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[Poll]
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Left ring finger ... what does your's look like?
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| Bare - so people know I'm single |
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| Bare - because I don't wear any rings |
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| True Love Waits or similar type ring |
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| Just a ring - because it fits there and is pretty |
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| A wedding/engagement style ring - so people think I'm not available |
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| Bare sometimes, wedding/engagement style ring sometimes |
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| The One Ring - so I can be invisible (sorry - had to) |
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| Other? (Please explain ... a rubber band to remind of ...?) |
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Total Votes : 55
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(last vote on : 4/15/2009 9:44:34 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does your's look like? - 4/9/2009 3:06:50 PM
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joy2give2u
Posts: 2695
Status: offline
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quote:
I have never given God any specifications and did not say or implied that I did. But you did Karen........I am not saying you are wrong......I am just pointing out that you said You will not talk to strangers therefore if God were to bring a man into your life as a stranger you would not talk to him............I now understand why you will not talk to strangers and agree it is probably wise........but that doesn't change the fact you are saying to us and to the Lord as well.
quote:
Any man whom I have never met who approaches me with a line or just to talk is not going to get anywhere with me.
I am not trying to pick on you or be mean.........I just wonder if sometimes there are double standards we all use........we see reason and rationale in our decisions yet fail to acknowledge another may have a reason why they do the same...........
quote:
Call me picky, but I call it my way and if God wanted me to look differently He is more than welcome to change my mind; I am sure He will but since it's not a conviction then I will do what I feel is best for my situation.
I agree Tink which is maybe why I get so confused when I read people placing qualifier on others because they take the same stand just about something different........
Does that make sense to anyone? Or maybe I should just stop posting today cause admittedly I am not getting much of what is being said today...........
I guess that is what happens when I am bored to death at work.........most people are gone and I am trying to keep myself from falling asleep.........
Karen please know I was not speaking specifically to you but your statements were a perfect example of what I was addressing.........
If a woman choose to use a ring on her left ring finger fine..........if a man doesn't approach her because she does then fine........but why use their view as a negative against them?
_____________________________
A Christian community should be a place where our common purpose is strong enough to make our differences of secondary importance.
Lake Michigan
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does your's look like? - 4/9/2009 10:56:52 PM
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tz3
Posts: 701
Status: offline
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I used to ware rings on various fingers. 2 years before my R passed away we were both out of work. It had gotten so bad financial I sold everything including my wedding ring and jewlery chest. Now all I own is my purity ring which I ware on my right hand and one necklace given to me by R a few weeks before his passing. I just can't bring myself to buy jewlery or ware it; so that hand will stay bear until someone puts his ring on it. It really has nothing to do with availability. I vasilate between wanting someone and not wanting someone. My church keeps telling me it is bes if I stay single, but I really want a husband to grow old with. I purposely don't put a ring on that hand so that people know I am single in the hopes it will make a difference in being approached, but I do have this to say. If your 18 to 32 and in fair shape a ring on the left finger is not a detourant. I think it only makes a difference with the older crowd who were not brought up with things such as purity rings. Just MHO. The older crowd may have experiences where people were not quite so honest about their status and have some stronger opinions in this subject. I think we have done this topic in a thread before.
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does your's look like? - 4/10/2009 12:06:51 AM
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John_O
Posts: 6217
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_
quote:
ORIGINAL: skreyola
Not married, no ring. Anther topic for another time.
I don't believe a woman should wear a ring on her marriage finger unless she wants men to think she's married and not hit on her. That's the signal it sends to me and other guys who are timid about approaching women they don't know. We look for the rings.
So...the fact that the majority of the women on here said they wouldn't even consider dating a man who just approached them in the supermarket still means nothing?
I find this interesting...most of the women are saying, "it doesn't matter if I have a ring on or not because I don't date anyone I'm not friends with and he would already know if I'm single..." whereas the men are saying, "I wouldn't approach a woman with a ring on because I assume she's already married or engaged."
