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Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread - 11/28/2005 3:14:10 PM
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Fritzpw_Admin
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Welcome to the one stop thread on the topic of marriage after divorce.
Please join the discussion as the thread takes us through the topic of marrying after divorce.
Is it ok to get married when one is divorced?
Should a person who has been divorced and since re-married be allowed to serve as pastor/deacon/elder/minister/etc.?
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RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread - 11/28/2005 3:30:00 PM
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momfree
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I agree with neuron that it is. A lot of cases anyway. (maybe not all?)
Anyway...is it ok? yes is it wise? sometimes. Is it always desirable? In my case NOPE LOL
Granted, I may sing a diff tune a few years from now....i always wanted a desitnation/beach wedding ;)
Problem would be finding the groom that's worth the wedding plans, not to MENTION the lifetime marriage! LOL
Sorry, had to add a little humor to what undoubtedly will turn into the ugliest thread on the face of crosswalk
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"Peace is the absence of anger"
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RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread - 11/28/2005 3:31:28 PM
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QueenM
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People, even some Christians, are going to do what they want to do anyway. But I believe that the only biblical justification for divorce is when ones spouse commits adultery and is unrepentant, or when an unbeliever chooses to leave. And in both cases, yes I believe that remarriage is okay.
If someone were divorced for the above two reasons, then yes, they should be allowed to serve in any and all levels of the church. However, if their divorce was not because of the above, I believe that roles as Pastor, Deacon or Elder should be left voluntarily unpursued.
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RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread - 11/28/2005 3:35:33 PM
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hnt
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quote:
Sorry, had to add a little humor to what undoubtedly will turn into the ugliest thread on the face of crosswalk
LOL yes it will be interesting!
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Emotional abuse and Faith
Reaching for IT!!!!!!
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RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread - 11/28/2005 3:55:25 PM
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Keabird
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Just came on here for the first time today ... had to smile when I saw this thread! So maybe not so ugly after all.
Actually, I think the question may be a little more specific. In fact, I will divide it into two questions.
Perhaps one of the real questions is, if someone recognizes that they have divorced wrongly, and/or remarried wrongly, should they reunite/separate? That is the hard one to answer. I believe that because every situation is different, that it comes down to a personal decision and guidance between the person concerned and God. Because God has forgiven the sin - it's a case of "what do you want me to do now, God?"
The other question is, should someone in the above situation be allowed into church leadership?
My answer to that is another question - if someone has confessed sin and been forgiven, are we holding their past sin against them if we disallow them from being in leadership? A sin that God Himself does not remember?
I personally think that if someone has confessed sin, and is obviously living for the Lord, meeting the criteria of the Bible in the sense of being well-spoken of by outsiders, managing family well, and being honest about the grace and mercy shown to them by God, then there is no reason why they should not be in leadership. After all, none of us are perfect, so are any of us really "good enough" for leadership ... God will use whom He will use.
Sherri 
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread - 11/28/2005 10:27:43 PM
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tinasdad
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Well, it looks like the simple post that I started got everyone so crazed that it is now locked and I can't reply to all the questions that everyone has for me. First, I wish to thank those who have encouraged me to search for God's will in this matter and not listen to any human being. This is what I have tried to do from the begining and in much the same way that I felt convicted by God that I was a sinner in need of a savior and put my trust in Jesus, I felt convicted by God's word in this matter. For any of you that are married and don't feel that you are joined spiritually to your spouse...that your wife was made by God Himself just for you....that this bond can never be broken...I feel sorry for you if you lack this.
I look at this as several different issues. First, is my second marriage adultery? Yes it is. Jesus says so and that is good enough for me. There is no forgiveness without repentance, right? I should have stayed single after my wife divorced me but I didn't. Why? Because I was angry and bitter. Why? Because someone that I loved very much rejected me. What will my 1st wife do? That is up to her. For those who say that I would be hurting my 2nd wife and children involved, don't you think that I would suffer also?..that I AM suffering as I work through this? This is the toughest decisions that I have ever had to make. By the way, I know a heck of alot about divorce so any of you that say that I don't know about pain just back off. None of you know anything about me or the hell I have been through so just back off. But also, if it was too painful for Paul, and Peter and John and every other Christian to do what is right none of us would sign up for this gig. Anybody want to sign up to be a missionary in Columbia? Might hurt your family if you die at the hands of some whackjobs...how selfish! I really don't care what any of you who have attacked me think of me. As a matter of fact, the fervor and hostility that I have gotten has actually made me think more about why folks are so crazed than their message. The people who really do care and have encouraged me, I thank you again and your love and Christ can be seen through your patience and encouragement to study the word and pray over this.
