!
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 12:56:57 PM
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vikingfan
Posts: 91
Joined: 1/24/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: vikingfan
quote:
ORIGINAL: Elena1030
vikingfan:
Suggest a quick bite/snack/beverage on campus somewhere... cafeteria, grille, lounge. At my alma mater, we had a student lounge with a pinball machine, a few arcade games (Gallega; Mortal Kombat), pool tables, vending machines, a huuuge TV on which to watch MTV (note: this was the 90s when pop music wasn't as lame as it is today), and lots of couches.
Or... suggest taking a walk on campus.
If I was interested in a guy, and he had interest in me, then I'd be pretty psyched if he made sure that he walked alongside me as class was letting out, walked with me to our next classes, chatted on the way, and found a way to ask me to a casual meetup (the coffee/snack idea). Maybe he'd ask what I thought about something from class... or ask about my major... or ask why I chose this school. Maybe he'd say something about what he noticed about me.
It's OK if you're a bit awkward and dorky. Just be sincere. If she's open to hanging out with you and seeing if she wants to date you, then any awkwardness won't prevent her from accepting your invite.
So... don't worry. Initiate! 
Thanks. Of course, part of the danger might be that she is already taken. I found that out today when I hopped on the shuttle, saw a girl that seemed friendly, she was, I talked with her, looked her up on facebook, and lo and behold, already taken.
Facebook is so useful for things like this...otherwise it gets really awkward asking them if they're already taken (because obviously, I don't want to suggest a walk or coffee or whatever). But thank you very much for the advice. there is a girl in one of my classes that has been smiling at me lately whenever she hands me the attendance sheet, so we will see how that goes.
Thank you very much for the advice! Generally speaking, I find that girls are pretty quick to mention if they are already dating someone (I don't usually look at the ring finger, although maybe I should), but not always.
and lo and behold, the girl that was all friendly to me in class and seeming to wait for my initiation turns out to already be engaged! 
glad I just asked her name, then looked her up on facebook before I made a mistake.
hmm...clues can be so difficult to read sometimes. I would have sworn she was interested. I'm not sad or anything, just figuring things out for the future.
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 1:04:20 PM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2675
Status: offline
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quote:
Generally speaking, I find that girls are pretty quick to mention if they are already dating someone (I don't usually look at the ring finger, although maybe I should), but not always.
If I was dating someone, I would tell the guy if he seemed to be flirting with me. Although, looking at my ring finger wouldn't help him out much, I wear a purity ring, so yeah!
_____________________________
Learning to become the young woman God wants me to be...though somedays I fail, I know He will always pick me up and we can start fresh the next day. :)
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 1:34:37 PM
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John_O
Posts: 7516
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
quote:
Generally speaking, I find that girls are pretty quick to mention if they are already dating someone (I don't usually look at the ring finger, although maybe I should), but not always.
If I was dating someone, I would tell the guy if he seemed to be flirting with me. Although, looking at my ring finger wouldn't help him out much, I wear a purity ring, so yeah!
Assuming I was of the proper age, or you were, I'd never ask you out as you are already taken.
Purity rings are cool, but the left index finger needs to be reserved for the real thing IMNSHO.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 1:39:51 PM
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broyce1981
Posts: 907
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline
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I don't even look at fingers. I'm too afraid she'll catch me looking at her fingers and I'll get embarrassed.
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 1:41:29 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 8106
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
quote:
Generally speaking, I find that girls are pretty quick to mention if they are already dating someone (I don't usually look at the ring finger, although maybe I should), but not always.
If I was dating someone, I would tell the guy if he seemed to be flirting with me. Although, looking at my ring finger wouldn't help him out much, I wear a purity ring, so yeah!
Assuming I was of the proper age, or you were, I'd never ask you out as you are already taken.
Purity rings are cool, but the left index finger needs to be reserved for the real thing IMNSHO.
Actually that's left ring finger. The index is the pointer finger. 
I wear a simple sapphire ring on my ring finger, but I wear my old wedding set on my right ring finger.
_____________________________
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 1:59:25 PM
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John_O
Posts: 7516
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
quote:
Generally speaking, I find that girls are pretty quick to mention if they are already dating someone (I don't usually look at the ring finger, although maybe I should), but not always.
If I was dating someone, I would tell the guy if he seemed to be flirting with me. Although, looking at my ring finger wouldn't help him out much, I wear a purity ring, so yeah!
Assuming I was of the proper age, or you were, I'd never ask you out as you are already taken.
