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opposite sex friends in your room? - 3/24/2008 1:44:21 AM
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redtulip
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When I was younger, say in my earlier teens (highschool/middle school) my parents never let boys come into my bedroom - in fact, they weren't even allowed to do into that wing of the house. We always had to hang out in common areas of the house.
Now I'm 19 and a freshman in college. I'm home going to a community college for this semester, but I was living away (300 miles) from home last semester. Now that I'm home again, my parents suddenly have no problems with guys hanging out in my room.
What are your rules about this kind of stuff? I sometimes even hang out with just one guy at a time, not like we're dating or anything, and it's kind of weird sometimes.
Do you guys have rules about this kind of stuff? If you're still living at home, do your parents have rules about this kind of stuff?
I guess there isn't really any important point to this question, other than to hear other's views on the topic : )
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 3/24/2008 9:25:39 AM
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fluffmonkey
Posts: 1622
Joined: 2/17/2007
From: some where over the rainbow
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Yes it was the same way with my parents guys were not allowed in my room, we always had to hang out in our living room, or dinning room, or etc...common areas like you said... but I moved out and then a year later moved back in with my parents, now my parents don't have a problem with any guys or anyone hanging out in my room but that may only be because my bedroom is open area....my bedroom is what most people use as a den... lol at 18 most parents feel your grown up and they cant do anything about your choices but hope you make good ones... some parents think after you turn 18 your grown up and they cant tell you what to do anymore...can only say things and hope that you respect them and do them. Then again some parents like mine dont feel that way they feel if im still here living under their roof that I obey the rules of home.
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 3/24/2008 3:47:29 PM
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_MavericK_
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My parents let my buddies in my room, but usually my brother is staked out somewhere nearby.  They kinda have to let the dudes in because most of my best friends are guys lol.
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 3/28/2008 3:17:35 PM
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1love1God1way
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Two Feet Rule. . .
Two feet on the floor at all times.
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 3/30/2008 8:31:57 AM
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crimsonfollower
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Personally- I would never have a guy in my bedroom for more than about 2 secs - period. And if/when they do come in- for even just a couple of minutes, the door is always open. If you want to spend time "alone" with a guy, there are plenty of other places to do so beside the bedroom - the corner of a living room, or outside on the porch - in other words place where you can talk but you are still where other people can see you. Those places are more open and a lot less temptation would be there than in the bedroom. I am not trying to give anybody a guilt trip, but just stating my own convictions on the matter. Just so you know, I am 25 and currently do not live at home. However, even if I did live at home, the same rules would still apply- both because they are my own thoughts and because they are my parents' thoughts on the matter.
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 4/3/2008 11:04:45 AM
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AngelInWaiting1983
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From: South Carolina
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As a teenager my mom would let us go to my room, but the door had to be opened. Now that i'm 24 i'm sure she wouldn't mind. I usually don't bring people home with me though.
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 4/4/2008 1:34:48 AM
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amymelissa
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My parents have never really put any rules in place about boys in my room. I never really had many guy friends come over throughout high school. But with my bf she doesn't care whether the door is open or closed. We're not going to do anything anyway...there is waay too much chance one of my parents or one of my brothers will randomly barge in wanting something.
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 4/4/2008 12:57:38 PM
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evangelical
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ok...well my parents would never ever ever allow any guy into my room...and i wouldn't either anyway...lets just put it this way my parents do allow my guy friends to come over to my house but i don't...i think my house is my special place and i don't like for just anyone to go there...there is always other places where you could go to such as a park, restaurant, you know the typical hang out place. Don't get me wrong a couple of guy friends have gone over to my house but its not something that's done frequently.
anyway...what i think and what i want to hold is that the first guy to ever step into my bedroom, whether if its at my parents house, a dorm, or my own house will be the man that i marry. I think it would be such a great thing to share with my husband, letting him know that hes the first guy that i'm alone with in a bedroom.
plus, like someone said earlier theres too much temptation, it best to just stick to public places...
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 4/5/2008 11:40:49 PM
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fallenstar
Posts: 129
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My parents were always strict on rules like this. I followed, of course. I am sharing an appartment with a few girls who are sexually active with their boyfriends, because their parents never enforced rules about being around boys. It's their life anyways, so who am I to judge?
I do believe that most of the people on this forum are right on. It is kind of, what I might say, inaproprite, to have a friend of the opposite sex in your room.
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 4/9/2008 8:53:08 PM
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FaithLegacy
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I think its great that your parents were careful. I didnt really have parents that were too concerned so I took it upon myself to be. I think its better for me not to be alone with a guy in my room. Actually, I am 26 and I rent a room from a friend from Church and that is one of the house rules. The cool thing is I dont find myself in tempting situations. There is already enough out there. And as much as possible I make every effort not to be alone with a guy in general. But, I have a purpose for all this. I want to be protect myself and honor my future husband. So for me its the small things that can make a difference.
quote:
ORIGINAL: redtulip
When I was younger, say in my earlier teens (highschool/middle school) my parents never let boys come into my bedroom - in fact, they weren't even allowed to do into that wing of the house. We always had to hang out in common areas of the house.
Now I'm 19 and a freshman in college. I'm home going to a community college for this semester, but I was living away (300 miles) from home last semester. Now that I'm home again, my parents suddenly have no problems with guys hanging out in my room.
What are your rules about this kind of stuff? I sometimes even hang out with just one guy at a time, not like we're dating or anything, and it's kind of weird sometimes.