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RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread - 11/28/2005 10:53:55 PM
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Restored_Heart
Posts: 627
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quote:
Well, it looks like the simple post that I started got everyone so crazed that it is now locked and I can't reply to all the questions that everyone has for me. First, I wish to thank those who have encouraged me to search for God's will in this matter and not listen to any human being. This is what I have tried to do from the begining and in much the same way that I felt convicted by God that I was a sinner in need of a savior and put my trust in Jesus, I felt convicted by God's word in this matter. For any of you that are married and don't feel that you are joined spiritually to your spouse...that your wife was made by God Himself just for you....that this bond can never be broken...I feel sorry for you if you lack this.
I look at this as several different issues. First, is my second marriage adultery? Yes it is. Jesus says so and that is good enough for me. There is no forgiveness without repentance, right? I should have stayed single after my wife divorced me but I didn't. Why? Because I was angry and bitter. Why? Because someone that I loved very much rejected me. What will my 1st wife do? That is up to her. For those who say that I would be hurting my 2nd wife and children involved, don't you think that I would suffer also?..that I AM suffering as I work through this? This is the toughest decisions that I have ever had to make. By the way, I know a heck of alot about divorce so any of you that say that I don't know about pain just back off. None of you know anything about me or the hell I have been through so just back off. But also, if it was too painful for Paul, and Peter and John and every other Christian to do what is right none of us would sign up for this gig. Anybody want to sign up to be a missionary in Columbia? Might hurt your family if you die at the hands of some whackjobs...how selfish! I really don't care what any of you who have attacked me think of me. As a matter of fact, the fervor and hostility that I have gotten has actually made me think more about why folks are so crazed than their message. The people who really do care and have encouraged me, I thank you again and your love and Christ can be seen through your patience and encouragement to study the word and pray over this.
Again I feel the need to post this Scripture:
Deuteronomy 24: 1-4 (AMP)
1WHEN A man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a bill of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house,
2And when she departs out of his house she goes and marries another man,
3And if the latter husband dislikes her and writes her a bill of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies, who took her as his wife,
4Then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife after she is defiled. For that is an abomination before the Lord; and you shall not bring guilt upon the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance.
Tinasdad - I appreciate your thoughts and feelings, but this scripture is clear - you cannot go back.
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<-------Lil Peanut.... due ~10/27
Yes, this will make 6 (5 of them girls!!)...
Formerly Hunterjumper777
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RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread - 11/28/2005 11:07:06 PM
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Restored_Heart
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As for the OP:
Is remarriage after divorce ok? Yes, in certain circumstances....
(Innocent spouse - abandonment by unbelieving spouse or unrepentant adultery; also if one has been washed clean by the blood of Jesus - they are a new creation)
Divorced people serving in Church Leadership? Yes, with qualifications.....
They must be right with God NOW, following His direction and call.
_____________________________
<-------Lil Peanut.... due ~10/27
Yes, this will make 6 (5 of them girls!!)...
Formerly Hunterjumper777
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RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread - 11/28/2005 11:33:55 PM
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Keabird
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Hi Tinasdad, I'm glad you are still around, was wondering if you had given up on the forums altogether!
I personally didn't see anyone attack you. What I saw was people be honest and upfront with you - you wouldn't want them to do any different to that, would you? It would kind of defeat the purpose of asking for opinions in the first place.
Sometimes when people ask for opinions on these forums and get a response that is contrary to what they were hoping for, they will accuse the posters of attacking them. I have seen it happen on a number of occasions. From what I have seen though, very rarely are they actually being attacked - it's just hard to accept people being totally honest sometimes, especially when someone thinks differently to ourselves.