Purity rings are cool, but the left index finger needs to be reserved for the real thing IMNSHO.
Actually that's left ring finger. The index is the pointer finger.
I wear a simple sapphire ring on my ring finger, but I wear my old wedding set on my right ring finger.
I hate when I miss the simple things like that. Maybe thats why every good looking woman I run into seems to be engaged.
Still, that left ring finger needs to be vacant unless you're trying to discourage guys from asking you out. Ring on left hand = taken. No guy worth going out with will ask a woman out who's already taken.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 2:07:12 PM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2675
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
quote:
Generally speaking, I find that girls are pretty quick to mention if they are already dating someone (I don't usually look at the ring finger, although maybe I should), but not always.
If I was dating someone, I would tell the guy if he seemed to be flirting with me. Although, looking at my ring finger wouldn't help him out much, I wear a purity ring, so yeah!
Assuming I was of the proper age, or you were, I'd never ask you out as you are already taken.
Purity rings are cool, but the left index finger needs to be reserved for the real thing IMNSHO.
I don't get it, I'm not already taken. I'm confused now, reading these textbooks is melting my brain... 
Yeah, I used to think that, but I don't know I just like wearing one, it has opened several doors to witness.
And it seems that the guys either a. don't consider that I have a ring on my left hand or b. don't care, because they still ask me out!
_____________________________
Learning to become the young woman God wants me to be...though somedays I fail, I know He will always pick me up and we can start fresh the next day. :)
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 2:42:10 PM
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Mrs.Benelchi
Posts: 1754
Joined: 2/11/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
quote:
Generally speaking, I find that girls are pretty quick to mention if they are already dating someone (I don't usually look at the ring finger, although maybe I should), but not always.
If I was dating someone, I would tell the guy if he seemed to be flirting with me. Although, looking at my ring finger wouldn't help him out much, I wear a purity ring, so yeah!
Assuming I was of the proper age, or you were, I'd never ask you out as you are already taken.
Purity rings are cool, but the left index finger needs to be reserved for the real thing IMNSHO.
I don't get it, I'm not already taken. I'm confused now, reading these textbooks is melting my brain...
Yeah, I used to think that, but I don't know I just like wearing one, it has opened several doors to witness.
And it seems that the guys either a. don't consider that I have a ring on my left hand or b. don't care, because they still ask me out!
There are purity rings out there that look nothing like a wedding/engagement ring. I really don't see why they need to be worn on the left hand though.....just my opinion.
_____________________________
When life gets too hard to stand.....kneel.
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 2:47:52 PM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2675
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
quote:
Generally speaking, I find that girls are pretty quick to mention if they are already dating someone (I don't usually look at the ring finger, although maybe I should), but not always.
If I was dating someone, I would tell the guy if he seemed to be flirting with me. Although, looking at my ring finger wouldn't help him out much, I wear a purity ring, so yeah!
Assuming I was of the proper age, or you were, I'd never ask you out as you are already taken.
Purity rings are cool, but the left index finger needs to be reserved for the real thing IMNSHO.
I don't get it, I'm not already taken. I'm confused now, reading these textbooks is melting my brain...
Yeah, I used to think that, but I don't know I just like wearing one, it has opened several doors to witness.
And it seems that the guys either a. don't consider that I have a ring on my left hand or b. don't care, because they still ask me out!
There are purity rings out there that look nothing like a wedding/engagement ring. I really don't see why they need to be worn on the left hand though.....just my opinion.
Mine doesn't look like one, it has the word purity etched into it...
I think for me the wearing it on the left hand is to remind myself that it's there and when people ask about it, to make myself be accountable for it. I used to wear it on my right hand, but it was just another ring there, no one hasseled me about it, no one noticed it at all actually. For me, it's being able to look someone in the eye when they ask about it and tell them with out a shadow of a doubt in my mind that I believe that waiting for the right person will be worth it.
But, like your opinion is your opinion, that is only my opinion also.
_____________________________
Learning to become the young woman God wants me to be...though somedays I fail, I know He will always pick me up and we can start fresh the next day. :)
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 2:49:49 PM
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John_O
Posts: 7516
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
I don't get it, I'm not already taken. I'm confused now, reading these textbooks is melting my brain...
Ring on the left ring finger = engaged or promised. An honorable man would see the ring and figure you were already taken. Only a scoundrel would scam on someone else's promised woman. Remember, if He'll cheat with you he'll cheat on you.
quote:
And it seems that the guys either a. don't consider that I have a ring on my left hand or b. don't care, because they still ask me out!
