Mark0
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“Good afternoon America. I’m Pat Stence and it’s time to join us again for America’s favorite pastime. That’s right folks; it’s time for the mating game. This is the fun game show in which 3 eligible bachelorettes vie for the attention of our very desirable romantic Romeo.”
“Today’s lucky guy is going home with one of the gorgeous beauties behind the wall of separation. And here to introduce him is our own Emcee Don Juan.”
“Let’s hear about Mr. Wonderful, God’s gift to women. Bring him out Don.”
“You've got it Pat; this week’s crooner is no stranger to anyone. He’s a well known celebrity and one of, if not the most sought after suitor of this day or any other. He has many accomplishments. You may recognize Him as an author. His book is the best seller of all time and has been called “The Greatest Story Ever Told”. His biography is so famous it’s a Christmas and Easter classic every year. He’s also a philanthropist, His entire estate is open to whosoever will.”
“A man of many talents, including raising the dead, feeding multitudes, clothing the naked, putting the universe in order, just to name a few. Please help me bring in the Big guy with an enormous round of applause for Jesus Christ, Yeshua, The Prince of Peace, the one and only Savior of the world. Please folks, show your love.”
As the crowd rises in unison to give a standing ovation, a red circular shell in the shape of half a heart, emerges from behind the left stage curtain. As it rotates on its axis, the crowd gets their first view of its occupant, Jesus, the expectant bachelor, seated in the middle of the shell. As he arrives on center stage He smiles, rises and bows humbly to the studio audience.
“Welcome Jesus; are you ready to meet your lovely bride to be?”
“But of course Mr. Stence; she must be the most wonderful woman in all of creation to have commanded my attention as she has. Even the Song of Solomon doesn’t due her justice.”
“Well said, Lord. With that let’s bring out our bevy of beautiful bachelorettes.”
From the right side of the stage glides the other half of the heart shaped shell. As it reaches center stage, it slowly turns on its axis. It mates its counterpart, completing the heart shape, parted by a wall of separation, so that the bachelor may not see the ladies faces. The audience cheers as the ladies arrive at center stage.
“Alright folks, here they are. Three beautiful ladies all awaiting the hand of the most eligible suitor we could find. Now let’s introduce the girls.”
“Bachelorette number 1: Tell us your name please?”
“Hi Pat. I’m Polly Purelybred.”
“Hi back at ya there Polly, tell us a little bit about yourself. What brings you to the center stage tonight?”
“Well Pat, I’m just a simple farm girl from the heartland. I’ve been a really good girl. I was raised in church and my family pedigree goes back to the Mayflower.”
“Wow Polly. That’s quite a mouthful. I’ll bet you’re a real sweetheart. You sound like the girl next door.”
“That’s me Pat. Although I’m not a raving beauty like number 2 to my right, I try harder. I’ll win His approval no matter how hard I have to work at it. I don’t give up easy.”
“Well Jesus, what do you think? Do you want to ask any questions of Polly?”
“Yes, Pat. Hi Polly; you certainly sound like an upright woman. What would you say if I just swept you off your feet and you never had to work again? You know, it’s only my grace that brought you this far.”
“Oh no Mr. Jesus, Sir; I’ve had to work for everything I’ve ever gotten in life. I’ve got to do my part.”
“But I’ve already made a way for you to go. My grace is sufficient for you.”
“I’m sorry Sir; my folks filled me with the proud traditions of the heartland. I’m born and bred in the heart of the Western wilderness. I couldn’t just take a free ride. I’ll make You love me.”
“Well thank you Miss Polly, but I think we have a failure to communicate here.” Jesus looks a little confused and shrugs His shoulders. Glancing at Pat, he defers to the announcer with a wave of His nail scarred hand.
Pat leans over the podium and says, “Thanks Polly, we’ll call you. What about you Bachelorette no.2? What’s your name?”
“Hi Pat. My name is Misty Bote.”
“Hi Miss Misty, tell us a little about you.”
“Well Pat; tell Mr. Jesus that if He wants a thrill, I can rock His world. I’m a lot easier to get along with than Miss Prissy at my left and a whole lot easier to look at.”