Hmmm...anyone see a problem with the scenario? 
Why would the man take the time to become your frined unless he knows you're available?
(Hang with me a moment)
If a man is looking for a wife, a female friend (who he would be seen in public with) is an obstacle to that search. Any time spent with her is time that he could be looking for someone to spend his life with. Any time he is seen with her inpublic he is sending the message that he is taken to any honorable woman. The women he'd likely attract would be the ones who don't honor marriage. (ind of like a woman wearing a ring when she's not married. (Good back to topic line hey?)
So while you may be an incredibly wonderful woman, you add nothing to his life and may even be blocking him from receiving what he really wants from life.
Secondly, an honorable single man would not strike up a close friendship with a married women (Far too many affairs start that way).
So a man who is looking for a wife won't take time to get to know you if you are apparently already married. !st you're unavailable as a spouse and second you're unavailable as a friend.
How would he ever get to know you enough to know that the ring is a false witness?
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does your's look like? - 4/10/2009 12:08:40 AM
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John_O
Posts: 6217
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rebakahblam
quote:
"it doesn't matter if I have a ring on or not because I don't date anyone I'm not friends with and he would already know if I'm single..."
The problem: a man won't try to get to be a woman's friend if he's actively pursuing a wife. It doesn't make sense - why get emotionally involved or even place yourself in a position to start that if the woman appears to be married.
A man will be dissuaded from approaching her even for friendship so the woman is going to have a more difficult chance of a man becoming her friend and then looking for more.
Basically, a woman says I only date a man who is my friend. A man thinks - she's got a ring on her finger not friendship or spouse material. So the man never gets to know her as a friend and so the woman doesn't get to date/wind up with him.
I've got to learn to read the whole thread before I reply. I could have saved myself a lot of typing.
Exactly correct reba!
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does your's look like? - 4/10/2009 12:11:33 AM
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John_O
Posts: 6217
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
I want a guy to be in love with me, my heart, my soul, I want him to love me because of the light of Jesus Christ that shines through me...I don't want him to fall in love with me because I am "hot" in his eyes, I want him to fall in love with the person that God created me to be, yes, I want him to think I am beautiful, but that's not why I want him to fall in love with me.
You're safe JC. No man falls in love with a woman because she looks good. But he will normally NOT fall in love with a woman who does not look good to him.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does your's look like? - 4/10/2009 1:30:34 AM
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willfs
Posts: 690
Status: offline
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I got in on this late and I thought it would be easier to post my response to some general ideas instead of quoting/replying to specific posts.
"I don't want a guy who sees me as a "potential. I don't want a guy who wants to meet me because he likes what he sees." Maybe I am misunderstanding some of the posts but it seems some are saying that it is wrong for a guy to want to meet/find out more about a woman simply because he finds her attractive. I don't blame anyone for hating being thought of as a mark or piece of flesh. But I don't think there is anything wrong with me seeing someone I am attracted to and wanting to meet her. I am looking for someone who is attractive to me physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally...etc. If I see someone who peaks my interest in any way then I will want to find out if there are more things about her that I could really like. A certain poster on this board really caught my attention. I don't know how she looks but I did find her attractive for her spirituality. It's not wrong for me to be interested just because she meets ONE of the things I am looking for. If a guy meets a woman he find attractive in one aspect then it is understandable and even somewhat wise to find out more about her to see if she is the type of person who lights a spark in other areas as well. I am sorry about the many shallow men who have inappropriately tried to approach several of the woman on the board. But I think there a lot of men who, like me, when they see a woman who sparks their interest they are not just thinking of her as the next conquest or a piece of flesh. They really want to find someone whose spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental beauty will be something they can cherish for the rest of their life.
