Through It All

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SavedByGraceMD -> Through It All (6/23/2009 11:23:18 PM)
“Through It All” "Life has had it’s way with this simple man, I looked for a way, a path to walk the journey ahead, But I lost my direction, only to wander about, Without purpose, not knowing where to go, I continued to trudge along, To be surrounded by so much agony, so much pain, was not the plan, At the bottom of the deepest valley, I lifted up my head, If only to be at the top of the mountain, to gain a better view. As I walked along through the valley, fear all around me, So much noise, so many distractions, how will I ever find the way to go, Through the mist and the fog, a light shines bright, yet so far, Through the roar of the noise, I hear a still small voice, yet it seems so distant, I try to follow, only to stumble and fall, unable to get up, unable to see, Eyes seem blinded, my mind so cluttered, and my ears unable to separate the sounds, If only to be at the top of the mountain, to gain a better view. I continue on, unsure of myself, unsure of it all, I can’t see how, The road is so hard, the path so uneven, my footing slips and again I fall, Face down in the mud, hands splayed out to my sides, I can’t go on, Yet through it all, that still small voice, becomes a great mighty shout, “Get up my child, here take my hand, lean on me, I will carry you” Through the pain, through the agony, a hand reaches down, I grab hold and feel the scar, pulled to my knees, then to my feet, With just one touch, the noise dies down, the clutter gone from my mind, With just one word the fog is lifted, I can now see so clearly the one who stands before me, He wraps His arms around me, pulls me so close I can feel His heart beat. I look into His face, He has tears streaking down His cheeks, and He says “I called and called for you, but you didn’t hear, You ran away from me, but I came running after, I kept my distance until I couldn’t bear to watch you in pain any longer, I walked with you every step of the way, even though you didn’t notice, You tried to do it alone, now lean on me, and we will go together, Here take my hand, and don’t worry, I will never let go”. So I grabbed hold of the pierced and scarred hand that He offered me, I looked at this man, and something stirred inside me, My heart began to beat faster as I realized who He was, The tears began to flow as I realized all He has done for me, I pulled my hand away, and bowed low before Him, Words became elusive, all I could muster, all I could utter, “My Savior, and my God, why?” He knelt low in front of me, lifted up my tear streaked face, Looked me in the eye, and said “Because I love you my child, I love you with a never ending love, Before I formed you in the womb, before you took your first breath, I loved you, and longed for this day, I knew you would choose the hard way, so I waited atop that mountain, Knowing that you would pass through this valley, My heart ached as I watched you stumble along, Hoping you would glance up and see me standing there waving to you, Through the fog, through your pain, you were unable to see, So I descended from the mountain, to come and find you” I remembered at that moment all that I had done, all the mistakes, I could see all the sins I had committed, all the pain I must have caused, Yet I also remembered the light on top of the mountain, the one I tried to reach, I remembered the still small voice that I could barely make out, I realized I was never alone, I realized He was always there for me, Amazed, I stood in awe at the one who stood before me, and I said “But Lord, you were there when I sinned against you, You were there when I made all the wrong choices, I must have hurt you, I must have disappointed you, How come you never left me, how come you waited all this time How can you still love me with all that I have done?” Again, He puts one hand on my head, the other covers His heart, Tears streak down His cheeks, as well as mine, and He says, “Through it all, every up, every down, I loved you, Through it all, every bad choice, every good choice, I loved you, Through it all, my love has never changed, you have always been mine, Through it all, through it all, I have never stopped loving you.” “Lord” I said, “please forgive me, I am so unworthy, I am sorry if I caused you any pain, I am sorry for not heeding your call, I am sorry for all the things I have done, I am so sorry you took my punishment, I am so sorry you had to die in my place.” “I forgive you, I have forgiven you, your sins I see no more, Please do not live in the past, yesterday is gone, today has come, I have great plans for you, great things in store, You are with me now, and that is all that matters to me, Just stay by my side, I will keep you safe, It won’t always be easy, but I will always be there for you, Just call my name, and I will be there, Nothing can separate you from my love, nothing at all, Through it all I have loved you, and through it all I will be with you.” Thank you Lord, Thank you. And I worshiped and praised this man I know, The Savior, the Lamb, the one who won’t let go, His name, above all names, the Christ Jesus, God’s only Son." SavedByGraceMD- Mike

slushie -> RE: Through It All (6/23/2009 11:39:29 PM)
Hey, that was beautiful. Write on for God's glory.

