RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made about singles?
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[Deleted] - 3/15/2007 9:52:15 AM
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 3/22/2007 10:14:40 PM
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A-Tech
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Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Illinois
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I think some married folk assume that singles should be overseas missionaries while they think the wedding ring on their left hand is a "get out of ministry free" card.
(Sometimes I wonder if that's a conspiracy by the married folk to make their churches consist of 100% families by sending all singles out of the country.)
_____________________________
"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."
--Corrie ten Boom
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 9/11/2007 12:08:13 PM
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RubberDukkie
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My favorite is that because I'm single, I must be wanting to find a man. That's not the case. I've found my share of bad boys (they're not even fit to be called men) and now I'm living for myself and getting to know God like I should have done in the first place.
My next favorite is when at holidays, the aunts all have to jump in and ask if I've found anyone special. Sure, I've found lots of "special" people but no one significant, if that's what they mean.
What really irritates me are OTHER single people who either think I need to find a guy, or think THEY need to find a guy. My cousin is one example. She's the last out of 4 kids who is not married yet and she "feels left out." I'd enjoy being single while you can! Think about it.... single for 25 years and married for 60. You do the math!
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 9/11/2007 2:04:11 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RubberDukkie
I'd enjoy being single while you can! Think about it.... single for 25 years and married for 60. You do the math!
For some of us that would be a waste of at least five years when we could have been married. To each his own I guess.
My favorite misconception, and I get it mostly from singles, is that if you are single you are free to travel.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 9/11/2007 6:41:47 PM
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Pauley464
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From: Washington, Indiana
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[My favorite assumption comes from all of those kind and well-meaning old ladies at church who ask, "When are you going to find a nice girl and settle down?" Like I'm not looking for a nice girl and spending all of my spare time partying.
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There is nothing so important that it can't be put off until tomorrow.
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 12/24/2007 4:50:30 PM
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A-Tech
Posts: 67
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From: Illinois
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I was thinking about all the garbage I had to go through over the past couple of years or so, and I think another reason people didn't want to set me up is that if they did and it succeeded, there wouldn't be any single person to look down on and make fun of anymore.
_____________________________
"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."
--Corrie ten Boom
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 12/24/2007 6:38:25 PM
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the_mom
Posts: 43
Joined: 11/9/2006
From: Seattle, WA
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Married people assume that a single person can't be invited over for dinner or to a party, because he or she is "odd," as in not partnered up. I find this to be more the case with married people from my church than with married people I know professionally. Married people also assume that a single person has nothing in common with married people and can't hold an ordinary conversation.
It also doesn't occur to married people to bothering including single people. Our church had a Valentine's Day thing to which everyone was invited, but the central activity was for married people to talk on video about how they met, and they were going to make a film to show at the next Valentine's thing as a new tradition. Then, the fellowship committee complained because none of the single adults attended.
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 12/25/2007 10:35:13 PM
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ladioffaith
Posts: 2998
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From: NE Ohio (L.A. . . Lower Akron)
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LOL!!!
A former church friend of mine put together a valentine's dinner for singles, just to make them feel special and loved. I have never forgotten it.
Here is my pet peeve ... correct me if I'm petty ...
THAT BECAUSE I'M SINGLE, I AM NOT A "FAMILY."
OK, every year, my parents buy gifts for ALL the grandchildren, and give ALL the adults a card with money in it. Not a lot (apparently the amount varies according to how many adults it's given to) but it's the thought that counts.
This year, the FAMILIES got a small glass bowl set with their card.
Now, I am blessed. My mother left me a lot of bowls, and I have acquired others over the years. I do not need a bowl set and do not know where I would put one if I'd been given one.
But it still irks me that because I do not have a husband or children, the assumption is that I do not have a kitchen, do not cook and do not need the same things FAMILIES do!
I am the ONLY one of the seven offspring of my father and stepmother who does not have kids or a spouse/significant other. I do not have children to buy for. I spend at least as much, if not more, on gifts for my parents as the others do.
I know Christmas is not about what we get from others but what we give, to others and to him, but it's just one of those little holiday "digs" that bugs me.
_____________________________
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with
his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 12/25/2007 10:44:40 PM
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Lite4God
Posts: 157
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BtWthAPrice
Ok, I'm a little different here. I really do want to be ready for marriage and meet the right man and have a happy marriage (finally!) Truly I do. And I do feel like PART of my purpose in life is unfulfilled until this happens.