"I don't care about the shallow judgments of others. I will wear a ring on my finger if I want." You do have the freedom to wear whatever you want. But I want to defend the idea behind the custom of the ring finger specifically symbolizing someone being taken. I think our culture has this custom for good reason. As I argued above, it is not bad to SEE someone you find interesting and want to go after them. If a woman is married she doesn't want to deal with this experience which is one reason for wearing a ring on her finger. Those who make the vow to give their lives to each other consider it a special sign to the world of their love that they wear a ring on their left ring finger. Us guys are mostly the pursuers. It really helps to know if a particular woman is married or not. If I saw or met a woman and I became interested in her, for whatever reason, it is so much easier to have the ring telling me she is taken than have to ask her. I just doesn't feel right to go up introduce myself to a married woman or to have certain conversations with a married woman. However, if I knew she wasn't married I wouldn't feel bad about doing those things. It is true that many marriages (if not most marriages) happen between two people who met each other without the guy having to do the whole "approach". But many great marriages exist because the guy approached a woman he found attractive. The whole ring custom is not a vital custom but I don't know if I understand the reasons for breaking it. Is there a better way to keep those creepy guys away (although, as I say below, I actually understand this reasoning more than any other for wearing a ring on the left ring finger)? Is wearing your purity ring on that finger the best way to show you are wanting to remain pure? We should show a wise degree of caution when going against appearances set by the customs of a society. 1 Corinthians 11 talks of woman wearing head coverings. My minister says that is because, in the culture of that city, only prostitutes/loose woman didn't cover their head - which is still true of much of the middle east. It would be understandable that Paul would tell woman to go along with that culture's custom in this matter.
If enough woman buck the marriage ring custom then it will become more and more difficult for men to tell who is married and who is not taken. Many more married woman would find themselves being approached because a guy won't know if a ring on that finger means taken or not. In fact, if you are someone who is saying that you wear a ring on that finger to keep guys away you are admitting how clear that message is to our culture.
"I wear it to keep guys away." I have heard some nightmare scenerios on this forum. I don't know how in the heck I would deal with having to put up with some of the things guys do to meet a woman. But aren't you being deceptive to the world in order to keep guys away. They are staying away because you are telling them you are married/engaged when you are not. I don't know. I guess if things are that bad (cheesy, creepy guys trying to talk to you) I can see a little deception maybe being justified. But that is what it is: deception.
"If God wants me to meet a guy then he will be able to work around my ring on my finger" You are probably right. If God can work in my life despite the many obstacles I put up then he can definitly get around a little ring on the finger. But it is an obstacle. You are free to wear a ring on any finger you want to and I don't think this "obstacle" is the biggest obstacle one can put up when finding a mate. My foolish tendencies are probably a bigger obstacle than any ring on some girl's finger. I believe that we should pray for something, trust Him with it and then do what we can to work toward it, which partially means removing as many obstacles as you can.
"If a guy thinks that way then I don't want him anyway" It seems like there are a lot of subtle personal attacks on here. Maybe John_O is not as sensitive a guy as I am but I would hate to share something like he did and then get a response that said "I believe God will bring me a better/less judgmental man than you." I don't see John,s reasoning as being flawed. He seems like a great guy for any gal.
_____________________________
If you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you're not really approaching Him at all. - C.S. Lewis
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does yours look like? - 4/10/2009 2:43:15 AM
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skreyola
Posts: 449
Joined: 1/28/2008
From: 31/M/325[0-9][0-9]
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: rebakahblam
quote:
"it doesn't matter if I have a ring on or not because I don't date anyone I'm not friends with and he would already know if I'm single..."
The problem: a man won't try to get to be a woman's friend if he's actively pursuing a wife. It doesn't make sense - why get emotionally involved or even place yourself in a position to start that if the woman appears to be married.
A man will be dissuaded from approaching her even for friendship so the woman is going to have a more difficult chance of a man becoming her friend and then looking for more.
Basically, a woman says I only date a man who is my friend. A man thinks - she's got a ring on her finger not friendship or spouse material. So the man never gets to know her as a friend and so the woman doesn't get to date/wind up with him.