I'll give them the benfeit of teh doubt and assume that they already know from another source that it's a purity ring and not a promise ring. Else they are not honorable men.
quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
There are purity rings out there that look nothing like a wedding/engagement ring. I really don't see why they need to be worn on the left hand though.....just my opinion.
Any ring (and every ring) on the left ring finger looks like an engagement ring. It's on the engagement finger after all.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 2:52:29 PM
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John_O
Posts: 7516
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
Mine doesn't look like one, it has the word purity etched into it...
If it's on the left ring finger, it has to be assumed to be an engagement ring.
quote:
I think for me the wearing it on the left hand is to remind myself that it's there and when people ask about it, to make myself be accountable for it. I used to wear it on my right hand, but it was just another ring there, no one hasseled me about it, no one noticed it at all actually. For me, it's being able to look someone in the eye when they ask about it and tell them with out a shadow of a doubt in my mind that I believe that waiting for the right person will be worth it.
But, like your opinion is your opinion, that is only my opinion also.
And that is very cool. My point was that when a woman becomes ready to search for a husband, wearing a ring on the left ring finger is telling all the honorable guys out there that she's already taken. So many who would be interested won't even ask (and may not even talk much) because she appears to be engaged already.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 2:59:40 PM
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JustPeachy
Posts: 4037
Joined: 6/14/2007
From: the state of confusion
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
Any ring (and every ring) on the left ring finger looks like an engagement ring. It's on the engagement finger after all.
I don't see it that way. My daughter, 14 yr. old, has a purity ring with the word purity etched on it also. She is like JC in the opinion that it helps remind her to remain pure for the man God sends her way. I have several rings I wear on my left ring finger just because of work. I am right-handed and, for some reason, rings on my right hand bother me at work. I end up taking them off and laying them on my desk. Not so with the rings I wear on my left hand. JMO, for what it's worth.....
_____________________________
Jeannie
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 3:04:45 PM
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Psalms274
Posts: 2520
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JustJeannie
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
Any ring (and every ring) on the left ring finger looks like an engagement ring. It's on the engagement finger after all.
I don't see it that way. My daughter, 14 yr. old, has a purity ring with the word purity etched on it also. She is like JC in the opinion that it helps remind her to remain pure for the man God sends her way. I have several rings I wear on my left ring finger just because of work. I am right-handed and, for some reason, rings on my right hand bother me at work. I end up taking them off and laying them on my desk. Not so with the rings I wear on my left hand. JMO, for what it's worth.....
I agree ... a purity ring is also worn on the left ring finger. Most young guys are aware of that ... it might be that the older guys don't get that, but who wants an old coot anyways!  I'm kidding! In all seriousness, the purity rings have only been around for 15 years, so some in the older generations may be unaware of them.
_____________________________
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 3:09:27 PM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2675
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Psalms274
quote:
ORIGINAL: JustJeannie
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
Any ring (and every ring) on the left ring finger looks like an engagement ring. It's on the engagement finger after all.
I don't see it that way. My daughter, 14 yr. old, has a purity ring with the word purity etched on it also. She is like JC in the opinion that it helps remind her to remain pure for the man God sends her way. I have several rings I wear on my left ring finger just because of work. I am right-handed and, for some reason, rings on my right hand bother me at work. I end up taking them off and laying them on my desk. Not so with the rings I wear on my left hand. JMO, for what it's worth.....
I agree ... a purity ring is also worn on the left ring finger. Most young guys are aware of that ... it might be that the older guys don't get that, but who wants an old coot anyways! I'm kidding! In all seriousness, the purity rings have only been around for 15 years, so some in the older generations may be unaware of them.
Oh, wow! You make me laugh! Rebecca St. James is my role model and she is were I found out about wearing a purity ring, I've worn one for the majority of nine years now. (I went through a "it's so uncool" little streak around my junior and senior year in high school)
_____________________________
Learning to become the young woman God wants me to be...though somedays I fail, I know He will always pick me up and we can start fresh the next day. :)
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 3:15:06 PM
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John_O
Posts: 7516
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JustJeannie
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
Any ring (and every ring) on the left ring finger looks like an engagement ring. It's on the engagement finger after all.
I don't see it that way. My daughter, 14 yr. old, has a purity ring with the word purity etched on it also. She is like JC in the opinion that it helps remind her to remain pure for the man God sends her way. I have several rings I wear on my left ring finger just because of work. I am right-handed and, for some reason, rings on my right hand bother me at work. I end up taking them off and laying them on my desk. Not so with the rings I wear on my left hand. JMO, for what it's worth.....