THAT being said and known, people's ASSUMPTION about me is that I have low self esteem and am insecure or lack confidence or am flawed in some way becasue I want to get married.  None of this is true and it is my pet peeve.
I was also accused of this. Someone told me, "If you have a desire, then God must have someone out there for you. Otherwise, you would not have that desire to marry and raise a family."
My pet peeve is that my mom thinks every date is a husband. She'll ask me if we talked about the future after the first date.
"No, mom. We just met. I don't even know if I like him yet."
I've heard some pretty rude comments about unmarried woman out in the secular world. The biggest problem with church is that it is usually full of married people. They are all familiar with what is said about unmarried women in their 30s. It makes me mad and friendships with married women are tough. They give all these sidelong glances and make you feel strange. I finally realized they must be scared that I want their husband. It's the only thing that makes sense. So, I stopped trying to be friends with those type of people and just seek out other Christian singles for fellowship.
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 12/26/2007 6:37:31 AM
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mutinywxgirl
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From: west coast of FL
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Single in my 30's in church was tough. Being in my 40's (and rapidly approaching 50) it seems to be much better.
The worst thing for me to hear is something along the lines of "oh you poor thing, you never had children". ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know, if God HAD wanted me to have children, HE would have provided me a husband so that I could have had those children.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 12/27/2007 1:22:34 PM
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trainfan
Posts: 2341
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From: neither here nor there
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quote:
Married people also assume that a single person has nothing in common with married people and can't hold an ordinary conversation.
DITTO! Or they talk down to you like you're a child.
Churches sadly are the WORST for this type of thing.
< Message edited by trainfan -- 12/27/2007 1:32:34 PM >
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 12/27/2007 5:26:04 PM
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agapemami
Posts: 147
Joined: 1/24/2006
From: somewhere over the rainbow
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That you'd be desperate enough to desire/pin away for someone who is either unavailable or married.
and if you decide to change up your look, you must be on the hunt.
< Message edited by redcarpet -- 12/27/2007 5:32:07 PM >
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 12/27/2007 5:36:38 PM
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A-Tech
Posts: 67
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Illinois
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quote:
ORIGINAL: trainfan
quote:
Married people also assume that a single person has nothing in common with married people and can't hold an ordinary conversation.
DITTO! Or they talk down to you like you're a child.
Churches sadly are the WORST for this type of thing.
QUOTED FOR TRUTH!!!!!
_____________________________
"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."
--Corrie ten Boom
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 12/27/2007 5:39:14 PM
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agapemami
Posts: 147
Joined: 1/24/2006
From: somewhere over the rainbow
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Double ditto! Amen.
quote:
ORIGINAL: A-Tech
quote:
ORIGINAL: trainfan
quote:
Married people also assume that a single person has nothing in common with married people and can't hold an ordinary conversation.
DITTO! Or they talk down to you like you're a child.
Churches sadly are the WORST for this type of thing.
QUOTED FOR TRUTH!!!!!
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 12/27/2007 5:40:35 PM
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A-Tech
Posts: 67
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Illinois
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quote:
That you'd be desperate enough to desire/pin away for someone who is either unavailable or married.
A lot of men in my previous church thought I was after their wives and became very defensive of them around me. This was due to the fact that I was, for all intents and purposes, the only single person in the church. Earlier this year I got a new job at the same place where this lady from that church worked. When her husband found out about this, he told me in no uncertain terms that I had to stay away from her. We worked in different units and did different jobs so that wasn't an issue. I am not interested in married women, nor do I want to risk my job due to sexual harassment. I swear those people acted like they've never seen a single person before.
_____________________________
"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."
--Corrie ten Boom
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 12/27/2007 5:50:00 PM
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agapemami
Posts: 147
Joined: 1/24/2006
From: somewhere over the rainbow
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Wow, A-Tech. Guys get this too???? Interesting. Never thought about it.
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RE: Pet Peeves: What are the worst assumptions made ab... - 12/27/2007 10:13:30 PM
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Lite4God
Posts: 157
Joined: 12/9/2007
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Why does the church find singlehood to be a social disease? There is only one logical explanation: fear.
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