I've got to learn to read the whole thread before I reply. I could have saved myself a lot of typing.
Exactly correct reba!
I know the feeling... but I wanted to say:
Rebakahblam is right. It's not that we're on the make. A man who is looking for a wife is very often not interested in becoming friends with a woman who is married. I know some people think a man-woman friendship is little different from a man-man or woman-woman friendship, but I say it's much more complex and has the potential to pull them into sin more easily if one is married... and having an available man view you as someone's current spouse when you are not limits your chances by removing a man from the pool. I know some of you don't care about that, but I thought it should be pointed out, and I'm glad rebakahblam did.
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
...
Any time he is seen with her inpublic he is sending the message that he is taken to any honorable woman. The women he'd likely attract would be the ones who don't honor marriage.
...
Secondly, an honorable single man would not strike up a close friendship with a married women (Far too many affairs start that way).
...
So a man who is looking for a wife won't take time to get to know you if you are apparently already married.
...
How would he ever get to know you enough to know that the ring is a false witness?
These salient bits are worth repeating.
_____________________________
-- Skreyola, who has left the building.
To learn from your experiences is good, but to learn from the experiences of others is better.
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does yours look like? - 4/10/2009 4:30:59 AM
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ebony101
Posts: 975
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: the big blue marble
Status: offline
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I wear rings as jewellery. Right now they are all on my right hand. But I switch them around occassionally. I just try to keep the ring finger bare. But who knows ... maybe if I found a ring that fits it ???
_____________________________
'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does yours look like? - 4/10/2009 10:23:26 AM
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willfs
Posts: 690
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: irbKuku
Gossip and assumptions do not a truth make. And the person being gossiped about is the one in the wrong... interesting.
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
This supposition does not take into consideration all the married men and women who do not wear rings on "that" finger....
.......This is only a problem if people view people as being part of a pool. For those who don't, it's not a problem at all.[/font]
I just don't see it as a "shallow judgment" or "gossip" or "unwise assumptions." Not every surface judgment is wrong to make. Placing people in pools or groups is not always wrong either. Some assumptions are not wrong, they are just judgments we have to make based on what we know of our world even if we get them wrong at times.
Many people wear a cross because they are asking people to make a surface judgment (I am not saying you are doing so for the following reason). They are trying to tell the world that they love Jesus. They could be obvious and wear a t shirt that says "I am a Christian." However, they like the idea of a cross as a symbol/outward sign/reference wherby people assume/infer that you are a Christian. There is nothing wrong with that.
If I see a child at school running into a bathroom with her hand cupped over her mouth I assume she is about to throw up so I act accordingly and wait outside the door to make sure she is okay. There is the possibility she has done so to decieve me so she could leave class for awhile, and my waiting on her is a waste of time. For her benefit, I had to make an assumption to be safe.
If I walk down a secluded alleyway at night and see a young man coming toward me I will alert my senses and may even try to avert going past him. There is a good chance I am wrong in my surface judgment and there isn't any danger but I dont' see my caution as wrong.
Several children at work are placed in pools or groups because there IQ is so low they need unique help, a specific learning plan, and a specific schedule throughout the day. We place them in this group out of respect for their needs.
I have been placed in and outside of certain pools in my church. I am not apart of the pool that can attend the Beth Moore bible studies because I am a man. I can attend the youth meetings because I have worked with the youth before. I am apart of the pool that recieves emails about the Sunday schedule because I am on the production team. I am not apart of the pool that gets invited to nursery meetings because I dont' work in the nursery.
To place a woman in a pool of taken or untaken because of what is on her left finger is not me being gossipy or shallow in my judgments. I don't place them in pools or groups because I respect them anymore or less. I place them in a pool or group to avoid an awkward situation. I have been told all my life by trustworthy sources that a ring on the left finger means taken and when it is off it means untaken. My experience has backed this up to an overwhelming degree. I only know one married woman (of the thousands others I know) who doesn't wear a wedding band (because of her work conditions). I only recently have met three ladies who are unmarried and wear a ring on that finger. Before this past year I only knew of one woman who did that.