Your daughter shouldn't be looking for a husband yet anyway so for her it's no big deal. When she gets to marryable age however she'll be greatly reducing the number of men who will ask her out because she looks engaged already.
For you, If I saw you out and about and saw a ring on your left finger, I'd not even talk to you beyond "Hi" or "excuse me". After all, you're engaged and unavailable.
I may be a bit old-fashioned on this, but around here, honorable men don't ask out engaged women. And we are teaching the young men (and older boys) the same thing. If they'll cheat with you they'll cheat on you.
For a guy, Unless he is looking for a quick fling it is suicide to ask a girl out who's wearing a ring. She'll either get upset and you'll end up talking to her fiance (which could egt unpleasant) or she'll go out with you. If she'll cheat with you, eventually she'll cheat on you. Great way to get your heart broken, and perhaps lose a house. Far safer to just ignore any women who's wearing a ring on her left ring finger.
I understand the purity ring. I think they are cool. But when it comes time to search for a husband, move the ring to the other hand. Why discourage the very guys you'd be interested in from talking to you?
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 4:06:58 PM
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rebakahblam
Posts: 1488
Joined: 12/6/2008
From: Indianapolis
Status: offline
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i have to agree with john_o on this.
i understand that the ring may have purity etched on it and the symbolism of wearing it on the ring finger but if a man just happens to glance down he may not see that it is indeed just a purity ring and not an engagement ring.
i happen to notice on men now whether or not there is a ring on the left hand and if there is, regardless of what finger (since I don't have time to often closely examine their hands) i just assume he's taken and move my little heart along. if it's on the right hand though i usually assume it's a ring with a different significance.
i'd suggest moving your ring to your right hand just so the confusion i mentioned doesn't hurt your chances.
-reba.
_____________________________
<<<<can't nobody pull off aviators like i can.
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 4:13:13 PM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2675
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rebakahblam
i have to agree with john_o on this.
i understand that the ring may have purity etched on it and the symbolism of wearing it on the ring finger but if a man just happens to glance down he may not see that it is indeed just a purity ring and not an engagement ring.
i happen to notice on men now whether or not there is a ring on the left hand and if there is, regardless of what finger (since I don't have time to often closely examine their hands) i just assume he's taken and move my little heart along. if it's on the right hand though i usually assume it's a ring with a different significance.
i'd suggest moving your ring to your right hand just so the confusion i mentioned doesn't hurt your chances.
-reba.
Thinking about all you guys said, my guy friends all wear theirs on chains around their necks considering they are all athletes and don't want to mess them up wearing them on their hands. But, I will think about this.
As far as guys, if I really want to know, I ask! LOL! Unless I really like him, then I just get speechless anyways...
_____________________________
Learning to become the young woman God wants me to be...though somedays I fail, I know He will always pick me up and we can start fresh the next day. :)
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RE: How Do You Let Someone Know.... - 2/4/2009 6:41:07 PM
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Elena1030
Posts: 2521
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Music City, USA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rebakahblam
i have to agree with john_o on this.
i understand that the ring may have purity etched on it and the symbolism of wearing it on the ring finger but if a man just happens to glance down he may not see that it is indeed just a purity ring and not an engagement ring.
Yep.
In general, men just don't pay attention to details.... So... flash of metal on that hand, no matter what finger? An engaged!!! alert goes off in the dude's brain. As John_O said, the honorable men play it safe and don't make a move on a woman who could even possibly be engaged, no matter how slight the possibility.
And... some women don't choose diamond solitaires as engagement rings (if they have the choosing of them). So... a ring that I might wear just to wear -- like a star sapphire -- might be chosen by someone else to be her engagement ring.
Many men do not wish to be experts on women's jewelry, so they're not going to know about the possible nuances of meaning as to why a woman is wearing this type of ring or that.
Thus, I have stopped wearing rings on my left hand at all. After some wonderfully enlightening threads right here on Crosswalk!
{Interestingly enough, one gal who participated in those discussions... last year? in 2007? ... is now happily married! *shoutout to mmartiandt, if she's lurking*}
quote:
i happen to notice on men now whether or not there is a ring on the left hand and if there is, regardless of what finger (since I don't have time to often closely examine their hands) i just assume he's taken and move my little heart along. if it's on the right hand though i usually assume it's a ring with a different significance.
Me too.
I'm pretty quick with the ring check. 
_____________________________
Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
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Maybe that's why I am still single. 