Part of the reason that, as Christians, we are advised to maintain regular fellowship is because we help and learn from each other. Sometimes that means that people disagree, but in that disagreeing, people grow and learn, and hopefully we all get to know the Word of God better. I think there is a Proverb that says, "as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another". It is good and healthy.
Perhaps this new thread that has been started will help answer some questions for you.
Sherri
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread - 11/29/2005 12:32:51 AM
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lovenHim
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Dear Tinasdad,
I am thrilled when Holy Spirit retores people to Himself, and calls them back to genuine repentance and restoration to His marriage truth. Praise God that He has burned the truth in your heart. I could not help but notice that those who disagree with you are trying to impose the legalism of Moses's civil code upon you. It is amazing to me that they would chose the one particular section that Jesus specifically threw out.
Brother, I suggest you listen to a message Rev. Wilcox preached last month in Lancaster Pa. on this very subject. It is being broadcast later this month, but can be downloaded by going to www.marriagedivorce.com. Please go to the second page and click on the link called "Sermons on MDR by Rev. Stephen Wilcox." The one you want is the first one listed called "MDR 1 - What Jesus Declares." You can stream it, or download it onto you computer.
There is also material on that same question at: http://www.marriagedivorce.com/hoseaproject7.htm that should help you. I will pray that God will give you great wisdom as you follow Him with gentle and kind conviction. I am praying for you.
LovenHim
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RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread - 11/29/2005 12:55:30 AM
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neuronstatic
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Who is imposing legalism? That seems kind of funny. I was pointing out exactly that. That we should ignore the legalists that claim divorce is not biblical. I am so glad lovenhim agrees with us that legalism is bad and false teaching. The rest of their post was confusing and self-contradictory though.
To anyone who thinks of leaving their current spouse because they think divorce was not allowed from their first spouse, start practicing your explanation to your children. I cannot imagine explaining the truth of the situation to a child.
It must go something like this: "Children, I am leaving you and your mommy and ruining your entire lives because God demands sacrifice from me because my first wife sinned a long time ago, and because of that, now you and your mommy must pay dearly for the rest of your lives also, because that is the god I serve, he demands that you sacrifice for that old sin, but I get to return to another man's wife, the one who caused all this, because my god allows that. Now don't you feel better knowing I will be happy?"
I know this tone is harsh, but that is exactly what the situation in the other thread is basically stating. I just posed it in straightforward terms even a child can understand and avoided the pious verbiage that is often used to make it sound palatable. And it is not palatable. It stinks and any man that would do that to his children is no godly father and he is no godly husband for even considering leaving his covenant wife, which is what his current wife is, simply because he feels like it.
The God, the one true God, the one I serve says quite clearly, in several places in His word: I desire compassion and not sacrifice.
So go look up the Internet material. Listen to the false teachers and modern day pharisees. They will tickle your ears. Or, pick up the Word of God, read it. For if you had had known what these words mean "I desire compassion and not sacrifice", you would not condemn the innocent.
And in this case, the innocent are the ones to pay. And they will pay with their lives.
_____________________________
Click here for an example of God blessing a man with a second chance at marriage in a new wife.
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RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread - 11/29/2005 4:40:14 AM
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merryheart195
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OP:
Is it ok to get married when one is divorced?
Should a person who has been divorced and since re-married be allowed to serve as pastor/deacon/elder/minister/etc.?
Romans 7:1-3 "Or do you not know, brethren (for I speak to those who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives? For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the huband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man."
I Corinthians 7:39 "A wife if bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord."
No, it is never OK to remarry unless one's first spouse has died. Any remarriage outside of that is considered to be adultery.
I Timothy 3:2-12: "A bishop must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?) not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. Likewise deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money, holding the mystery of the faith with a pure conscience. But let these also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons, being found blameless. Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. Let deacons be the husband of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well."
I would say that regardless of what you believe in regard to remarriage, the Bible does not allow them to hold these positions within the church. The many qualifications for leadership are clear and high, and would exclude more individuals than just the remarried.