I really feel like my motives and judgment are being given a negative twist. I must say that this thread has probably changed my view and I will be more cautious in the future when making that judgment. Yes, in the back of my mind I have known that there is the chance that the a ring on or off that finger isn't saying what i think it says but my experience told me I had a really really good chance it was saying what I thought it was saying.
I am not saying it is wrong for someone to buck the whole ring system (especially if they have to put up with men approaching them too much) but I don't always understand some of the other reasons that many do not want to abide by the ring custom. I don't think those who abide by the ring custom are being shallow. The whole ring custom sounds like a good way to let the world know who is married and who is not and I wish there was some way we could keep it going but if not, oh well. If there are enough woman who want to get rid of that they need to make some announcment or something and not ASSUME us guys all of a sudden know that a ring on or off the ring finger can mean all kinds of things.
< Message edited by willfs -- 4/10/2009 10:34:21 AM >
_____________________________
If you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you're not really approaching Him at all. - C.S. Lewis
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does yours look like? - 4/10/2009 10:43:58 AM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 7624
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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Do you know where I think a lot of my thinking comes from?
Where I live I'm surrounded by 4 military bases. I work for the government and most of my shopping and 'extra cirricular' activites are done around men in this area. Hardly any man I know wears his wedding ring. In fact the other day I saw my girlfriend talking to a guy and I thought that he was cute and automatically my eyes went to his left hand. No ring. Great! So as we were chatting back and forth I casually brought up the gentleman she was talking to and she went into this long tirade about how great he was, and what a wonderful father and husband he is and how she and his wife are best friends...blah blah blah.
So I get to the point to where I don't assume a man is single just because he isn't wearing a ring, so I expect people to not assume I'm taken just because I am wearing one.
*shrug*
I don't know and quite frankly I don't care...LOL when I feel like God is pointing me in the direction of a man (and I already feel like this) then I'll only worry about how to attract him...not all the strangers on the street.
_____________________________
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does yours look like? - 4/10/2009 10:57:55 AM
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EclecticJoy
Posts: 14004
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
Status: offline
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An announcement? What are we supposed to do? Take out an ad in the newspaper? When meeting someone new say "Hi, I'm Sharon-Marie and I'd like you to know that the ring on my finger is not a wedding band?" Other than being impractical and very weird, I don't owe every person I meet any kind of an explanation about any part of my life. In fact, I don't owe the very vast majority of people I meet any kind of an explanation about any part of my life.
Besides, here in this thread . . . Here in this thread, we are, in a sense, making an announcement about how we view rings worn on the ring finger. We're having a discussion and we're stating our views.
quote:
If there are enough woman who want to get rid of that they need to make some announcment or something and not ASSUME us guys all of a sudden know that a ring on or off the ring finger can mean all kinds of things. I'm not assuming anything about what guys think when I wear my ring . . . as I have stated before (more than once), it doesn't matter at all to me what a guy thinks about my wearing a ring on "that" finger. To be more blunt, I couldn't care less what a stranger thinks about any aspect of my life - except that they see Christ in me (and where I wear my rings is NOT going to be an indication of that).
Going back to my late husband, I was wearing my amethyst ring on "that" finger the day we met. I'm sure he didn't take notice one way or another, because frankly, he was more interested in getting back to his conversation with his friend than meeting a new person at that moment. However, we pretty much saw each other 3-4 times a week for the next 5 months; not intentionally; it's just the way it worked out. I don't remember the specific conversations during those 5 months we had regarding either one of our marital statuses; but we must have said something, for 5 months after we met, we went on our first date.
