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Keabird -> RE: Remarriage After Divorce - One Stop Thread (11/30/2005 3:18:35 PM)
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Okay, I am gonna be brave and put in my two cents about one of the verses ... LOL
quote:
7. New King James Version (NKJV)
9And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality,[a] and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." - just chose this one at random from the list of quotes.
I will tell you how I read this and how I interpret this.
Firstly, Jesus was speaking to men, not women. Remember, in His day on earth, women had no say at all. Husband did exactly what they wanted with their women.
So Jesus, as people have pointed out, was talking about WHEN divorce is appropriate and when it is not. He is talking to the HUSBAND, not the wife.
So, let's look at possible examples from this verse.
1. The husband tells Jesus that his wife has been unfaithful. According to what Jesus said, in that case, divorce is reasonable and allowable. In that day, if a husband gave his wife a certificate of divorce, it freed him to marry again. Jesus does not dispute this, as far as I can see. So in that instance, the husband can remarry. The wife either gets stoned to death or "put away".
2. The husband tells Jesus that he got tired of his wife, even though she had been faithful to him, so he divorced her. According to what Jesus said, in this instance the husband is sinning against the wife, treating marriage frivolously. Jesus points out that because unfaithfulness hasn't been an issue, their marriage covenant still stands.
The husband says he has sent his innocent wife away. Then some other man comes along and covets her (and because of the custom of the time, the woman doesn't get much say) and marries her. Jesus said that second man who marries her commits adultery. At that point, the wife is still innocent! I think there is another verse - sorry there have been so many quoted that I can't recall which one it is [:)] ) that says that the woman's first husband is the one to CAUSE her to commit adultery. So the husband is still held accountable, not the wife. If we look at it then, that the wife ends up committing adultery because of her husband caused it, then how would Jesus regard the wife? Is He going to condemn her? Of course not. So even though the rules say that she has committed adultery, He will not hold her accountable for it, but the husband who unjustly sent her away was actually responsible for the adultery, not her. How will Jesus view the second man who married her, unwittingly committing adultery against her first husband? Will He condemn him?
3. The husband divorces his wife because she has committed adultery. He then asks Jesus if SHE is free to remarry. According to the verse as already discussed, the husband is free to remarry. According to the LAW OF THE TIME, he is not free to take the first wife back, because she has been defiled. But what about her? he might ask. So, according to what Jesus said, she committed adultery. What can she do about it - supposing she hasn't been stoned to death but just put away? She can be forced to remain single for the rest of her days (this is back in those times). If another man then sees her and covets her, and the first man is no longer in a covenant because of her adultery, then the man might marry her. The first covenant was broken with the original adultery, so the second one is a new covenant.
So, in all these cases, if the woman was faithful, then she is not held accountable for her husband's unjustified divorce. The husband is held accountable. If she WAS unfaithful, then the marriage covenant can be dissolved. In that case, the husband is free to remarry. The wife is basically treated as others see fit, after that - she has very little say, as per the custom of the time.
So then, we come to today's world. Nowadays it is recognized that the HUSBAND is also capable of being unfaithful and is held accountable.
So suppose a wife says to Jesus, my husband has been unfaithful. According to that verse, it is reasonable and justifiable that she gives him a certificate of divorce, since stoning is no longer allowed [:D]
Or, the wife says to Jesus, I divorced my husband, even though he wasn't unfaithful. I just didn't like him any more. According to the verse, she has sinned against her husband, and if he remarries, SHE causes him to commit adultery - she is to blame, not him. The woman who marries him unwittingly commits adultery against the first woman. How will Jesus view this? Will He condemn that second woman?
Then we finally come to our new life in Christ, and freedom from the rigorous law of Moses (I am sure none of you out there are sacrificing animals for atonement any more).
A new covenant applies now. It is the covenant of love, forgiveness and mercy. In all cases where there was adultery, the non-adulterous spouse is justified in divorcing. But now there are new options.
1. The faithful spouse can apply forgiveness, and choose to remain with the unfaithful spouse, if he or she is willing, to work through their issues. If the unfaithful spouse will not do that, the faithful one is free to divorce and then remarry (applying Jesus' verse as before).
2. The faithful spouse can apply forgiveness, but is not obligated to remain with the unfaithful spouse, and is free to divorce and remarry because the covenant has been breached through adultery.
3. The adulterous spouse, having been (justly) sent away through divorce, can receive the forgiveness of God. This does not obligate the first spouse to take them back. But it DOES mean that in the forgiveness and mercy of Christ, their sin of adultery is washed away. They are no longer married, because the first covenant was breached and declared dead with divorce, and they are a washed-clean single person. They can:
a) choose to remain single
b) receive a second chance from God to try and be faithful to a new covenant in marriage, if God gives them that chance
Concluding, nowhere do I see God condemning a faithful spouse. He always holds the unfaithful or abandoning spouse accountable (I call the spouse who was tired of being married the abandoning spouse). Nowhere do I see God telling a faithful spouse that they are bound to the covenant which has been breached by adultery or abandonment.
I see God considering "innocent" the spouses who have been sinned against through adultery. I see Him not blaming them if they remarry, but holding the adulterous spouse responsible if that happens. It is that although they have been put in a position of sinning themselves, God in His justice does not hold them accountable for that sin. So although they could choose to remain single, God will not hold it against them if they remarry.
I see God calling adulterous spouses to account. I see His gift of forgiveness to them. I see His grace towards them if they repent. I see Him offer them new opportunities to be faithful to a new covenant. He recognizes that the first spouse is no longer obligated.
I see God calling spouses who abandon their covenant to account. I see Him holding them accountable for subsequent adultery on the part of the spouse they unjustly divorced. I see God's gift of forgiveness to those abandoning spouses. I see His grace towards them if they repent. If the first spouse hasn't remarried, the abandoning spouse can offer to resume the original covenant if it has not been breached by adultery on either side since the divorce. But if the first spouse has remarried, then the abandoning spouse is not obligated to interfere with that new marriage, as the abandoning spouse was accountable for it in the first place. The abandoning spouse should not now create further problems for the spouse they abandoned, as they are called to live in peace, in Christ. I see God, in mercy, offer the abandoning spouse new opportunities to be remain in a new covenant without abandoning it.
So, there are rules. Then there is forgiveness. Then there is grace. Then there is mercy. And above all, there must be love. But nowhere is a faithful spouse TIED to an unfaithful one, except that they choose to be. They will not be condemned if they don't.
Hmm.. just writing all this out has helped me work through it quite well! Thanks! [:)]
And that is all I have to say about the Scriptural side of it.
Sherri [:)]
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