Elena1030 -> RE: Through It All (6/24/2009 3:29:31 PM)
Just needs copyediting. Here's the copyedited version: “Through It All” Life has had its way with this simple man. I looked for a way, a path to walk the journey ahead, But I lost my direction, only to wander about. Without purpose, not knowing where to go, I continued to trudge along. To be surrounded by so much agony, so much pain, was not the plan. At the bottom of the deepest valley, I lifted up my head, If only to be at the top of the mountain, to gain a better view. As I walked along through the valley, fear all around me, So much noise, so many distractions. How will I ever find the way to go? Through the mist and the fog, a light shines bright, yet so far. Through the roar of the noise, I hear a still small voice, yet it seems so distant. I try to follow, only to stumble and fall, unable to get up, unable to see. Eyes seem blinded, my mind so cluttered, and my ears unable to separate the sounds, If only to be at the top of the mountain, to gain a better view. I continue on, unsure of myself, unsure of it all. I can’t see how. The road is so hard, the path so uneven; my footing slips, and again I fall Facedown in the mud, hands splayed out to my sides. I can’t go on, Yet through it all, that still small voice becomes a great mighty shout: “Get up, My child! Here, take My hand. Lean on Me; I will carry you.” Through the pain, through the agony, a hand reaches down; I grab hold and feel the scar. I'm pulled to my knees, then to my feet. With just one touch, the noise dies down; the clutter, gone from my mind., With just one word the fog is lifted; I can now see so clearly the One who stands before me. He wraps His arms around me, pulls me so close that I can feel His heart beat. I look into His face. He has tears streaking down His cheeks, and He says, “I called and called for you, but you didn’t hear. You ran away from Me, but I came running after. I kept My distance until I couldn’t bear to watch you in pain any longer. I walked with you every step of the way, even though you didn’t notice. You tried to do it alone; now lean on me, and we will go together. Here, take My hand. And don’t worry---I will never let go.” So I grabbed hold of the pierced and scarred hand that He offered me. I looked at this man, and something stirred inside me. My heart began to beat faster as I realized who He was. The tears began to flow as I realized all He has done for me. I pulled my hand away and bowed low before Him. Words became elusive; all I could muster, all I could utter was “My Savior, and my God, why?” He knelt low in front of me, lifted up my tear-streaked face, Looked me in the eye, and said, “Because I love you, My child. I love you with a never-ending love. Before I formed you in the womb, before you took your first breath, I loved you and longed for this day. I knew you would choose the hard way, so I waited atop that mountain, Knowing that you would pass through this valley. My heart ached as I watched you stumble along. I kept hoping you would glance up and see Me standing there waving to you. Through the fog, through your pain, you were unable to see, So I descended from the mountain to come and find you.” I remembered at that moment all that I had done, all the mistakes. I could see all the sins I had committed, all the pain I must have caused, Yet I also remembered the light on top of the mountain, the one I had tried to reach. I remembered the still small voice that I could barely make out. I realized that I was never alone, that He was always there for me, Amazed, I stood in awe at the One who stood before me, and I said, “But Lord, You were there when I sinned against You. You were there when I made all the wrong choices. I must have hurt You; I must have disappointed You. How come You never left me? How come You waited all this time? How can You still love me with all that I have done?” Again, He put one hand on my head; the other covered His heart, Tears streaked down His cheeks, as well as mine, and He said, “Through it all, every up, every down, I loved you. Through it all, every bad choice, every good choice, I loved you. Through it all, My love has never changed; you have always been Mine, Through it all, through it all, I have never stopped loving you.” “Lord,” I said, “please forgive me---I am so unworthy. I am sorry if I caused You any pain. I am sorry for not heeding Your call. I am sorry for all the things I have done. I am so sorry You took my punishment. I am so sorry You had to die in my place.” “I forgive you. I have forgiven you. Your sins I see no more. Please do not live in the past---yesterday is gone. Today has come. I have great plans for you, great things in store. You are with Me now, and that is all that matters to Me. Just stay by My side; I will keep you safe. It won’t always be easy, but I will always be there for you. Just call My name, and I will be there. Nothing can separate you from My love, nothing at all. Through it all, I have loved you, and through it all, I will be with you.” "Thank You, Lord. Thank you." And I worshiped and praised this man I now know--- The Savior, the Lamb, the One who won’t let go. His name, above all names, the Christ, Jesus, God’s only Son.