My wearing a ring had nothing to do with anything . . . and as I've mentioned before, I wore that ring not only before he and I met, but on the day we met, every day after that until 5 months later when we started dating and every day after that until we got married.
quote:
I really feel like my motives and judgment are being given a negative twist. Why? I've yet to see anyone say anything against you personally and specifically in these threads.
As I've told you over in your "She Says" thread, I do not date strangers; and as I've mentioned in another thread (and possibly here), not only do I not date strangers but I don't do casual dating. Neither do I consider human beings to be part of some dating / hookup pool. I simply do not operate under the "pool" mentality.
Those are all my preferences in how I choose to live my life.
Just the way some men are very determined to date a thin woman; it's their preference. I don't have to agree with them, but neither do I have to take what they said as a personal slam to me.
It would also help if you refrained from putting words in our mouths. "Shallow judgment" was not part of anything you quoted in your post above.
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I'm really Sharon-Marie. Really I am!
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does yours look like? - 4/10/2009 11:54:47 AM
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irbKuku
Posts: 690
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: Somewhere out there
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
I do not date strangers; not only do I not date strangers but I don't do casual dating. Neither do I consider human beings to be part of some dating / hookup pool. I simply do not operate under the "pool" mentality.
This is the big divide in this thread I think. Some people look at every encounter as "potential", some people don't.
I learned a REALLY REALLY hard lesson about dating someone you don't know well enough (I posted about him here for a while- lead to a really hard broken engagement later) and it's simply not something I will repeat. That doesn't mean that I catagorically refuse to date anyone (if I meet a guy at the grocery store, and he's "the one", God will no doubt work it out so we have other meetings and get to know one another, but I'm sure as shooting not giving him my number at that point!), but before I'd ever consider a relationship he'd know me well enough to already know my status-based on FACT, not ASSUMPTION- and hey maybe even the history of my jewelry LOL...
I just want to add, I am sitting here doing a mental 'survey' of the guys in my church and I can't even begin to guess how many wear wedding rings (there are 3 guys in my church who are over 23 and single- small church). Honestly, I'm going to have to look at my pastor's hand Sunday to see if he wears his. It's not something I notice, because it's not something I look for. Maybe that makes me strange, or maybe I just use criteria with no 'margin for error' (asking someone doesn't allow for wrong assumptions- unless they flat out lie- IME) when meeting people.
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does yours look like? - 4/10/2009 12:12:00 PM
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Psalms274
Posts: 2447
Status: offline
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quote:
There are 5 men in my homechurch . . . they're all married; and I have absolutely no idea whether they wear wedding rings or not. I think a couple of them do, but I'm not really sure.
This reminded me of something. My dad never wore a wedding ban. I do not even think he had one, yet he was unequivocally, undeniably head over heals in love with my mom. She was the love of his life. I typically do not even look to see if someone has a ring on "that" finger, because there are so many married men who have never worn one. (Though I did look last night when approached because of this thread!!! oh dear I am being corrupted in my thinking!  )
quote:
quote:
ORIGINAL: irbKuku
quote:
That doesn't mean that I catagorically refuse to date anyone (if I meet a guy at the grocery store, and he's "the one", God will no doubt work it out so we have other meetings and get to know one another, but I'm sure as shooting not giving him my number at that point!), but before I'd ever consider a relationship he'd know me well enough to already know my status-based on FACT, not ASSUMPTION- and hey maybe even the history of my jewelry LOL...
Exactly, KuKu . . . the entire quote. The bolding was just for special emphasis.
I agree completely.
_____________________________
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does yours look like? - 4/10/2009 12:22:26 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 7624
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
quote:
ORIGINAL: irbKuku
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
I do not date strangers; not only do I not date strangers but I don't do casual dating. Neither do I consider human beings to be part of some dating / hookup pool. I simply do not operate under the "pool" mentality.