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RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread - 11/29/2005 4:45:29 AM
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merryheart195
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quote:
ORIGINAL: neuronstatic
tinasdad, if you truly feel convicted that your marriage to your current wife is adultery, say hello to lifelong singleness because if you follow the legalists for that thought, you must follow through with the Deuteronomy thought. And you cannot return to the first wife. You have your answer. You just don't like it.
Now the rest of the thread is for the bigger questions.
Tinasdad, if you will go to Matthew 5, you will see 6 instances where Jesus is addressing the OT law:
vs.21-22, 27-28, 31-32, 33-37. 38-42. 43-48. In each one of these passages Jesus says "You have heard that it was said ...but I say...." If you have a good cross reference Bible you can go to each one and find the specific OT law to which He is referring. He then negates each one of those laws when He says "but I say" and "raises the bar", explaining what is expected from there on out. Each one was a dramatic change from what was required under OT law. Gone are justice and restitution. Loving, not hating your enemies is the standard now required. He now deals with issues of the heart, and not simply outward appearances. Deuteronomy 24 is thrown out the window, along with each and every one of the other OT laws to which He is referring. They are no longer acceptable behavior because they do not offer the unconditional love and forgiveness that Jesus now requires of us. No one would ever go digging around Deuteronomy or Leviticus to resurrect OT laws which Jesus says will no longer be acceptable conduct in any of these verses but 31-32. Only in the matter of marriage, where it is needed to support one's theological persuasion, does it suddenly become permissible to resurrect what Jesus says is no longer acceptable conduct.
In Matthew 5 Jesus is revealing what the Gospel is all about: unconditional love and unconditional forgiveness. It is why we cannot help but cringe when we read the Psalms and come across verses that say things like let his wife be barren, or strike my enemies dead, or let my enemies be cursed for generations. We would find ourselves in serious trouble with the Lord if we were to pray in this fashion, for we are now commanded to love our enemies and to do good to those who persecute us.
It is in Matthew 5 that Jesus lays before us the changes instituted under the New Covenant. It is why no act committed against us can be held against the perpetrator in our hearts or by our actions. Never easy, but by His grace and by the power of the indwelling Spirit we are able to follow in His footsteps, all the way to the cross. Blessings to you!
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RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread - 11/29/2005 5:49:20 AM
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northstar
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Tinasdad, I applaud you wholeheartedly for seeking the truth and being willing to obey God no matter what it costs...  I pray God will bless you as you seek Him, and that He will comfort all involved.
With regards to the OP...
Is marriage after divorce wrong? Yes.
Is it adultery? Yes.
Because Jesus says so. As does Paul. That is also good enough for me.
People say that God sees the second set of vows as binding, and that a person should stay in their current marriage, but they forget that God sees their first set of vows as binding, so they mustn't leave their first marriage in the first place. And if they do, then Paul says in 1 Corinthians to stay single or be reconciled...
That's good enough for me too...and while this is an emotive, traumatic, horrible thing to have to debate (and truly makes my heart ache) because it's people's lives we're talking about, we're also called to obedience and holiness. The Bible says that adulterers will not enter the kingdom of heaven, and that remarriage after divorce is adultery. I for one wouldn't want to take a chance on that...I'd rather repent of the adultery and be rewarded in heaven, than ignore it for a few years of 'happiness' on this earth and be told when I stand before God that I'm an unrepentant adulterer and can't come in...
God bless you all...
www.marriagesforlife.com
< Message edited by northstar -- 11/29/2005 6:09:21 AM >
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Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: they shall prosper that love thee.
Psalm 122:6
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RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread - 11/29/2005 7:53:47 AM
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cadz
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quote:
ORIGINAL: northstar
Tinasdad, I applaud you wholeheartedly for seeking the truth and being willing to obey God no matter what it costs... I pray God will bless you as you seek Him, and that He will comfort all involved.
With regards to the OP...
Is marriage after divorce wrong? Yes.
Is it adultery? Yes.
Because Jesus says so. As does Paul. That is also good enough for me.
People say that God sees the second set of vows as binding, and that a person should stay in their current marriage, but they forget that God sees their first set of vows as binding, so they mustn't leave their first marriage | | |
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