SavedByGraceMD -> RE: Through It All (6/24/2009 4:10:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elena1030 Just needs copyediting. Here's the copyedited version: Well thank you Elena

Elena1030 -> RE: Through It All (6/24/2009 5:26:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD quote: ORIGINAL: Elena1030 Just needs copyediting. Here's the copyedited version: Well, thank you, Elena. You're welcome, Mr. MD. [:)] Embrace the period, by the way; it's your friend. [;)]

SavedByGraceMD -> RE: Through It All (6/24/2009 5:37:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elena1030 quote: ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD quote: ORIGINAL: Elena1030 Just needs copyediting. Here's the copyedited version: Well, thank you, Elena. You're welcome, Mr. MD. [:)] Embrace the period, by the way; it's your friend. [;)] Well, who made you my editor? Just jokin.[:D] I guess that is a bad habit, I tend to write like one long sentence. Always thought that was more poetic. So thanks for the advice. I will try next time, but no promises. I may need your services again.[;)]

Elena1030 -> RE: Through It All (6/24/2009 5:52:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD Well, who made you my editor? Just jokin. [;)] [:)] I know. I do this for a living. Feel privileged that I gave you a freebie. [;)] quote: ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD I guess that is a bad habit -- I tend to write like one long sentence. Always thought that was more poetic. So thanks for the advice. I will try next time, but no promises. I may need your services again.[;)] It's a bad habit, but you're not gonna get chucked off of the 'Net for committing those writing "sins." There's no Grammar Patrol online. (Though sometimes I think there ought to be!!) Yes, you're right: it's true that poetry can work around the usual punctuation rules, but do it as part of the art. Remember that punctuation functions as street signs do -- signals when to pause, go slow, stop. It also shows which ideas and concepts connect together. Changing the placement of a comma or a period can significantly alter the meaning you end up conveying. I think your style tends to be stream of consciousness. That's fine if that's the effect you want to achieve. And it's certainly fine for a first draft. But do remember that a comma neither equals nor replaces a comma. [:)] I like the relationship you're depicting. Definitely this is a good piece for evangelism... and to show your devotion to Christ. A bit "telling" rather than "showing," which is against the cardinal rule that all composition teachers will thwack ya with: "Show; don't tell." But you've got a handle on words, I think. You have potential!! Keep at it! [:D]

SavedByGraceMD -> RE: Through It All (6/24/2009 6:29:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elena1030 quote: ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD Well, who made you my editor? Just jokin. [;)] [:)] I know. I do this for a living. Feel privileged that I gave you a freebie. [;)] quote: ORIGINAL: SavedByGraceMD I guess that is a bad habit -- I tend to write like one long sentence. Always thought that was more poetic. So thanks for the advice. I will try next time, but no promises. I may need your services again.[;)] It's a bad habit, but you're not gonna get chucked off of the 'Net for committing those writing "sins." There's no Grammar Patrol online. (Though sometimes I think there ought to be!!) Yes, you're right: it's true that poetry can work around the usual punctuation rules, but do it as part of the art. Remember that punctuation functions as street signs do -- signals when to pause, go slow, stop. It also shows which ideas and concepts connect together. Changing the placement of a comma or a period can significantly alter the meaning you end up conveying. I think your style tends to be stream of consciousness. That's fine if that's the effect you want to achieve. And it's certainly fine for a first draft. But do remember that a comma neither equals nor replaces a comma. [:)] I like the relationship you're depicting. Definitely this is a good piece for evangelism... and to show your devotion to Christ. A bit "telling" rather than "showing," which is against the cardinal rule that all composition teachers will thwack ya with: "Show; don't tell." But you've got a handle on words, I think. You have potential!! Keep at it! [:D] Thank you. I don't quite know what you mean in regards to the telling, not showing rule, or vice versa, but thanks for your input. I appreciate it. I never had any writing instruction. I just write what I feel. It has been a long time since being in school, so as far as punctuation, grammar, and structure of sentences, I really have no clue. I could use all the help I could get. So thanks again.

slushie -> RE: Through It All (6/24/2009 10:55:10 PM)
I know what she means. Some writers fall into the habit of telling rather than showing. It's a common mistake. ... trying to think of some examples off the top of my head but can't recall any. Basically stories that tell rather than show tend to have a lot of "was" "were" "be" "thought" "felt" instead of more solid words. Maybe Elena can help??

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