This is the big divide in this thread I think. Some people look at every encounter as "potential", some people don't. This is a big divide in several Singles threads.
quote:
ORIGINAL: irbKuku
That doesn't mean that I catagorically refuse to date anyone (if I meet a guy at the grocery store, and he's "the one", God will no doubt work it out so we have other meetings and get to know one another, but I'm sure as shooting not giving him my number at that point!), but before I'd ever consider a relationship he'd know me well enough to already know my status-based on FACT, not ASSUMPTION- and hey maybe even the history of my jewelry LOL...
Exactly, KuKu . . . the entire quote. The bolding was just for special emphasis.
I agree with both statements.
*sigh*
I'm going to start prefacing my posts with, "What Sharon-Marie said."
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My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does your's look like? - 4/10/2009 1:59:08 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 1727
Joined: 3/30/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
Liberty is not license.
John, I'm only replying to the part of your post quoted above.
The two plus chapters of Romans that I quoted in post 56 tell us that liberty isn't license. You also know that I agree with that. I'm not sure why you would take what I wrote--which didn't say anything about abusing our freedom--and go as far as you did with your statement.
Anyway, I wanted to make sure that people reading this thread don't assume, based on your post, that I support a willingly sinful lifestyle.
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But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. (2 Cor 2:14)
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does yours look like? - 4/10/2009 2:14:21 PM
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willfs
Posts: 690
Status: offline
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I have been known to take things the wrong way in another thread so I may have mistaken some of what what said.
I do not have long. I may not get back her because I am leaving on a weekend trip. I am sorry that I don't have time to site specific posts.
So you don't think it's wrong for a guy to see a girl and then want to meet her simply because he thinks she is pretty? Do you think it's okay that, because of my culture and experience, I consider woman with a ring to mean taken and those without to mean not taken?
You said something about me taking something personal on the other thread we are chatting through. I can also do that as well - take things to personally. I guess I just didn't like it that many seemed to be saying that they would never give a guy like me a chance because I am shallow or I judge people the wrong way.
I really think it boils down to culture. In my culture, upbrininging, and experience a ring on that finger has always been an important way to tell the world you are married. From the posts, I gather that your experience is not the same. Niether is wrong it is a cultural thing.
However, John brought up his experience and how he thought it was a "big city thing". He was told that he was being too black and white and legalistic when I think his view was very understandable seeing his experiences/culture.
That is why I said something about an announcment. I thought you, as well as several others, were saying that we were making wrong jugdgments (you are right, I shouldnt have quoted "shallow judgments"). You were listing yourselves as examples of woman who buck the ring finger trend. I was thinking when you got onto John that you were saying us guys should already know that there are many woman who don't place importance on saving that finger for when they are taken; however, our experience has told us otherwise. From my point of few it seemed like someone had changed the rules and didn't tell me. However, I really think we were coming from different experiences/cultures. No you don't need to make an announcment.
As for the "pool" mentality and the idea that some people view every encounter as a posibility. No one does that. Some people think of MORE encounters as potentials, especially us guys because I think we are designed to be more of the pursuers. When I meet or see someone I don't automatically put them in some pool. Niether do you. When I meet someone or see someone I am interested in then I try to find if they are available or not. You do the same thing. Where we probably differ is I happen to see and meet more people I am interested in. You don't seem to go after that. When you said that you don't have a pool mentality you seemed to be saying I do and that I like to categorize everyone. I only really categorize those I am interested in to avoid awkward situations.
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If you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you're not really approaching Him at all. - C.S. Lewis
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RE: Left ring finger ... what does your's look like? - 4/10/2009 2:26:26 PM
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makarizo
Posts: 2221
Joined: 4/13/2005
Status: offline
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a ring on a designated finger means absolutely nothing to me.
well.....
sometimes it means an appearance of a vulgar display of wealth, with or without one it doesn't mean (to me) that one is married or unmarried.
i have a very nice wedding ring that was used as collateral on a pretty hefty loan that was never paid back. I got the ring appraised, and i did get the better end of that deal.
I wonder if he stole it.
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