Do you guys have rules about this kind of stuff? If you're still living at home, do your parents have rules about this kind of stuff?
I guess there isn't really any important point to this question, other than to hear other's views on the topic : )
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 4/19/2008 1:32:54 PM
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GradySizemorefan24
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I don't want to have guys in my room with me, a few months back I was in a really rebellious stage in my life. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, and when I was alone with guys things escalated and a lot of lines were crossed. So I find it better to not even give yourself that temptation.
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 4/21/2008 4:00:45 PM
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_MavericK_
Posts: 4755
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From: Texas, wild and free
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I don't ever intend to have even my guy FRIENDS in my bedroom with me (unless they're just wandering through with me while I'm grabbing something or other) should I ever live alone. Right now it's ok because my family's always home. But if they weren't...
Well, I'd let my best friend in, but he's the only one. That's the only guy I could stand in front of in the dark, alone, with my eyes closed, and have no fear. I trust him with my life. But he's earned it.
But ya. He'd be the only one.
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Suddenly, I don't like Ike quite as much as I have in the past.
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 4/21/2008 10:49:05 PM
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ShutterBox
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yeah.. no boys in the room alone. and I wouldn't want one in here anyway. My room is awesome and all, but there's nothing worth spending time on in here except maybe the xbox.
and even if I was that type of girl, sound travels 
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 4/22/2008 12:10:16 AM
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Real_Solitude
Posts: 390
Joined: 5/9/2005
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No one is allowed into my room.
More to the point though, I would have to say it would depend on the relationship. I see no problem with friends of any gender pairing hanging out with each other, no matter the location. If you're romantically involved with the other person, however, caution should be exercised.
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 4/30/2008 12:03:48 AM
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manda_24
Posts: 17
Joined: 12/13/2005
From: Indiana
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I live in a house with a couple other girls right now and we had "house rules" for a while but they've been kinda ignored lately. They were no guys upstairs (where the bedrooms are) after 11:00 pm and the door is to be left open and then no guys in the house after 1:00 am.
We haven't really followed them, my roommates fiancé is always in her room late and he's been in mine too late just talking. My ex has been in my room several times, we watched a movie together in there with my roommate and her fiancé too, they sat in a chair and we sat on my bed together. I've been in his room too, we sat together on his bed while looking at stuff online. We never did anything but sit on them together. So that said, I guess I don't really have any rules exactly.
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 5/22/2008 4:33:06 PM
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girlofmanycolors
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Hi, I'm new here BTW, my name's Debra. I have to say I really envy all of you who have parents who enforced those kind of rules and now have the self control to keep yourselves pure like that. I had a baby just before I turned sixteen so obviously many lines were crossed in my life. I am 23 now and trying to fix my own mess but I really admire all of you who were and are stronger than me. If I had it to do over, I'd absolutely have no guys in my bedroom. Temptation is better avoided. However, my beutiful little boy is proof that God can make mistakes into something beautiful. 
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 6/5/2008 5:30:54 PM
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NealIRC
Posts: 68
Joined: 5/30/2008
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At 1st I was going to reply to this thread, but then, like 100% of the replies or so were by females. Last I checked, this isn't the women-only section, nor did the topic say anything about it. Lot of shy guys out here. ;)
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 6/6/2008 8:16:16 AM
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TheBrad
Posts: 17
Joined: 5/13/2008
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I didn't have a problem with having a girl in my dorm room in college (having a lot of female classmates, friends, and a female Bible Study co-leader), I just made sure I kept the door open (well, when I was in graduate school at Wheaton, this was actually a rule). Come to think about it, I think most of the time I preferred using the study lounges instead of a room if I had to do something with a girl.
As for dates, etc. I always like having them in public places instead of inviting her over to watch movies alone on the couch. So go out to a movie instead of staying in, go out for coffee or dinner or what not instead of staying in a place alone.
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 6/13/2008 12:54:12 AM
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evry1needsgod
Posts: 500
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They (girls) were allowed in my room, but our house was small, and the door had to be WIDE open. There was no difference between my room or the living room, so my parents didn't mind.
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 6/16/2008 5:02:32 AM
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DreadPirateRandy
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quote:
ORIGINAL: evry1needsgod
There was no difference between my room or the living room, so my parents didn't mind.
That's how I view my room, too. It's not really more secluded than any other room in the house.
I believe my parents trust my personal responsibility over my actions and the ability to handle things set before me. They allowed their son to fly over a thousand miles on his own, I'm sure they aren't going to worry about me having a girl in my room.
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RE: opposite sex friends in your room? - 6/16/2008 8:24:45 PM
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MamaPyratekk
Posts: 96
Joined: 6/16/2008
From: NC
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Well right now I wouldn't have friends of the opposite sex in my room because I'm married lol. However, here's how it was growing up...
I live with my grandparents until I was 11, and I would never ever be allowed to have boys in my room. Then I moved in with my mom who has a kind of, "Whatever," attitude and I was allowed to have them in there if I wanted and I many times had guy friends spend the night. I honestly think that I wouldn't have lost my virginity as early as I did (I wasn't a Christian at that point in time, for information's sake), I mean come on...she was letting my guy friend (who then became my boyfriend) sleep in the same bed with me! As often as we wanted to!
When it comes to my children, I don't think I'll have the same attitude my mother did. I don't want girls hanging out alone in the room with my son, and if my next is a girl then I won't want boys in there with her. I think that once they're older, maybe 16 or so, that I'll allow it as long as the door stays open where I can see what is going on.
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