Wolf whistles and shouts of you rock girl, sound from the single men in the audience, verifying the accuracy of Misty’s last statement.
“I’m from the big city, Mr. Jesus. Pick me and I promise, You’ll never be lonely. I’m more than enough to satisfy any man’s appetite. I’ll make you feel like You’re walking on water every night.”
“And unlike Polly, I’ll take all You’re giving. Look at this promise ring on my right hand. That’s a 5 carat rock in that baby, and it ain’t a rhinestone, brother. I’m packin heat if you know what I mean sweetie. My last beau joined a monastery when I broke it off with him. He said he was giving up because he could never find another one like me in this life.”
With her last comment, Pat Stence blushes a crimson red. Jesus looks at him, and addresses Misty.
“Miss Misty, I think you’re on the wrong show.”
“Isn’t this the Swinging Singles Hour? I’m in the mood to rock your world. This could be your lucky night sailor, if you know what I mean.”
The audience now is hushed, overcome with shock. Speechless, even the single men are staring with mouths agape. They look at one another, not quite knowing how to react; but Jesus has the situation well in hand.
Jesus looks lovingly towards the dividing wall between them and answers: “My child the wages of sin are death, but the gift of God is eternal life. Forsake your sin and call on my name. My life was laid down to buy your freedom. Satan, I rebuke you in Jesus name.”
Misty’s face undergoes a change. Her wanton smile disappears and her eyes begin to water as she feels God's holy presence wrap around her. Falling to her knees sobbing uncontrollably, she begs for mercy. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I’m just a poor sinner from the wrong side of the tracks.”
“You are forgiven my child. Accept true love and you shall live.”
Misty Bote rises to her feet, jumps off her side of the platform and runs to Jesus. Falling at His feet, she washes His feet with her tears. He raises her slowly to her feet, wraps her scantily clad body in a blanket given by a knowing stage hand, and looking deeply into her eyes says, “You are clean my beloved daughter, go with my messenger and sin no more.” He kisses her on the forehead and she exits stage right with the stage hand.
Wiping tears from his eyes, Pat turns to the audience and says: “What can I say folks? He has that reaction on all women. Just ask Mary Magdalene, she’ll tell you. I guess that’s why I call Him the lover of my soul.”
The audience is overcome by the Spirit of God and the station has to break for a commercial.
After a few minutes of tear stained joy, Pat resumes his duty, wiping his tears on his coat sleeve.
“OK, now it’s time for our last contestant. Bachelorette no.3, what is your name and where do you hale from?”
“Mr. Pat, my name is Ruth. I am a daughter of Jerusalem. I was named after one of my ancestors. She was just a homeless person. Her mother in law Naomi took her in and instructed her in the way of righteousness. Ruth needed a kinsman redeemer and I like her am not worthy of Your great love, but because of Your sacrifice, I who once was afar off have been brought near.”
“Though I’m just a twig on a wild grape vine, I’ve been grafted into the true vine. Have mercy on your handmaiden and cover me with your robes of righteousness. You’ve drawn me with the cords of Your love and I am unable to resist Your beauty. You are the fairest of ten thousand.”
“My father Abraham said You would return to the house of Jacob to take a bride for Your glory. I beg you Yeshua, accept me as I am and receive me. You have the right of redemption and I am a daughter of Abraham.”
Jesus is now the one overcome with emotion. Tears stray down the slope of His cheeks, staining his beard, as He slowly rises from his chair. “I will gladly receive you my daughter. You have ravished my heart, my love. I will perform the duties of kinsman redeemer to you. I died and rose again for that very purpose. You’re the only girl for me.”
Jesus, with arms raised, parts the wall of separation that has kept His bride from Him through the ages and the two meet in an embrace, oblivious to the wide eyed audience in front of them. Slowly they part heavenward, rising out of the studio on a cloud, arm in arm, waving and blowing kisses to the stunned audience.
Pat Stence sighs a big sigh and says: “Ain’t love grand?”
< Message edited by Mark0 -- 10/29/2009 10:17:04 PM >
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